HELP! Nervous flyer with kids

[SplashMountainMama]

I've never loved flying, but since I've had kids I'm even more anxious about flying. We've flown 2X to WDW and we are booked to fly at the end of January, but over the last couple of weeks I have steadily grown more and more panicky (word?) about flying this time. I am worried about everything from snow and ice to how my 3 yr old will react to the flight (he hates too much noise) or if the air pressure will be too much for my 3 month old. I've actually even thought about driving with the younger kids and having DH fly with the older kids, but I know that is really being a little silly especially since it's a 20 hr drive each way compared to a 2 hr flight. I'm nursing the baby so I don't think I can take anything for the anxiety even if I wanted to. I know that statistically flying is safer, but I still can't seem to get over the fear.How can I calm myself down???

 

[blessedby3]

Sorry to hear that you are freaked out about the flight. We will be flying in Jan. (1 1/2 hr flight) with 4 kids- 17, 12, 9 and 3 1/2 mos. My 2 middle kids and DH always seem to have ear pressure issues. We all take a sudafed about an hour before leaving (kids ped. suggested this) and DH and the 2 middle kiddos wear earplanes. All of us chew gum. Most of the time doing this helps for the most part. Sometimes they still have some ear pain, but I am hoping that the baby will not. This is her first flight. I will either be nursing her during takeoff and landing, or she will have her paci. I too worry about snow and ice. I just pray that we will not have a storm of any kind until after we are back from a Disney trip. The past 3 trips have been in the winter and we have avoided snow and ice each time. We are in VA, though, and dont get too much. Rest assured that like you said flying is safer than most long car rides. You will be at Disney safe and sound after only 2 hours on the plane. Just keep your eyes on "the prize" and focus on that. Sorry I dont have anything better to give you in the encouragement department.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

There is a great forum for fearful flyers (www.takingflight.us/forums) that could offer you some great advice. There are several of us DISers over there.

I have flown with my kids several times and they love it. I am taking all 3 alone to see the Grandparents on Christmas Day then back a few days later.

I usually find that even if I am nervous that I stay calm so that my kids don't pick up on my anxiety.

20 hours in a car vs 2 hours on a plane (where you can get up and walk around).... Which would really cause you more anxiety?

 

[Zeebs]

feeding your baby will help with any ear issues they may have and if they start screaming on landing just let them as this clears the ears as well. Two hours is a doddle you will be fine. Try four 12 hour flights, in fairness I am not a nervous traveller but these were long long flights for us with my 10 month old. I was still breastfeeding so that was very handy.

Kirsten

 

[feedthebirds]

I am like you, I absolutely hate flying. Hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will do it though because it gets me there quicker, but I do not like it at all. I am not a happy camper on the plane, but I try to hide it from the kids the best I can, I just remind myself that it is not that long, that people do it everyday and that I am doing what is most convenient and best for my kids. They enjoy it, so I try to keep it special for them while battling my nerves. I will actually throw up sometimes in the restroom prior to boarding, that's how bad I feel about it. I find that if I keep myself busy playing tic tac toe or some game with the kids I feel slightly better, knowing that the end of the flight is closer by the minute and they get some special time with mom on their flight. My 4 year old likes to go through the Sky Mall magazine and find out how many pets are in it. My 5 year old used to give me a play by play of the take off and point out all the things that made me nervous, lol, when he was 2. That was very difficult for me, but I made it through and here I am today. I remind myself that I just have to get through the flight and things will be fine.
I do not have any real advice for you, I just wanted you to know you are not alone in your dislike of flying. You can do it, just think about all the fun you will have once you get there and focus on that and your little nurser that needs you.
If you need some last minute person to vent to before your flight, just pm me. I sure could have used that before my 4 hr flight to Orlando, trust me!!!!!

 

[Disney 'Ohana]

Hope the 2 hours goes by quick.

 

[Minniemouse07]

We've flown a number of times and dd logged in 5 round trips before she turned 3.5yo!

We traveled a few weeks ago and dd (6.5yo) and ds(2yo) both flew w/ no ear issues. It was ds' first flight and dd has never had any ear issues on flights in the past.

Dd actually used to sleep through 90% of her flights, unfortunately ds doesn't! He wasn't bad, we just had to keep on top of things to keep him busy and distracted.

Something that may help us in the comfort department is that the kids are always in their car seats. This trip was the first time dd didn't use one.

Good luck!

 

[SplashMountainMama]

Thanks everybody for the encouraging words. I have visited a couple of fear of flying websites in the past. The sites that explain all the noises,etc. seem to help. It's mostly take-off and turbulence that worry me, but hopefully, having the kids there will keep me distracted enough to get through it. Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed for good weather and no snow delays!

 

[Cruz91]

The kids sense your angst. My wife is much like you - so much so that the only 'cure' for her fear of flying was our first trip to Disney - which was a 2 day, 17 hour trip EACH WAY in the Odyssey. Despite the video system, snacks galore, and standing on our heads to entertain the tots, we were all about to kill one another before we got home. At any rate - do whatever necessary to become calm. I didn't see anyone mention medication - but that is a very real option. Especially if it means not only to help your own fears, but to help you be more calm with the little ones...

 

[disney[xo]sweetie]

ohh, i am exactly the same way.
ive learned to cope with it though.
ive HATED flying ever since i was 12 and we were on an EXTREMLEY bumpy flight, and my dad was making plane crash jokes (thumbs up dad. way to go.)
and ever since, i hate flying, but ive flown soo much since we used to travel all the time when i was a kid, and i did QUITE a bit of traveling after college.
so ive learned that you always hype yourself out too much before hand, and when you get on the plane, just breathe, and know you might be startled and scared sometimes, but you'll stay alive, and you get to go to DISNEY as a reward.
have fun, you'll be FINE.

 

[Suziqzer]

I haven't flown for 10 years or more and now my DH and I are talking about flying in 2 weeks to see his dad and go to Disney World. Last minute trip and I'm also fretting the flying part. Part of me would rather stay home than go... just because of the flight!

I have found a website that seems to have helped alot.. but still very uncomfortable with the whole idea!

 

[Nom]

I also am a very fearful flyer. I used to always have to drink before a flight, but then when I got pregnant of course I couldn't! Here are some alternate things to do that helped me:

1. www.fearofflyinghelp.com is a free online course designed by a pilot. It is AWESOME. I can not recommend this site enough. It is supported by donations. I love this course.
2. I found that when I am with dd, I am so busy taking care of her that it takes my mind off of being nervous. I am sure that you won't even notice take off with two kids to take care of!
3. Finally, you can't take sudafed yourself since you are nursing (it may temporarily dry up your milk since it is a degongestant), but if I were you, and you are really nervous, why not buy one wine from the flight attendant? It is fine to have one drink while nursing, and it may help take the edge off.

Hope this helps! You should be fine. I always do much better when flying with dd than by myself, since I have to concentrate on taking care of her and not just on my own fear. Let us know how you do!

 

[Suziqzer]

Nom..
That's the website that I've been looking at too. I haven't flown like I mentioned before for at least 10 yrs. My DS is 2 1/2 and will be with us in Jan. for my first trip in so long. DH seems to think I will be so busy with the little one that I will forget about my own fears.. hope he's right.
Just thinking about it right now makes me shakey.

If you don't have time to check out the website Nam recommended just know that like you said yourself statistically speaking that flying is so much safer than driving that kind of distance!! The web site gives you an insight into the real statistics and all the safety details that go on to provide you with safe transportation. Technology is so great these days, and the airlines commitment to safety is a biggy. I've read the course online twice and I'm considering the dvd or book, not sure yet.. but I'm tackling this fear so I can enjoy vacations with my DS as he grows up and not have to have vacations always be around home anymore.

We can do this!!!!

 

[SplashMountainMama]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I actually have used fearofflying.com before our last 2 trips and it did help a bit, but obviously not completely. I try to stay calm for the kids and hopefully that will get me through. Our last 2 flights I did have a drink before which helped, but this time we're flying at 7am so that's not an option I assume. Dh and I have 6 kids ages 10,9,7,6,3 and 2 months so hopefully I'll keep busy enough. The last time we flew our 3 yr old was about 8 months and he was fine, but he's pretty sensitive to noise so I'm hoping he is just so excited about the plane that he won't freak out from the noise of take off. My 10 yr old also doesn't like to fly (he discovered this on his own, not because of me BTW) and so I'm trying to be positive about it for his sake because I don't want to reinforce his fear. Thanks again everyone. It helps to know I'm not the only one out there.