Help - Newborn who will not stop crying

[TheBigBadWolf]

I would buy her a copy of the DVD Dunstan's Baby Language. It teaches the "secret language of babies", and is amazing. It's a shower gift I buy for all expecting mothers. It's especially helpful for first time mothers. From their website:

All newborn babies produce 5 distinct "pre-cry" sounds that signal their 5 most important needs. By listening for these subtle cries , you are able to prevent the crying from even starting. Dunstan Baby Language System will teach you to identify exactly what sounds to listen for, so you know precisely what your newborn needs. Learn how to listen to your baby's 'babble', and respond quickly. Your baby will reward you by sleeping more, allowing you to sleep more.

Also, several of these "words" are shown on YouTube videos. Have her check it out and see if she can learn what her baby is telling her.

 

[Mommee]

robin, I'd send her to a lactation consultant if she needs help, not the DIS. Some of the suggestions to give formula this early could really derail breastfeeding efforts. The body is great at regulating the amount of milk the baby needs-IF the baby is given the opportunity to nurse enough to produce that milk. Pumping after fully nursing will help increase supplies, but it can take 4-5 days for milk to come in to begin with.

While I'm by no means an expert, I did successfully breastfeed all four of my children, one that was a hungry monster Was it tiring to nurse him that much? Absolutely. But it's what was needed.

As for amounts, they can also weigh the baby before and after nursing to see the difference in weight.

It's normal for a breastfed baby to lose weight in those first days, so lost weight does not necessarily indicate an issue unless it's excessive. I had one DD that went from 5lbs. 11 oz. down to 4lbs. 13 oz. , and so we (pediatrician and I) watched her closely and did frequent weight checks. As soon as the milk was in the loss reversed and she chunked right up. I'm not sure I would've won the battle on her if it hadn't been the 4th child I'd nursed, though.

 

[LuLuO]

My friend had her first baby on Sunday. Big Baby, 9 lbs 8oz, and beautiful!

Day one, he started breastfeeding but if he's not sleeping he is incredibly fussy. He only wants to be on the breast or on her chest, understandably.

She called me EARLY this morning at her wit's end. Her husband left for work and her poor Mom has been with them all night. NOTHING worked but what she already tried, which is not a good option.

They've checked for colic, already... I'm just wondering if anyone else had this problem with a newborn and any suggestions?

My son nursed constantly for the first couple of weeks. Seriously. I didin't leave the house, I just let him nurse for as long as he wanted. Often it was several times an hour. I even coslept with him because he nursed all night long for quite some time. If he wasn't nursing he was usually crying.

 

[Nik's Mom]

My sons were both big babies. My oldest son cried for the first couple of weeks. It was really bad. He was always hungry. I ended up supplementing with formula and it got better after that. My 2nd ds seemed to settle in after a week and no formula supplements were needed. I did go to a lactation consultant with my 2nd son and she really gave me some great advice.

 

[LuLuO]

Something I wanted to add is that for my second child, DS, I didn't even try to pump until we had a good established nursing relationship. I don't know if your friend is trying to pump too (that's what I did with my first child, DD, and I really believe it negatively affected my ability to nurse). Also, sometimes it can take up to a week for milk to fully come in. So it is best if she nurses on demand for however long the baby wants to. This will help her milk to come in.

As PP stated she may want to contact a lactation consultant.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I would have to agree he probably isn't getting enough to eat. Get the new mom and baby to a lactation consultant ASAP - there may be one on staff at the hospital where she delivered.

I nursed my 2 girls just fine (first one for 15 months and the 2nd one for 2 years) but when DS3 came along it was another story. He had latching issues and was hungry all of the time. We were both miserable. I reluctantly supplemented him with formula and pumped to keep my supply going because that seemed to hurt less at the time. We had to change him to Alimentum because of an allergy to regular formula then give him Zantac for reflux. The Dr also discovered that his latching issues were due to a short frenulum (the string under the tongue) and a simple procedure in the Dr's office called a lingual frenectomy solved that problem. He nursed for a year then weaned himself but I never was able to produce enough milk to feed him by just nursing.

Also another lifesaver were Mylicon drops. They are just simethicone in drop form for babies - a common anti-gas medicine. You can get it at any pharmacy over the counter. CVS has a generic that is a little cheaper in price. A few drops on the tongue calmed my kids down when nothing else would.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Oh my...poor new mama!!! Tell her I send a 'high five' from me for breastfeeding and to please, please don't give up. Tell her to call her local LLL right away...she can talk to the leader and they'll be super helpful. Even more so than any lactation consultant I've ever known. And have her mom run out and get a sling so if baby does need to be carried a lot these first weeks she can do so comfortably.

 

[ccgirl]

I wondre if he is not getting enough to eat. He is a big baby and she may not be producing enough milk for him. Has she tried to pump and give him a bottle, then she would know how much milk she is producing and how much he is consuming.

My DD was just like this. Nursed every two hours round the clock. I did not realize until I started pumping that I was just not producing enough. Not all woman do. I started supplementing with formula (she never got confused) and things were better. I had to switch to a special formula as she had BOTH reflux and colic. I will get into that a little more in detail later.

Maybe he's not getting enough milk. Hard to tell how much they are actually getting when nursing.

Exactly. While most moms are able to provide enough milk while nursing, not all are.

At 3 days after birth her milk might not have come in yet, in which case she needs him on the breast as much as possible to stimulate the milk to come in and give him a chance to get the colostrum. She shouldn't be trying to limit his nursing time right now.

You do not want the baby to become dehydrated either. Have the mom keep track of diapers and note when the baby is peeing and pooping. They had me supplement in the hospital because my newborn was not producing urine.

You took the words right out of my mouth. My first child had colic, and that was bad, but NOTHING like my son who had reflux. Nothing would calm him down. I was at my wits end one Sunday night and my Dr. called in some Baby Zantac. After just 20 minutes he was a different child.No more crying, and when I say crying, I mean screaming in pain, red face, mouth wide open crying. It was like a miracle drug!! We kept him on it for quite some time and never had another problem. After a while tough, he didn't need it any more.

I will say that he is 9 now, and still has issues with reflux from time to time, but it's mainly when he eats foods high in acid, and he manages fine on his own.

I got really lucky and my first child had BOTH refux and colic. I would have to put her in the crib and go outside to cry. I never understood shaken baby syndrome until I had a child like that. Luckily, I had the skills to put the baby in a safe place and remove myself from the situation. I used Mylicon drops on my daughter and that helped a lot. I also tried to stay away from broccoli and other foods that are very gassy when I was nursing. In addition, my DD was always a tummy sleeper as that helped to ease her pain. She HATED being in a car seat as being all balled up caused her severe pain.

I would agree with trying a bottle of formula to see if it is a hunger issue. If that doesn't help they need to bring the baby to the doctor. If it IS a hunger issue, nurse the baby, pump for 10 minutes after you nurse to make it seem like the baby is eating more. This will increase her production quicker. When the twins were born the lactation consultant at the hospital had me do this from their first feeding on. I could feed both babies and pump out about 10 oz of milk from each side within a couple days. I had a lot of breast milk stored .

This is a great suggestion. I know I had people (inlaws) tell me there must be something wrong with me that all woman can nurse, it is in our nature. That is simply not true. Have her try the above suggestion and see how she makes out. It sounds like it is all so new still to your friend and the newborn. It is a big adjustment for both of them. I had so many people tell me not to give up, nursing was natural and best. Truth is...my baby was starving due to my decreased milk production. I felt like such a failure with everyone telling me they could breastfeed no problem - there must be something wrong with me. Truth is, there was. I really didn't need people making me feel worse. I agree to not give up, if that is what she wants to do. We had to supplement my DD was Enfamil AR as it had rice starch in it that would make it thick enough she would not projectile vomit.

I wish your friend all the best. As I said my first child had both colic and reflux. I waited 5 years to have another one as I simply could not go thru that again. My second baby was as easy as they come. I actually called the pediatrician a month after he was born because I was worried he was sleeping thru the night.

Due to these issues I did not BF my son. He is bigger and healthier than she was. I had people actually yelling at me at the hospital when I told them I was formula feeding.

Please just support your friend in whatever decision she decides to make. Sounds like you are a great support to her already.

 

[shortbun]

You said that they checked for colic....does this include reflux? Two of my kids had reflux issues as babies and had similar symptoms. The pain from reflux is worst when the baby is laid on its' back, so they tended to scream when they were laid down.

This was our issue as well. If my son wasn't screaming, he was moaning. He couldn't sleep. Hold him upright as much as possible and call the pediatrician. I refused the scoping test and insisted on the meds right away. 24hours later, the baby no longer was screaming - just spitting up like crazy. My nephew had the same issues and their pediatrician told them nothing was wrong. Six months later, they changed pediatricians, got their son on meds and all was well.

 

[LuLuO]

Just wanted to throw this in. Pumping is not indicative of adequate or inadequate supply. Keeping track of wet and dirty diapers is, as PP stated.

I was not a good pumper. I successfully nursed my son for 16 months and was never able to pump more than 3 ounces from both sides combined per day and that was multiple pumping sessions throught the day. So don't let her get discouraged by the amount that she is pumping. If that is what is happening.

I do agree about the possibility of reflux too. DS had to be propped up after eating for several months. He also slept on his left side, of course he was nursing constantly at night too for quite some time. Meds didn't work for DS unfortunately. But definitely something to look into.

 

[lovesmurfs]

My friend had her first baby on Sunday. Big Baby, 9 lbs 8oz, and beautiful!

Day one, he started breastfeeding but if he's not sleeping he is incredibly fussy. He only wants to be on the breast or on her chest, understandably.

She called me EARLY this morning at her wit's end. Her husband left for work and her poor Mom has been with them all night. NOTHING worked but what she already tried, which is not a good option.

They've checked for colic, already... I'm just wondering if anyone else had this problem with a newborn and any suggestions?

DS was the same exact size. We had to supplement with formula until my milk came in.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Actually, there is. The number of wet and soiled diapers in a day should indicate if he is getting enough breast milk.

Nope -- poop doesn't necessarily indicate it. Once my milk was in and until he started solid food, DS only pooped once a week. It was normal for him.

 

[Magpie]

Sounds like my baby girl...

She was almost 10lbs when she was born. For the first couple months she would cry for 20 minutes, nurse for 20 minutes, fall asleep at the breast and then wake up fussing to start the whole cycle all over again. I was going out of my mind!

I assumed she had colic, since there was no reason for her to be crying all the time. She was a fat, healthy baby. I breastfed exclusively and it never occurred to me to worry that she wasn't getting enough - she was getting bigger every week!

How do you "check for colic"?

The BEST thing anyone ever did for me was come and take my baby away for a couple hours so I could sleep.


****Edited to add****

Actually, I just noticed the baby in the OP was born this past Sunday? That'd definitely be early for colic!

I'd definitely watch to make sure he's producing plenty of wet diapers. Sometimes newborns have trouble getting a good latch and though they can appear to be nursing, they're not actually getting all that much milk. Is your friend in contact with any nurses/midwives/lactation consultants? Can she see milk in his mouth when he comes off her breast? Can she express milk herself, and is he visibly swallowing? Does he ever spill/spit up milk, or does it come out his nose when she lets down suddenly (I practically drowned my second, my letdown was so enthusiastic!)?

I had some difficulty nursing my first and it took us about two weeks to get it all sorted. She couldn't get a good latch, and I had to learn how to hold her and pinch and get her on just right. After that it was okay for about a week. She didn't start in on her colic until she was just over 3 weeks old.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I wondre if he is not getting enough to eat. He is a big baby and she may not be producing enough milk for him. Has she tried to pump and give him a bottle, then she would know how much milk she is producing and how much he is consuming.

is baby nursing a lot?
how often has baby been weighed since birth? They should gain about an ounce a day.

has there been the proper amount of wet and poopy diapers?

 

[KiKi Mouse]

robin, I'd send her to a lactation consultant if she needs help, not the DIS. Some of the suggestions to give formula this early could really derail breastfeeding efforts. The body is great at regulating the amount of milk the baby needs-IF the baby is given the opportunity to nurse enough to produce that milk. Pumping after fully nursing will help increase supplies, but it can take 4-5 days for milk to come in to begin with.

While I'm by no means an expert, I did successfully breastfeed all four of my children, one that was a hungry monster Was it tiring to nurse him that much? Absolutely. But it's what was needed.

As for amounts, they can also weigh the baby before and after nursing to see the difference in weight.

It's normal for a breastfed baby to lose weight in those first days, so lost weight does not necessarily indicate an issue unless it's excessive. I had one DD that went from 5lbs. 11 oz. down to 4lbs. 13 oz. , and so we (pediatrician and I) watched her closely and did frequent weight checks. As soon as the milk was in the loss reversed and she chunked right up. I'm not sure I would've won the battle on her if it hadn't been the 4th child I'd nursed, though.

I agree with this but wanted to add that while I am a big breastfeeding suppoter/LLLer I had a lot of supply problems.

DD#1 I took medication to increase my prolactin levels and pumped.
DD#2 & DD#3 medication again, but due to baby not gaining enough weight (daily weigh ins) we had to supplement

Going to the public health nurse or a lactation consultant will help. With a baby that young they should come to the house. The baby needs to be weighed to make sure there is adequate weight gain.

 

[ccgirl]

The BEST thing anyone ever did for me was come and take my baby away for a couple hours so I could sleep.

I don't know how close you live but this is wonderful advice too. I thought I was going out of my mind. My mom came over and sat with my baby just so I could take a hot shower and lay down. That made such a huge difference. Since I was supplementing, she just gave my DD a bottle when it was feeding time and I had 3 hours to myself.

I just wanted to say it is so nice of you to be so caring of your friend.

 

[Marionnette]

Mom also needs to make sure that she is taking in enough fluids. You cant make milk if you dont have enough fluids. My second child was over nine pounds too. I would sit a tall glass of water next to me as I nursed him so that I replaced all those fluids that were going into the milk production. Sorry that your friend is having such a rough time. Its really hard to see your child so unhappy and not know how to make things better.

 

[goofy4tink]

My first was 10 lbs, 6 oz...he was always hungry. I tried breastfeeding him but for some reason he just wasn't getting enough from me, so we started him on formula. That did the trick. I felt badly but it is what it is. He never got put down with a bottle....I treated those bottles as if they were in fact, a breast...always held him close as he drank.
Now, my dd, was much smaller. She had issues from the get go. I decided to just go right to formula, rather than nurse. She was a projectile vomiter...man,she could get some distance. She developed colic down the road. We tried every formula that was out there...finally, had to go with the evaporated milk/karo/water stuff...the old fashioned way. That helped a lot, but she was still colicky. Only time took care of that.

Try to continue nursing but if it's decided that the baby just is still hungry, a bottle is going to help a lot..even if it's just one or two a day. And don't feel guilty if that's the case. There is no 'right' way to feed your new baby.

 

[Robinrs]

Sounds like my baby girl...

She was almost 10lbs when she was born. For the first couple months she would cry for 20 minutes, nurse for 20 minutes, fall asleep at the breast and then wake up fussing to start the whole cycle all over again. I was going out of my mind!

I assumed she had colic, since there was no reason for her to be crying all the time. She was a fat, healthy baby. I breastfed exclusively and it never occurred to me to worry that she wasn't getting enough - she was getting bigger every week!

How do you "check for colic"?

The BEST thing anyone ever did for me was come and take my baby away for a couple hours so I could sleep.


****Edited to add****

Actually, I just noticed the baby in the OP was born this past Sunday? That'd definitely be early for colic!

I'd definitely watch to make sure he's producing plenty of wet diapers. Sometimes newborns have trouble getting a good latch and though they can appear to be nursing, they're not actually getting all that much milk. Is your friend in contact with any nurses/midwives/lactation consultants? Can she see milk in his mouth when he comes off her breast? Can she express milk herself, and is he visibly swallowing? Does he ever spill/spit up milk, or does it come out his nose when she lets down suddenly (I practically drowned my second, my letdown was so enthusiastic!)?

I had some difficulty nursing my first and it took us about two weeks to get it all sorted. She couldn't get a good latch, and I had to learn how to hold her and pinch and get her on just right. After that it was okay for about a week. She didn't start in on her colic until she was just over 3 weeks old.

I checked with her about the colic check just now and she said that was what her MOM said, not the doctors.. She's on her way to the doctor now and I gave her all the words to ask about. Poor baby, he is such a cutie, too.

This is him at less than one day old:

 

[Mommee]

he's beautiful