Help! Need some advice about my DD6.

[ccgirl]

I am at a loss of what to do. I thought I would get "lucky" and maybe someone here has been though this. A few months ago my DD 6 1/2 started waking up many times a night, sometimes upwards of 8 just hysterical and unconsolable. She definitely seemed scared of something. I never let her sleep with me and always just walked her right back to her own bed. Now, her behavior is starting to suffer. I'm not sure if it is the chicken or the egg with the sleep deprivation. Anyway, she goes from good to bad in a split second. She is running around screaming how she hates herself and hates everyone. Then, 5 minutes later she is as sweet as pie and asking to try her new dress on. I brought her to a Kids Assessment center. They want her tested for ADHD and possibly medicated. However, she has no issues focusing/behaving in school and I have even asked the teacher. My heart is just breaking for my daughter and I'm not sure what to do. She is my oldest so I am not sure if this behavior is "normal". I just feel like such a failure as a parent. Could someone please shed some light on this. Many thanks.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm sorry your dd is going through this but you shouldn't feel like a failure as a parent, things like this happen. I know its hard, I have been through the same feelings when my ds was having issues. Just a question,are the people at the assessment center psychologists and psychiatrists?

 

[PollyannaMom]

You're not a failure! - In fact, I think you absolutely hit the nail on the head with sleep deprivation. Mood swings are really classic if a kid is over-tired (or an adult for that matter!!) And I've even seen the "symptoms" of not enough sleep mimic some of those of ADHD.

I think if you can get to the bottom of the nightmares, or whatever they are, things will improve. (Sorry I've no advice on that part. - We've had sleep issues before, but for different reasons.)

Good luck!

 

[live4christp1]

Has anything happened that could be triggering this? For instance, DS and I were in a car accident were another driver hit us on his side of the vehicle. Now he wasn't injured but he saw the whole thing happen and they took me out of the car on a back board with a neck brace, he also witnessed all this. He had nightmares about it for months.....several times a night, but in the dreams it was worse than what actuall happened.

Also with the abrupt change in attitude I saw this a lot with DS around that age (this was prior to the wreck) and termed it "the Eyeore syndrome". One minute he'd be playing happily, next minute complete and total mess with "no one likes me" "everybody hates me" "no one will play with me". Oh it was awful.......doom and gloom.

When the nightmares were really bad we ended up going to talk to a counselor/psychologist. She talked to DS and just encouraged us to let him talk about it and reassure him that I was okay, etc. It got better over time.

Try and think if she might have witnessed something or even saw something on TV that might be disturbing to her. See if you can get her to talk about what is happening in her dreams when she wakes up.

 

[holycow]

May I just suggest some very nice CALMING music at bed time?

My DD was having problems sleeping. I found out she had her ipod in her ears all night and was listen to Miley and Demi ...UGH! no wonder she had night mares.

I now make her listen to calming music and I haven't had a problem since.
Good luck your poor little DD sounds anxious over something whether it be school or friends, day care? Something.

HUGS TO YOU! You aren't a bad mom!

 

[ccgirl]

Thank you all so much for your quick responses. You don't know how much they are appreciated. The Assessment center is made up of social workers who assess the child and then refer them out to the best treatment providers. We talked as a family with the social worker who really was wonderful. Nothing traumatic has happened in her life (that I am aware of). She asked my DD about her nightmares and she said she didn't want to talk about them. I asked if she could draw a picture. Boy was the picture scary. It was a man with red eyes and black hair coming out of a forest. She says he comes out of the ground during her dreams. Poor thing - I would be scared too. She hasn't watched anything like that at my house but she does have play dates so I'm not sure if she watched something scary on T.v. The assessment center gave us the name of a Psy.D for neuropsych testing and then a name of a LICSW for therapy (for the anxiety). I just wan't sure if this was a "normal" course of development for a child her age or if it could be a psychological thing like a bi-polar disorder or something like that (I really don't think it is that since her behavior/performance in school has always been great). Thank you all for sharing your experiences too. I guess I will go forward with making the appointments. If anyone else has any other experience with this, please feel free to chime in. Thank you all again.

 

[HM]

My daughter used to wake up in the middle of the night and want to sleep with us. We let her have a pallet on the floor near our bed to sleep on. It seemed to make things better for her to be close to us. She didn't have the nightmares like your child did, but I'd look at this as one thing to try.

 

[mickeyboat]

Have you taken her to her pediatrician? Sounds like night terrors to me. I think these can be a product of sleep apnea, which can be caused by large tonsils and adenoids. Does she snore? If she isn't getting the proper rest, of course she will act out during the day.

Good luck to you. It's scary and difficult when your child is hurting and you can't help.

Denae

 

[luvmy3]

Have you taken her to her pediatrician? Sounds like night terrors to me. I think these can be a product of sleep apnea, which can be caused by large tonsils and adenoids. Does she snore? If she isn't getting the proper rest, of course she will act out during the day.

Good luck to you. It's scary and difficult when your child is hurting and you can't help.

Denae

I was thinking the same thing. Start with the ped, if they think something else is going on and think she should be evaluated the they can refer you to a psychologist.
When my ds was having his anxiety issues I went to his ped first. I knew(well I was pretty sure) he didn't have any ADHD issues but that was the first thing that was ruled out. I had to fill out a weekly log of his behavior at home and also the teacher had one too. I'm not exactly how the process works but I would guess that is usually the first thing kids are tested/evaluated before making a diagnosis of anything else. I wouldn't worry too much about ADHD, until after you saw a psychologist and see what they say. Hugs to you and your dd. Don't beat yourself up you are doing the right thing by taking the steps to help her and you will get to the bottom of it.

 

[ccgirl]

We did try to let her sleep in our room on the floor on a blow up mattress during the warmer nights when we had the A/C on (there isn't a unit in her room). The kicker is...that didn't help either. She still woke up many times. She does not snore and has already had her adenoids out. This is our second bout of sleeplessness with her. The first bout was due to medical (she needed tubes in her ears and her adenoids removed). She didn't start sleeping thru the night until she was 4 1/2. I spoke to her pediatrician who suggested the assessment center. They feel it is more psychological than medical. You hit the nail on the head...my heart is breaking knowing my DD is hurting.

 

[J/T Gramdma]

I agree about the music to calm her before bed. We moved into a new house when my DGS was 5/6 [he lived with us]. He started having night mares and did not want to sleep in his room. After talking to him, we found out he had info that we knew he did not learn from us. He talking about an Indian that died and was stuck in a tree. [it was a common way to bury a man] Indian history. He said this Indian talked to him when he was trying to sleep. My point is that we gave him a cd player and put a Disney tape with the various book/movie on a tape that the Disney store used to sell . It definitely helped and the fights about going to bed stopped. Maybe you could do something similar.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am at a loss of what to do. I thought I would get "lucky" and maybe someone here has been though this. A few months ago my DD 6 1/2 started waking up many times a night, sometimes upwards of 8 just hysterical and unconsolable. She definitely seemed scared of something. I never let her sleep with me and always just walked her right back to her own bed. Now, her behavior is starting to suffer. I'm not sure if it is the chicken or the egg with the sleep deprivation. Anyway, she goes from good to bad in a split second. She is running around screaming how she hates herself and hates everyone. Then, 5 minutes later she is as sweet as pie and asking to try her new dress on. I brought her to a Kids Assessment center. They want her tested for ADHD and possibly medicated. However, she has no issues focusing/behaving in school and I have even asked the teacher. My heart is just breaking for my daughter and I'm not sure what to do. She is my oldest so I am not sure if this behavior is "normal". I just feel like such a failure as a parent. Could someone please shed some light on this. Many thanks.

Yes, I can help you.

Currently my 12yodd is on Lexapro for anxiety/depression and seeing a counselor. We started the meds around March and the counseling 3 weeks ago.

Running around screaming that she hates herself and hates everyone is not normal.

I would prefer that you get advice from a pediatrician and go and see a psychiatrist. You need to get the anxiety/depression tackled before you even worry about ADD. That would be secondary.

Sleep deprivation is very common with anxiety/depression, it is a vicious cycle. The first thing my dd noticed was that she got SLEEP. Now we are working on a proper sleep schedule. In fact that was the first "assignment" in counseling. It makes sense, since lack of sleep amplifies your emotions.

Today she will tell you that she did not realize how anxious and depressed she was. It got pretty bad. She is working on her quirks and changing her thinking with counseling.

Bottom line is to go and get help for her.

 

[clarabelle]

There are some relaxation CDs that may help while you are working on getting her some treatment
(my dds have both had some anxiety -one bad enough for treatment)

Do a search for guided meditations for children -they have some on I-tunes and some on amazon. One in particular I remember was called "Indigo Dreams"

Good luck with your DD -parenting is so hard. One of the best things about the Dis -is that you learn everyone has their struggles- you are not alone.