Maleficent Lives
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 48
Hello everyone. I have a resident hawk in my neighborhood and it needs a name. Currently I call him HAWK! but he is hero and needs a more creative name. I figured, "What better place to seek help than the boards?"
Background:
HAWK! has been hanging around our neighborhood for a while, but I never noticed him specifically. What I did notice was my resident snake, Snakebert. Creative, I know, but villains get stupid names on my property.
Snakebert has had it out for me since I cut off part of his tail with my lawn mower. His only goal in life is to embarrass me in front of my neighbors, which he does quite well. All his has to do is show his ugly mug and I scream something like "Yee tee tee pehta haw naw!" Roughly translated that means "Holy frack!" or in the older translations "I hope my neighbors don't mind seeing a grown man cry."
I recently tilled a space for my vegetable garden. I laid down newspaper to help prevent the grass and weeds from growing back, figuring that I could move it later and plant my seeds when I had time. Well, tonight I had time so I started pulling up the papers and who do you think was underneath waiting to make me soil my pants? Yeah, Snakebert
. With his nearly healed tail and those beady eyes.
We stare each other down for a good ten minutes, then I start throwing things at him because my seeds aren't going to sow themselves, and I need him gone. I briefly consider taking his head, but it is so revolting to see them writhe after they have died. Apparently it is illegal to fire my shotgun in city limits (really?), plus I would still have to dispose of the body. So I opt to shoo him from a healthy distance. He slithers away toward my neighbor's yard... and the pitcher of water that I brought out to drink from while I was working. Crud, now that is going to have to stay out here until I can't remember why I never took it in.
I started sowing the seeds and was thinking about Snakebert and how to get rid of him. Then I thought "Gee, it would be really nice if a bird swooped down and just gobbled him righ-" when I heard SWOOP, THUD. In my mind, Snakebert had just grown several feet (appendages and size) and was getting ready to exact his revenge. I turned around, terrified
, but there was HAWK! He took off, Snakebert in talon and attempted to feast on him from his power pole perch, but alas Snakebert escaped. He landed two houses away on the other side of a privacy fence, but hopefully this means he is gone for good
.
Short story long,
HAWK! is a hero and deserves a name that befits such valiant deeds. The name Fred is taken by the friendly spiders that eat the bugs that fly into my house. What've you got?
Background:
HAWK! has been hanging around our neighborhood for a while, but I never noticed him specifically. What I did notice was my resident snake, Snakebert. Creative, I know, but villains get stupid names on my property.
Snakebert has had it out for me since I cut off part of his tail with my lawn mower. His only goal in life is to embarrass me in front of my neighbors, which he does quite well. All his has to do is show his ugly mug and I scream something like "Yee tee tee pehta haw naw!" Roughly translated that means "Holy frack!" or in the older translations "I hope my neighbors don't mind seeing a grown man cry."
I recently tilled a space for my vegetable garden. I laid down newspaper to help prevent the grass and weeds from growing back, figuring that I could move it later and plant my seeds when I had time. Well, tonight I had time so I started pulling up the papers and who do you think was underneath waiting to make me soil my pants? Yeah, Snakebert
. With his nearly healed tail and those beady eyes.We stare each other down for a good ten minutes, then I start throwing things at him because my seeds aren't going to sow themselves, and I need him gone. I briefly consider taking his head, but it is so revolting to see them writhe after they have died. Apparently it is illegal to fire my shotgun in city limits (really?), plus I would still have to dispose of the body. So I opt to shoo him from a healthy distance. He slithers away toward my neighbor's yard... and the pitcher of water that I brought out to drink from while I was working. Crud, now that is going to have to stay out here until I can't remember why I never took it in.
I started sowing the seeds and was thinking about Snakebert and how to get rid of him. Then I thought "Gee, it would be really nice if a bird swooped down and just gobbled him righ-" when I heard SWOOP, THUD. In my mind, Snakebert had just grown several feet (appendages and size) and was getting ready to exact his revenge. I turned around, terrified
, but there was HAWK! He took off, Snakebert in talon and attempted to feast on him from his power pole perch, but alas Snakebert escaped. He landed two houses away on the other side of a privacy fence, but hopefully this means he is gone for good. Short story long,
HAWK! is a hero and deserves a name that befits such valiant deeds. The name Fred is taken by the friendly spiders that eat the bugs that fly into my house. What've you got?
