Help!! Need suggestions or ideas for back to school.

[dvcfamily41801]

Next Tuesday my son will be starting pre-first in elementary school. Today was the open house/orientation and it started out pretty well. Then they took the children on a bus ride and thats where it went downhill. He had the glassy eyes and the looks of fear and did not want to go. He did go, but told me tonight at dinner that he cried and was really said "and other kids looked at me and now I won't ever have any friends" It broke my heart.

What are some things you did for your children when they were starting school? Previous years when he would move up to the next class in his daycare I would put a little note in his lunch. I didn't know if that would be silly now that he is older. OLDER....5 years old is hardly OLDER but you know what I mean.

Thank you for any suggestions, this moms heart is breaking.

 

[MsDisney23]

Aww Lisa Hun, keep putting those notes in there! I used to make lunch bags for Lauren when she was young. I still hide notes for her, she will be 21 and she loves it.

Your son will be fine, give him time,he is scared. He will make friends. Remind him that he is not alone, all of the other children most likely are scared as well.

I know that feeling of a Mom's broken heart, it will be alright...

 

[mommytotwo]

Do you know anyone of the children that rides the same bus or goes to the same school? If so, why not have a play date with them so they can become friends and he will know that they will be there when he goes to school.

 

[720L]

My daughter was in pre-1st last year and the first month was bad. She would come home EXHAUSTED (it was every day all day) and saying that nobody wanted to be her friend. I was able to be a classroom helper once a week and that really seemed to cheer her up. And she made lots of friends after a while.

 

[aprilgail2]

Next Tuesday my son will be starting pre-first in elementary school. Today was the open house/orientation and it started out pretty well. Then they took the children on a bus ride and thats where it went downhill. He had the glassy eyes and the looks of fear and did not want to go. He did go, but told me tonight at dinner that he cried and was really said "and other kids looked at me and now I won't ever have any friends" It broke my heart.

What are some things you did for your children when they were starting school? .

I bribed my daughter the first week of school...have a good week at school and you get new roller blades LOL...and let me tell you, she was a crier in preschool!! First year she cried for 2 weeks and I had to take her out..next year she cried a week but stayed and the last year of preschool she cried just for a day...kindergarten she did really well, no tears and she got new blades! There were kids in her kindergarten class that cried and the other kids really don't think much of it...they are only 5 years old...once he sees that the kids are not going to make fun of him and will still talk to him the first day of school he should be fine...out of all the kids in class that cried the only one the kids talk about is Kevin...he is known as Kevin the Cryer...but he cried every day for the first 2 months of school and every monday for the whole year....
What is pre-first though?? Is that kindergarten??

 

[clh2]

Lisa - are you familiar with the book "The Kissing Hand"? Maybe you could pick up a copy from the library or stop by your local bookstore. What follows is part of the review from Barnes and Noble:


The Kissing Hand

Audrey Penn, Ruth E. Harper, Nancy M. Leak (Illustrator)

ABOUT THE BOOK

The Kissing Hand

ANNOTATION
When Chester the raccoon is reluctant to go to kindergarten for the first time, his mother teaches him a secret way to carry her love with him.
FROM THE PUBLISHER
A mother raccoon teaches her son a way to overcome his fear about going to kindergarten for the first time.
FROM THE CRITICS
Publishers Weekly
In her foreword to Penn's sugary tale about Chester, a young raccoon who would rather stay at home than go to school, Jean Kennedy Smith notes that the story is ``for any child who confronts a difficult situation, and for the child within each of us who sometimes needs reassurance.'' Its obvious message is delivered by Mrs. Raccoon, who tells her son that ``I know a wonderful secret that will make your nights at school seem as warm and cozy as your days at home.'' She then kisses his palm, and Chester feels the kiss ``rush from his hand, up his arm, and into his heart.'' Whenever he gets lonely, she advises, he is to press his hand to his cheek and ``that very kiss will jump to your face and fill you with toasty warm thoughts.'' As it may for youngsters in comparable situations, this ``secret'' works for Chester, who in turn kisses his mother's palm so that she, too, will be reassured. Sprinkled with hearts and flowers, Harper and Leak's paintings of the raccoons and their woodland habitat are pleasant if sentimental. Ages 3-8. (Mar

 

[dvcfamily41801]

Thanks for the replies so far.

We have "The Kissing Hand" in fact I read it to him tonight and then he read it to me. I just love this story, it is in my top 5 favorite childrens books.

MsDisney23 - thanks for your thoughts and I AM still going to put that note in his lunchbox!! We have a little code word for I love you so maybe I will just jot that down.

mommytotwo - Matt's very best friend who lives in our development will be riding the bus with him but in a different class at school, hopefully that will help a bit. Yesterday she was with him and he was still real nervous. I was so proud of her, she was as cool as a cucumber telling him it would be okay.

720L - I would love to hear your thoughts of the pre-first program your daughter was in. Can you send me a private message? It would be my dream to be a classroom helper (see my tag)

aprilgail2- Pre-first is a program in between kindergarten and first grade. Our age cutoff in our district is 5 by Sept. 1 for kindergarten. Matt was 5 last November but completed kindergarten in his daycare. This is a full day class and it is a review of kindergarten and they introduce first grade material. I am real excited about it. While he could totally handle academically first grade, we just think he is a bit young and this way he can ease into the transition of new school and all the emotions that come with it.

 

[720L]

dvcfamily41801: I can't figure out how to PM you!! I would if I could!

My daughter is a November bday also. We could have put her in a "Young 5's" class, but felt she was ready for kindergarten. She did great socially, but needed a lot of work on her fine motor skills, so her kindergarten teacher recommended Pre-1st. We now wish we would have done Young 5's. Our schools Pre-1st program was all day, every day, so it was a LONG day for our little girl. I felt horribly guilty that she should only be in Kindergarten and be home with me for half a day, school the other half, not all day like the bigger kids. She did adjust though, and had a good year. Her handwriting improved 100%, and she is reading first level books. I am glad we didn't try and put her in 1st grade. I had one other problem with Pre-1st, but don't want to get flamed so hopefully I can figure out the PM thing!

I loved being a classroom helper. I was able to see how she was interacting with the other kids--which I really wanted to do after she came home that 1st day saying nobody liked her. I don't know where she got that from but those girls weren't the nicest to each other. They had "friend clubs" and every week they were mad at a different girl so she wasn't in the club anymore. Hello?! This is Pre-1st grade! I don't remember girls being mean until maybe 4th grade? I told her it wasn't nice to make clubs and exclude somebody. I am pretty sure she listened to me and didn't do mean things.

Good luck with Pre-1st !

 

[mudnuri]

LOL too old for notes....

My girls are entering 3rd and 4th grades this year. Tonight I only have DD7, as DD9 is sleeping over he cousins, but anyway....we were out shopping and i was looking at stationary. DD7 says- "mom those for our lunch notes?" I looked at her and said- well I was going to if it's okay with you guys still? She says- oh mom get this one for sissy, and this one for me. We got out to the car, and I said so your okay with the notes? She says- oh yeah mom, Tia and Cassidy sit with me, and even they like to read what you write!...

So I think this year, I'll add a note to Tia and Cass along with DD7's note LOL a simple "happy Wednesday Danielle, Tia, and Cassidy! Hope your days going good!"...

LOL sorry, didnt mean to ramble but makes me giggle

Brandy

 

[aprilgail2]

. I don't know where she got that from but those girls weren't the nicest to each other. They had "friend clubs" and every week they were mad at a different girl so she wasn't in the club anymore. Hello?! This is Pre-1st grade! I don't remember girls being mean until maybe 4th grade? I told her it wasn't nice to make clubs and exclude somebody.
!

That was big in my daughters kindergarten class...they all made clubs at recess and didn't let other kids in etc...I hated that...well one day it was my daughters turn to be excluded from the club and I asked her what she did then and she said "well I made my own club and had other kids in it when they wouldn't let me be in theirs"... worse one of the clubs was named the "popular club"....where do they get this in kindergarten??? Then there are girls in the class who are just downright mean...one will tell the other kids, your mom has a big nose, your mom has an ugle mole on her face, your dad is fat, your mom is ugly etc...what a beast....then there was this girl at my friends sons birthday party and she tells the mom who is eating a piece of cake "if you keep eatingthat you will get fat like your husband"...girls are mean ever at 5 years old!

 

[Barb D]

Here's what I have planned. I hope it works for my DD; I don't know if she's going to freak or be really excited. It could go either way.

Anyway, I've told her that I'm going to walk her to the bus and take her picture. Then I'm going to get in the car and drive to school, so I can take her picture when she gets OFF the bus. Hopefully knowing that she'll see me at the other end will get her through the bus ride.

Then I told her that when she gets off the bus after school her big sister will be at the bus stop to get her, and that I'll be at home making COOKIES!

This will be special for the first day only.

We went to her open house on Thursday, and met her teacher, saw her classroom, etc. Her teacher is very sweet, and she made friends on the playground with a little girl who will be in her class.

 

[dvcfamily41801]

dvcfamily41801: I can't figure out how to PM you!! I would if I could!

QUOTE]

If you click on my username it will open a box that will give an option to send dvcfamily41801 a private message. Hope that works, I would love to talk more to you about the program.

I can't believe all the "club" talk. That is such a shame for these poor kids that are excluded, I just feel awful for them.

 

[Twinkles6892]

When I was at elementary school, you could have clubs, but you had to allow anyone who wanted to join, join

 

[720L]

aprilgail2:"Then there are girls in the class who are just downright mean...one will tell the other kids, your mom has a big nose, your mom has an ugle mole on her face, your dad is fat, your mom is ugly etc...what a beast....then there was this girl at my friends sons birthday party and she tells the mom who is eating a piece of cake "if you keep eatingthat you will get fat like your husband"...girls are mean ever at 5 years old!"

My daughter had those mean girls also! She came home in tears a couple times-I was FURIOUS! It's hard being a mom! They made fun of how my daughter colored. At first she colored everything the same color. They told her she colored like a baby, she came home crying that day--but on the good side she started coloring really well!!

The other wierd thing is that when they played house--they didn't play like I used to--my daughter told me everyone always acts like they are fighting. What? I just wonder what kind of home life they had. (flame away)

One little boy in her class called all the girls his hot chicks and wanted to get his belly button pierced. What?! It was kind of funny but not. I'm sure he learned that from his big brother or something.

Kids are growing up way too fast!

 

[mudnuri]

When I was at elementary school, you could have clubs, but you had to allow anyone who wanted to join, join

how do they make sure of that?

Here, there are clubs- some got really stupid, if you didnt wear purple you couldnt be in it etc. The worst one, as we live in a really poor area, was "if you dont own an American Girl doll, you cant be in it". I was livid when DD came home and told me that one. When your in an area that has 80% of the population eligible for free/reduced lunch, what are the chances that many are going to have that doll? I too asked DD what she did in that case, and she said- oh mom I made a new club and the only rule was that you had to be a girl. She personally could have joined that "AG" club, however her best friend could not have.

AT recess is where most of this takes place, and in my girls school, the grades are out there together. ie. K is alone, but 1st and 2nd is together and 3rd and 4th are together. Thats 60ish kids on the playground, kind of hard to keep the kids from making clubs I think

Brandy

 

[Twinkles6892]

how do they make sure of that?

Because we had an evil psychotic lady who watched us at recess and would sneak up behind you and say "Whatcha playinnnnnnnnnnnnn?" This was the same woman who made us stand outside all recess in line in Nov. because we had been loud the day before.

 

[cynsaun]

Because we had an evil psychotic lady who watched us at recess and would sneak up behind you and say "Whatcha playinnnnnnnnnnnnn?" This was the same woman who made us stand outside all recess in line in Nov. because we had been loud the day before.

She sounds lovely!



Lisa - I'm so sorry that your little guy is nervous. Is there any way he can talk to the bus driver beforehand? Maybe that will help a bit.

Good luck!

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I don't do lunch notes often, but I always buy a cute card for each child on the first and last days of school.
DS, the baby, is starting 2nd grade. We saw the class list yesterday and we got our second choice teacher out of 4 (but at least we didn't get the evil, evil one). Unfortunately, just like the switch from K to 1st, his close buddies are all in other rooms. He is a little guy and wears glasses, and is just getting coordinated now, so sometimes he "can't find" anyone to play with (out of 88 kids in his grade) and just sits. I just hope it gets better for him this year. DD#2, going into 5th grade, and DD#1, going into 8th, could walk into a room full of strangers and walk out an hour later with 3 EMail addresses.
Robin M.