Help Picking Up the Tab?

[Liltx]

OK it's not what you're thinking.

My mother is going with me and 2 dd's this summer since dh is busy with serveral work projects. I am paying for the resort portion and DM is only supposed to pay for the airfare for all of us. This was fine when we planned to stay at POFQ and have the dining plan. Everything would be prepaid by me. Now we are staying at the dolphin and I will be paying for dining OOP. I need help convincing my mom not to pay when we are there. She will insist and I don't want to hurt her feelings but I want to pay. Doesn't seem right if I don't. I won't enjoy myself as much but she won't enjoy herself as much if she doesn't pay. I plan to buy all of our tickets in advance so she can't pay for those. She will also buy dd's everything they even look at twice so that is another issue. I have decided to tell her that we will not shop until the last day and that should help some. It will be easier to convince my 3 and 5 year old than DM though. We see her every week so this is not a one time thing.

Any advice on how to beat her to the punch on the dining bill?

BTW I love my mom completely. She is my angel and one of my best friends.

Monica

 

[summerlandjeff]

Sounds like you answered your own question! Let her know how much she means to you, how much you want to repay her for her genrosity and how special your trip will be if she lets you do this. If she's half the wonderful women you say, she'll see the wisdom she imparted in you and say yes!

Enjoy...

 

[Leslieann1024]

OK it's not what you're thinking.

My mother is going with me and 2 dd's this summer since dh is busy with serveral work projects. I am paying for the resort portion and DM is only supposed to pay for the airfare for all of us. This was fine when we planned to stay at POFQ and have the dining plan. Everything would be prepaid by me. Now we are staying at the dolphin and I will be paying for dining OOP. I need help convincing my mom not to pay when we are there. She will insist and I don't want to hurt her feelings but I want to pay. Doesn't seem right if I don't. I won't enjoy myself as much but she won't enjoy herself as much if she doesn't pay. I plan to buy all of our tickets in advance so she can't pay for those. She will also buy dd's everything they even look at twice so that is another issue. I have decided to tell her that we will not shop until the last day and that should help some. It will be easier to convince my 3 and 5 year old than DM though. We see her every week so this is not a one time thing.

Any advice on how to beat her to the punch on the dining bill?

BTW I love my mom completely. She is my angel and one of my best friends.

Monica

When you arrive at the restaurant, slip your credit card to the waitperson - no arguments ! I frequently have to do this with my mom as well, until she catches on. I try to give her some small distraction (take the kids to the restroom to wash hands, settle strollers, whatever) to divert her attention while I do it. I have also given my card to the host/hostess when I check in for our reservation, for them to hand off to the waitstaff.

To appease her, I usually let her buy them a frozen lemonade or pretzel or ice cream (whatever snack they may be craving) during the day or during whatever show we might be watching. Makes her feel better, and its a minimal purchase. . . . . .

Good Luck !

 

[Northern_Julie]

Not sure how the Dolphin works but I plan to put all mine on the room and tell mom it is part of the resort part.

 

[Pumbaa_]

Buy a bunch of Disney dollars. Gotta use em

ok, how about getting an AP for yourself and a DDE card. Sorry Mom, I have to pay because the card is in my name

How about if you set a budget for the trip, tell her how much the food will be (fudge a tad) and say split it or share somehow. Then tell her you want to put it on your CC for reward points. Then she can feel she is splitting the cost with you, but you have actual control.

Whenever I go out with my Mom, she insists on paying. Every single time. Sometimes she will let me pay the tip, sometimes not. This goes back to when I was growing up, my parents did not have much. My grandparents (paternal) would treat us to dinner out or other treats. My mom says now it is her turn (my gram has been gone for some time). She can afford it and wants to and you know what, I let her. It makes her happy.

 

[ragtopday]

Just to combine what a few others have suggested - you could estimate how much you think you might spend on meals, then buy a Disney gift card(s) in that amount. Use those at the restaurants and tell her it was part of the hotel package.

 

[ms*mountaineer]

I was also going to suggest that you just put the meal on your room - and tell your mom "it's part of the package". And let her buy some Mickey bars for the girls here and there if she wants to.

 

[Liltx]

The gift card is a great idea! I never thought of that. WIll I be able to reload it if I need too?

It's true that she can way afford it but she has already paid for MANY trips for our family when it was her idea. This time I asked her and I can afford it as well so I WANT to.

Thanks Again!

Monica

 

[MAKmom]

Just to combine what a few others have suggested - you could estimate how much you think you might spend on meals, then buy a Disney gift card(s) in that amount. Use those at the restaurants and tell her it was part of the hotel package.

We are doing this at Christmas. We are passing on the DDP after adding it up & loading a gift card for meals.

 

[heartbeeps]

when DH & I travel with a single friend, the FIRST thing we do is establish a kitty. We each put an equal amount in the kitty and one of us holds the kitty.

Here's how we work it - say we're gonna be a disney for a day and estimate we'll each spend $15 for bfast, $20 for lunch & $45 for dinner + $10 for snacks; we'd EACH add $90 to the kitty. Then every time we went to eat, we'd get the bill and use the kitty money to pay for it. Sometimes we were out of kitty $ before we were out of the day and then we'd each pony up a nominal amount to feed kitty again. It's a win-win situation. If there's $ left at the end of the trip, we just divide it equally amongst the 3 of us.

(In your case, I'd recommend YOU hold the kitty or your DM might decide that the kitty doesn't have to be used!)

 

[wdwhereicome]

Does your mom want to adopt me and take me to disney?

I guess I'm looking at this from another perspective.

What if you have your credit card - disney gift card - ready to pay and if she insists, let her.

Then you will have extra dollars to do something really special - like take as many photopass pics of your trip, of her and her grandkids and have a cd made and have lots of pics put together in a collage frame for her?

I'm not suggesting taking advantage of her - that would be my job if she adopted me. I'm saying let her be happy. And if paying makes her happy, there are other special things you can do for her during the trip.

I understand you're in the position to take care of her - but as a mom in her situation - I love taking care of my kids (even if they're adults). It makes me happy. I know they'll pay. I know they want to take care of me, but while I still can do it, I offer.

 

[pooch]

you won't have as much fun if you don't pay and she won't have as much if she doesn't. Sounds like you can both afford it so, take turns having fun!! Life is too short.

 

[bumbershoot]

The gift card is a great idea! I never thought of that. WIll I be able to reload it if I need too?

Yes you can.

I'm not a person that enjoys treating others to meals. Luckily, my family is filled with people who love taking out others, and who get quite grumpy if someone else is faster. So although I have NO idea what it feels like to be happy to spend more money, I have heard many others talk about it!

So if your mom is a person who loves treating others, and if it enhances her trip if she can do that, you really need to let her do it at least once. It brings her pleasure, so don't keep all that pleasure (or so others describe it) to yourself.

(my SIL is still bothered with me that I got seaworld tickets for me and my son, when she intended to buy them for us, and that was in December!)

 

[Chedstro]

Leslieann1024- Just a note of caution - I have learned never to let my credit card out of my sight.

I recently had the number stolen - number not card - of my AmEx card at a restaurant.

Over $700 of merchandise was charged to me at a local department store and billed. Luckily I caught it and was eventually able to have the charge removed; but it was not easy.

We live close to WDW and the restaurant we think it happened in is also not in WDW. But I am now very cautious about letting my card leave my sight and prefer that it be "swiped" in front of me. I am not too terribly worried about WDW restaurants; but carry cash for anyplace OP.

 

[disnut8]

The charging back to your room would work great but since you are at the Dolphin, you can't do that. You can only charge back to your room from the places at the Swan and the Dolphin.

I like the Disney gift card. And maybe a little white lie. "Mom, I got this as part of the package so I have to use it for the meals. We can settle up when we get home".

I know what you are going through. My in-laws won't let us pay for anything when we travel with them. Nothing. Not even a tip. The last time, they even came over after the stay and asked us how much we had been leaving for housekeeping and then wanted to reimburse us for that!

 

[mickey&minniealways]

I like the gift card idea but maybe if she could pick out a special character meal or Dinner show she could pay for that one. It would make her happy and you would still be paying for most everything.

 

[GazerBeam]

What I have done in the past is be ready with the credit card BEFORE the check comes. As soon as the waitperson comes by with the check hand them the card. With any luck, they'll be off with it before anyone else realizes what just happened.

Of course, you run the risk of the check being wrong, but in the unlikely event that there is a problem you can deal with it after. I've never had an issue with a check at WDW.

GB