It's by John Rosemond, Director of the Center for Affirmative Parenting. He's a psychologist and believes in parents being parents and not friends of their kids. This is what he wrote in the column:
TOILET TRAINING MUST START EARLY
The longer parents wait after 24 months, the harder it will be
Is it easier to house-train a 6-month-old puppy or a 1-year-old dog? The puppy, right? If you wait until the dog is a year old, you will have the devil to pay, and you may be dealing with a dog who just doesn't seem to "get it" for several years or more. Most people understand that waiting too long to house-train a puppy is going to create problems. Why do many of those same folks not understand that the same applies to a human being?
Historical and cross-cultural data clearly indicate that the "season" for toilet training is between 15 and 24 months. Furthermore, the longer one waits after 24 months to initiate training, the harder it will be for parent and child. Fifty years ago, more than 9 out of 10 American children were trained before their second birthdays -- on time, in other words.
That was before a grandfatherly pediatrician convinced parents that toilet training was fraught with apocalyptic psychological ramifications and convinced them that given time, children would train themselves.
Now parents wait and wait and wait, counting "readiness signs" and suggesting to their children that perhaps they'd like to at least make the attempt. "No? All right then, but when you think you'd like to try, let me know, okay?"
The grandfatherly pediatrician alluded to above maintains that toilet training below age 2 requires "force." Wrong again! If a child is not trained during toilet training's season, and becomes what is known as "toileting-resistant," it will require force to accomplish what should have been accomplished before -- in some cases, years before.
A year or so ago, while flying from somewhere to somewhere else, my seatmate and I began talking. He asked what I did and I told him. He began sharing with me some problems he and his wife were having with their 4-year-old son, one of which was the child's refusal to use the toilet. The 4-year-old was still in diapers. He asked my advice.
I told him that he and his wife should first get rid of the diapers, pull-ups, and any other evidence of the problem. The child should walk around the house wearing only thin cotton pants (not absorbent training pants!) and a T-shirt until his education was complete. Meanwhile, they should pump him full of water. I emphasized water, as opposed to sugar-sweetened drinks, including fruit juice.
A timer should be set to go off every hour, on the hour, at which time the child should be directed/taken to the bathroom and told he cannot come out until he has produced a significant amount of waste of one sort or another.
Furthermore, I said, accidents should result in the child being sent to his room, which should be "cleansed" of his favorite playthings and where he is to wait until the potty bell next rings. In this instance, when he produces, he goes back to his room until the bell rings again. And so on. The father listened intently, but I wasn't sure if he thought I was nuts or on to something.
A few months later, he sent me this e-mail: "You may remember sitting next to the dad who complained about his 4-year-old son's toileting problems. You were so right about the `cold turkey' thing. To make a long story short, I spoke to my wife on the phone right after our flight and told her what you had said.
"That evening, while I was still away, she began the program. When the bell rang, she took him to the bathroom and told him he couldn't come out until he'd done something, and the something had to more than just a `piddle.' Meanwhile, she was pumping him full of water, as you had advised. She even told him that if he hadn't gone by bedtime, she'd put his sleeping bag in there.
It took him 4 hours of standing in the bathroom with nothing to do before he gave in. Anyway, it worked, and he was incredibly proud of himself. He hasn't had a problem since. Amazing that something we'd struggled with for two years was over with in one night."
Please note, dear reader, that the "force" in question did not create a psychological issue; rather, it eliminated one.
John Rosemond
) He refused diapers and because it was such a fear thing there just want anything I could do except wait for him to grow out of it.. I finally caught him once just before he went and got him to sit on the potty and he suddenly discovered it didnt hurt....it went on for about 4 months, but BOY was it tough while it lasted.
, but your own kids know what your pressure buttons are. But, when someone else is training them, it's a new ballgame for them. My mom had to do that with my sister and I kinda did that with my son. In my son's case, I hadn't really pushed it too much, but we had a week away from home with our daughter in the hospital, so my sister (who was a SAHM at the time) had to keep him for us. So she just went ahead and finished training him for us. Kept him on his toes. (we think he may have thought that we'd given him to her, not just spent time away because of his sister)
