Help, need snarky answers

[figment52]

I work on one floor, my boss on the floor above. The same couple of people will ask me if he's there now. I need a new answer other than the one I've been giving: "I don't know".

I thought of looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds and then say "hmm, can't quite see". Darn, our building didn't put in those convenient glass floors/ceilings so that I could see.

And if I sarcastically say that I'll run right up & see, one person inparticular will think I'm serious & expect me to do it.

Help, I need some good answers, not too nasty.

"The crystal ball didn't come with the office"

"The transplant team hasn't called yet with a pair of eyes with xray vision"

"I signed up for that class to improve my physic/ESP skills but it has been on the schedule yet"

And the oldie but goodie - "It's not my day to watch him"