Help me learn to save money?

[nu2dis]

I grew up very very poor. I mean, not eating for part of the month, electricity often being turned off kind of poor. Honestly, I never learned to save money cause there was no money to save. Every penny went to the very basics. So when I got married, we had alot more money. Overall, we are fairly well off. The problem is is that I pittle away money like its going out of style. Its on little things and I really want to be able to save our money to work on our home and go on trips and adopt again. I have no idea how to even begin to really save money. I know it sounds stupid, but I dont know how to budget for food? How much should I spend on a family of 4 (I really prefer healthier foods and it seems like Whole Foods costs alot). Do you cook in advance? Any sites or books on how to begin all this? Any tips? Any advice that you all could pass on would be so helpful.

I know, I am very very slow!

Thanks!

 

[Maddykins06]

The dollarstretcher.com has some good ideas.

I have a certain amount directly deposited into our savings account each month. It's easier not to spend it when you don't have it or have access to it.

I set up a little game with myself on my Excel budget spreadsheet trying to get a little lower each month on variable expenses (groceries, gas, & miscellaneous).

Keep at it & GOOD LUCK! You can do this!

 

[nu2dis]

Thanks I forgot to mention that budgeting and thinking about money actually gives me feelings of panic...really! Its almost funny

 

[kacaju]

start slowly, it is very hard whem you have never been taught.
First off, are you current on all of your bills?
Do you have any credit cards with balances? If so how much do you pay monthly?

First things first. Take the month of July (since it just started) and don't worry about a budget just yet. Spend the month writing down every single penny you spend. Cash, Check, debit card or credit card. Write EVERYTHING down, also your bills.
Once you have this information you can start to work on a budget for the month of Aug.

Once you have everything written for a month you can do a budget.
For example

Total income for July was $3000

Mortgage or rent $1500
utilities $150
cell phone $100
cable $50
car $200
food $300
cc payment $200
misc $200
all that equals= $2700

Where is the $300?? That would be what you would/should be putting into a saving account.

If by the end of the month you have $0, then in order to save you need to look over everything you spent money on and see what you can cut back on for the next month.
If you run out of money before the end of the month and are using a credit card, then you need to really sit down with your dh and really look into why you are spending more then you bring home.

Does this make sense??

Good luck....if you have never learned to budget it is a bit overwhelming at first. I know, I have been there myself.
You can do this!!!

 

[Schmoodle]

Money can be very emotional. I'm sure especially so when someone has had childhood experiences like yours. It depends a lot on the cost of living where you are - I'm in MD, and I budget $500/ mo for groceries for a family of 5. We eat a very healthy diet. It's really trial and error and finding what works for you. Here are some of my strategies:

I NEVER shop at Whole Paycheck, er Foods. I get most of my staples from Aldi's (the best thing that ever happened to my grocery budget). I hit Trader Joe's about once a month for nuts, cheese, and a couple other things we are addicted to there. I do buy milk from a local dairy because I like my kids to have fresh, hormone-free milk, and the quality is so much better. Also I buy meat from a local source for the same reasons, but they run sales, so that helps. I hit the farmer's market heavily in the summer, and do some gardening.
Also,
We do vegetarian meals a couple of times a week.
We eat a lot of vegetables, beans, oatmeal, eggs, healthy cheap food.
I cook from scratch, eating out is a big treat, and I stay away from processed/prepared foods. I don't keep junk, soda, etc. in the house.
I usually cook double meals and freeze half for a busy night or stick it in the fridge for leftovers later in the week. The crock pot is very helpful also, as both DH and I work full time.

Hope some of these ideas are helpful!

 

[nu2dis]

Thanks so much for all the fantastic advice!

We live in Houston. I think some confusion is my husband takes care of the fixed bills and I take the other things (food, clothes, vacations, etc). But he also spends from my account. Aug - June we stay on budget or we save. July is our bad month, we always take a big vacation at the end of June and spend all the way into July. Its a bad habit, but we only get one vacation a year with my husband's sons. My husband gets a bonus in Aug and we usually pay off our one credit card and pay down a lloan we took from family for adopting our daughter and a medical loan we had to take.

Ok, I will write everything down, make my husband help. He avoids talking about money cause he knows I panic. Even if it isnt the same, I still react very strong to budget problems. Its like i always feel like there wont be money for food, even if things are just a little tight.

Schmoodle, can you share some of the things your kids really like to eat? I have been depending too much on prepared "organic: foods from whole paycheck LOL

 

[PHXscuba]

The best things I've done for my food budget to eat healthy without wasting food or money:

1. Menu. I sat down and figured out all of the main-dishes we liked or were eating for dinner. It worked out to almost three weeks' worth of meals, so I doubled up a couple favorites to round it out. Now when I shop I know what I am going to be eating the next few weeks (with a little flexibility) so when salmon went on a great sale this week, I bought a hunk for Sunday and froze three more for next couple months. Same thing with tomato sauce, hamburger buns, shredded chesse, etc.

2. Couponing and shopping the ads. It's not for everyone, takes some time to feel like it's making a difference.

3. Produce market. I found a good local one and go every couple weeks. We eat the most perishable stuff first (like berries) then work our way through the rest. When I'm down to apples and carrots, it's time to go again.

Money can be a very emotional topic, whether you have none or a lot. It's going to take more than a couple (uncomfortable) conversations to slowly change habits and make your money work for you. Good for you to be doing this on your own initiative!

PHXscuba

p.s. On "frittering": I found that giving myself a small fixed "allowance" every month to spend on soda, lip gloss, snacks, books, etc., removed the guilt I felt on spending money on myself, while limiting how much I spent.

 

[lisajl]

Hey nu2dis. I grew up poor too. Then when I got married almost 25 years ago (in Houston), we had some money and we spent it.
Bad idea.

Nowadays, I hate spending our money. I don't really budget for food, it is way too hard with three kids (23, 15 and 12). The 15 year old is 6'1" and eats all the time...he is as skinny as they come!

What I do is look for the sales. I then go through all my coupons. I try to match the sales with the coupons. That always saves us money.
I don't buy things we don't need.
I don't know how old you are but when we were young we accumulated a lot of stuff. Now I look around at all these dust collectors and think...geesh..what a waste of money.

Good luck...I am sure you will do fine. Start small like the previous poster said, it will all come together.

Lisa

 

[nu2dis]

Ok, stupid question...where would one get coupons? I know newspapers have them but they come with sooooo much ... other stuff. Is there anywhere else you can get coupons?

 

[Schmoodle]

sure nu, I'd be glad to share.
In the summer we do a lot of grilling or eat cold stuff (No AC in the kitchen and I don't like to heat up the house), they like 7 - Layer Salad, Chef Salad, Tuna Pasta Salad (or couscous), Salade Nicoise, hoagies.
For cooked foods, off the top of my head, they like Spaghetti, Salmon Cakes, Taco Casserole, Mac & Cheese (homemade is simple), Chicken Divan, Chicken Cheesesteak Saute, quiche, omelets, Cream of Broccoli Soup, homemade pizza, cheeseburgers, meatloaf, stuffed baked potatoes.
They're pretty typical, they like kid food, and I have to work to get the veggies in them, but in most of the above I can get the veggies in - omelets, quiches, pizza, soup, spaghetti sauce, and meatloaf are great for hiding the veg!

Let me know if you'd like a recipe for any of these.

Oh, and I agree about one of the above posters - Once a week I plan menus and do my shopping. The first thing I do is look in my cabinets to see what I need to use up before buying more and plan around that and sales.
And FWIW, I buy local as much as possible, but I really don't worry about organic. I think local is a lot more important, and if you talk to get to know the farmer's at your market, you'll know which are using pesticides - a lot of them don't, but they don't want to go to the expense of getting certified "organic." I really think the organic stuff at the big groceries is overpriced and kind of a scam. Why buy organic strawberries for a fortune, if they are shipped from California (I'm on the East coast), when I can get something fresh from the farmer up the road? It's not environmentally sound.

 

[kacaju]

coupons can be found online, but first check with your local stores to see if they take online coupons.
Newspapers are a great source, yes there is lots of other *junk* in the Sunday papers, but you can get great coupons as well.

 

[mjantz]

I'm in TX as well. If you have a Kroger nearby they have a really great organic foods section, complete with a frozen foods area & a dairy area as well. I've found great deals on organic milk there several times.
I don't cook in advance but I do plan meals a day or two before. I try & rotate chicken & beef or pork meals. I find if I'm not careful we'll have a week of chicken & DH doesn't like chicken as much as I do. I try & keep on schedule in mind & think about if I should do something in the crockpot or a quick meal or something quick & easy like a frozen family meal (no more than once a week).

 

[deanainnc]

We started using Angel Food Ministries back in April. We use it as a filler and it really helps my food budget.

 

[Mickey1Fan]

http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/debt.htm

A helpful site. Gail talks about percentages of what should be spent on various items.

She also explains living on cash rather than debit or credit cards - love it and use it.

 

[TiffanyK]

Here's a list of Low Cost Meals with recipes and pictures. I find that we save money by not eating out. Just having a menu plan so that we don't have to grab a hamburger from a fast food place saves a lot of money. For us, that means using the crockpot a lot on busy nights, or even packing our dinner to go.

 

[defendthehill]

I agree with a bunch of PP's. We menu out two weeks at a time and shop for those things. We normally hit the store once inbetween our every two week cycle for some fresh veggies and fruit but that is about it.

As for saving money. One thing that really helped me was direct deposit. My paycheck never touches my hands. I have a certain $$ amount automatically put into a savings account and the rest into my checking for my normal bills etc... it made it so easy to save that way. It is like I don't even have to save after it is set up.....it just happens automatically.

 

[tinkarooni]

Hey OP! You are at the right place, boy can some of us stretch a buck. I wanted to comment on the panic you have about budgeting. If you can change that panic into excitement you will certainly go farther. As PP stated make it a game. Set a budget and than see if you can beat it. Than try it again. Once you get a system down you will find excitement in seeing the savings rack up. Every little bit thrills me, whether it's a buck off of meat at the grocery or getting the electric bill down. I totally agree with others, outline all your bills. I use a notebook, one page for each month. I know exactly where all my bill money goes. I know how much my electrical bill was last December just by flipping back some pages. That's not to say we don't lose some $$ too, we all do. I have a set food budget and sometimes we go over (growing 11 year old boy ) But I know I went over and that's OK, this is real life. I save when and where I can with the occassional planned splurge. It's a lot easier to splurge when you have the cash in hand and really know that you can afford it. I know because my little notebook tells me I can.

Keep surfing the web too, you can learn a great deal by getting ideas from other folks like these. Best of luck!

 

[pearlieq]

Why not decide on an amount for savings and just treat it like any other bill? Decide to set aside $100/month in a savings account and just "pay" it just like you pay the electric and the mortgage.

Some people really aren't in to nitty-gritty budgets, but do well when they just take the savings right off the top and adjust their lives around it.

This works especially well if you can get the money sent to savings via direct deposit or automatic transfer. That way you never even see it, you just learn to live on your "new" take home money.

Good luck!

 

[cwasil]

I'm relatively new to budgetting also but I think Kacaju hit it right on the head. First thing you need to know is what you spend on. From there, you can work on lowering your costs.

As for couponing, I normally save about 33-50% on my grocery bill by marrying up coupons with store sales. Granted we don't eat organic foods most of the time but also don't have slim jims and twinkies for dinner. I get my coupons from the Sunday paper, couponbug.com and couponmom.com. You'll need to find out if your grocery store will take online coupons though.

As for frittering money away...my wife and I each get an "allowance" each month to "fritter" away on whatever we want and the other isn't allowed to say a word about it. When it's gone though it's gone and no more of that nonsense. We account for every dollar of income that comes in every month and it always has a home whether it's for bills, for saving or for stupid things. We always seem to fail when we have money with no name on it...that is when we spend it on exceptionally useless and ridiculous items.

It really depends on how you two are with money in determining how deep you need to go with budgets. I hate to say it, but my wife would spend every nickle we earned in two days if we did not have a very strict budget set up. Every situation is a bit different though.

 

[secretpantssam]

I agree with pps. Just set up an automatic saving plan and treat it like a regular expense. That's what I do. That way you always save and you don't even have the money to tempt you.