You're completely right! WDW is sooooo much work.
My advice:
DON'T go at Christmas/New Year's -- it is the most crowded time of year to go to WDW. Is it possible that you could go in early December? The Christmas decorations are up,
MVMCP is available, the Candlelight Processional is available, and the Osbourne Christmas Lights will be up at MGM. Plus, it's Value Season, so will cost a fraction of the price of Holiday Season for the resort and crowds are much lower.
If you don't like what you've been doing, then do something different. You didn't mention the age of your DD, but would your DD and DH be willing to go to the parks one day without you while you have a relaxing spa day at GF? How about skipping some of the rides/shows/attractions that you don't like. Consider splitting up for a little "me" time.
I'd also consider making DH and DD more in charge of some planning. Even my three year-old can tell me that he wants to have dinner with Pooh AND Mickey on our upcoming trip.
If you've got the time and money, you may want to consider going on a cruise after doing some days at WDW. There are several cruises that leave out of Port Canaveral and/or Fort Lauderdale. Cruises, IMO, are much more relaxing than WDW.
I hope this helps!