help me figure this out please

[binny]

every day after dropping my kids off at school I see this little old lady walking down the street. Not too bad and Go lady. So that is where the normal ends.


Everyday I see her and she is carrying what looks like a spanking paddle.
Now without getting into a debate on the pros and cons of spanking please help me figure out WHY she is carrying this thing!

Here are the facts.
1) she walks alone, no people
2) no dogs, cats or iguanas walking with her
3) she is little
4) she is older, I would guess in her mid to late 70's
5) she is out there every day at 9 AM walking

My theories thus far:

1) she is a really mean old lady and beats up on anything in her path
2) she babysits kids and walks to work everyday
3) she is carrying it for protection ( is she planning on spanking an attacker?)
4) she is into things that cant be posted on this board


ok help me out. Im about to pull over and ask her but havent for fear she might use that thing on me!

 

[Beth76]

I'm guessing number 3 on your list of theories. Although I have to laugh that you mentioned iguanas. There's an older man that lives somewhere near that walks his massively ugly dog around the neighborhood and also his iguana rides on his shoulders. And I never even noticed the iguana (it's about 4 feet long) until a friend told me about it.

 

[Frantasmic]

What you call a paddle is really a hall pass and she is getting lost each day. You should offer to drive her back where she is walking from.

 

[NMAmy]

:
3) she is carrying it for protection ( is she planning on spanking an attacker?)

Oh, binny, I really have no idea but just the thought of this made me laugh out loud! You know, if something works for you, you stick with it. Spanking deters crime, you know!

Please stop and ask her! Now I'm really curious. My first thought was maybe it has one of those balls attached to the paddle and she uses it for exercise.

 

[Stitchfans]

My guess would be your #3 theory also.

 

[miss missy]

Sounds like protection to me. Maybe something happened to her before... I don't know, I don't think mean, I think scared. Poor lady

 

[binny]

I am NOT stopping to ask her! I may con my son into doing it though



I swear it is just like a spanking paddle that my friends mom had on her wall when we were growing up. It had some kind of nonsense written on it like " This hurts me more than it hurts you"






yeah no one ever buys that

 

[binny]

What you call a paddle is really a hall pass and she is getting lost each day. You should offer to drive her back where she is walking from.

 

[edcrbnsoul]

To quote Jasper from the Simpsons EP The PTA Disbands

Talkin' out of turn... that's a paddlin'.
Lookin' out the window.... that's a paddlin'.
Starin' at my sandals.... that's a paddlin'.
Paddlin' the school canoe... oh, you'd better believe that's a paddlin'.

 

[swanmom]

Are you sure it's a paddle for spanking? Maybe she's off to get her daily exercise............playing a spirited game of ping pong?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

When I first read this, I read she was walking & SPANKING A POODLE...

How about a pic?....

 

[Keli]

Actually it occurred to me that a something wide like a paddle may be more effective against threatening dogs than a stick if you are somewhat febble. You'll most likely hit what you swing at with a paddle. That's my guess anyway!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would go with the protection idea, especially against dogs. And knowing me, I would stop and ask her, keeping my distance, of course. I would say, "This is none of my business and you don't need to answer, but why do you carry around the paddle?". More than likely she would tell you and get a good laugh out of it. She might pull a gun and kill you, but it's unlikely. If that happens, of course, it wasn't my idea!!!!

 

[binny]

When I first read this, I read she was walking & SPANKING A POODLE...

How about a pic?....

that sounds like some new dance step "Yo! check it out Im spankin' the poodle"


actually that sounds kind of dirty too.



I am SO not stopping... not even to take a picture!



LOL @ pingpong





Im sure it probably is something like a paddle would be safer if she is attacked by dogs or something. That is the reasonable explanation.


Im just having so much fun trying to think of why else she might carry it.

 

[AprilShowers]

Maybe she's on her way back from walking some kids to school. She uses the paddle to keep the kids in line on the way!

 

[Todd&Copper]

Maybe she works at a frat house and brings the paddle home with her at night for safe-keeping (and to keep the boys from hazing pledges with it)?

 

[hydster]

Maybe she's a Grandma-atrix?

 

[pixie3]

Maybe she's on her way back from walking some kids to school. She uses the paddle to keep the kids in line on the way!

Thats what I thought; but, it's probably #5:
She's two fries short of a happy meal.

 

[Tigger By The Tail]

A retired nun who can't let go of the past ?

Boy do I have some experience there

 

[Frantasmic]

I wonder if the paddle holds a key to a post office box or something.