Help me convince my husband that we NEED this vacation!

[hkite]

My husband is building a house for us, while working full time at another job. As a result, he's gone from 7:30am-10:30pm. He doesn't work on the house on Wednesdays because he wants to see our 2 year old DD at least one evening a week. We take him dinner every night and spend weekends out there so we can see him.

Obviously, we really miss him and he's working himself way too hard. I have reserved rooms at CBR for Oct. 1-8, in hopes that I could convince him to take a vacation. He is resisting as he's afraid they won't have the house "sealed up" (roof on, windows in) by then. I can't change the reservations and make them later in the year as I got in on the free dining plan by booking these dates. But, I can still cancel them if we have to.

Does anyone have any cute ideas on how to convince him to go?

As a side note, I don't need input as to whether or not I should try to convince him, I KNOW he need(s a vacation.

 

[stacy6552]

ou're not going to like this one. But don't pressure him with an extra deadline. If he doesnt want to go then or isnt thrilled about the concept, dont do it. Go another time, when he can actually look forward to the trip with excitement.

 

[msmayor]

You may have to give up on the free dining part...

For now, I'd keep the reservation as long as you can cancel/reschedule without penalty.

Then, I suggest seeing if you can 'strike a deal' with your husband. See if he'd be willing to take a break and a vacation WHEN he gets the house sealed up, rather than IF.

He won't feel the pressure to get it done by a certain deadline, but instead will have something to look forward too once the house is built to a point where he's comfortable leaving it sit for a week.

This way, everyone is happy.

 

[hkite]

ou're not going to like this one. But don't pressure him with an extra deadline. If he doesnt want to go then or isnt thrilled about the concept, dont do it. Go another time, when he can actually look forward to the trip with excitement.

You're absolutely right, I wouldn't pressure him with a deadline. He sure doesn't need any more pressure. My husband is a complete workaholic and every time we've ever taken a vacation, I've had to force the issue. He's never looked forward to a vacation- even to Hawaii. But, he always has a great time once we get there and says he's glad he went. Once he gets the house sealed up, it will be something else. I'm trying to make him see that if the house isn't sealed up, it's still going to be there in a week (and won't be any worse for wear)!

We can't really afford to go unless we use our Delta Skymiles for free tickets and they are very limited as to what dates they have available. That's another reason why I wanted to go this week. I also don't want to go at a more crowded time of year.

You may be right that we'll have to reschedule for next year. I'm still going to keep our reservations until the middle of next month and see how things come along.

Keep the suggestions/opinions coming. I won't be offended.

 

[stacy6552]

Its not that youre not right about the lack of urgency of sealing the house. It will be there when you get back. But it sounds like your husband doesnt see it that way. We're talking about his perception, not being right or wrong. If you say you want to go and he says, "no" you have to respect that. He obviously would take you if he didnt see a problem, look at everything else he's doing to make you happy. Seriously, I would back off.

 

[hkite]

Its not that youre not right about the lack of urgency of sealing the house. It will be there when you get back. But it sounds like your husband doesnt see it that way. We're talking about his perception, not being right or wrong. If you say you want to go and he says, "no" you have to respect that. He obviously would take you if he didnt see a problem, look at everything else he's doing to make you happy. Seriously, I would back off.

LOL! You don't know my husband. It really isn't about the house not being sealed up, it's about his NEED to work non-stop, 24/7/365. If I didn't push him to take time off every once in a while, he'd never do it. So, it's not obvious that he'd take me if he didn't see a problem with it. BTW, he hasn't said "no". He just said he isn't convinced. This isn't something we're fighting about. I was just looking for some cute suggestions as to how to persuade him (aside from the obvious)

 

[florida-again]

...I did this for my boyfriend and let me just say he is NOT very romantic at all. He's not very easily moved emotionally but this really made him smile...

I sent him an email (but you could do a letter etc) with a list of moments and memories I'd near forgotten from our last trip. Little things that only we would think about, like what we ate in certain restaurants.

It worked better than I ever expected. I wasn't trying to convince him of anything actually but his reaction was such that I bet it would have worked if I was!

I know it sounds a really 'nothingy' thing, but his face as he read it was so happy, and he genuinely isn't that easily moved. It's rare to have that effect on him!

A lil bit of nostalgia may work a treat. It might put his mind back to how he felt on your last trip.

 

[hkite]

...I did this for my boyfriend and let me just say he is NOT very romantic at all. He's not very easily moved emotionally but this really made him smile...

I sent him an email (but you could do a letter etc) with a list of moments and memories I'd near forgotten from our last trip. Little things that only we would think about, like what we ate in certain restaurants.

It worked better than I ever expected. I wasn't trying to convince him of anything actually but his reaction was such that I bet it would have worked if I was!

I know it sounds a really 'nothingy' thing, but his face as he read it was so happy, and he genuinely isn't that easily moved. It's rare to have that effect on him!

A lil bit of nostalgia may work a treat. It might put his mind back to how he felt on your last trip.

Now, THAT'S the kind of suggestion I was looking for! We have such wonderful memories of our trip to Hawaii, which was the last vacation we took alone (without extended family). Plus, he really loved watching our daughter have fun the last time we went to Disney. He's also not easily moved by anything, but it's worth a shot. Thank you for the great idea!

 

[florida-again]

Glad you liked my idea Please let me know the outcome, I hope it has the desired affect.

The only further advice I have is to really dig deep and take your time. I was really careful writing my list, I didn't want to just write a list of memories that we talked about all the time anyway, or that were romantic to me but not necessarily to my boyfriend..... so I carefully tried to remember every day of our trip so that I ended up with a list of moments we hadn't talked about since our trip.

My end list wasn't by any means romantic to the untrained eye, it was mostly just funny little moments and things like that. But the key thing seemed to be that they were reminders of things we'd nearly forgotten and really evoked a feeling of nostalgia.

Good luck!!!!!!

 

[stemikger]

First let me say, Wow. What a guy.

Tell him that it is great that he is doing all this for your family, but what your family needs is to spend some time together and this vacation will be the time you guys need.

Tell him that tomorrow has no guarantees and your two year old is only two for a short time, tell him that he has to stop and smell the roses and make some wonderful memories with his family.

I usually go through this with my wife. I'm always the one willing to go, and she always resists it at first, until I wear her down. LOL.

Good Luck.

 

[teresajoy]

First let me say, Wow. What a guy.

Tell him that it is great that he is doing all this for your family, but what your family needs is to spend some time together and this vacation will be the time you guys need.

Tell him that tomorrow has no guarantees and your two year old is only two for a short time, tell him that he has to stop and smell the roses and make some wonderful memories with his family.

I usually go through this with my wife. I'm always the one willing to go, and she always resists it at first, until I wear her down. LOL.

Good Luck.

Oh gosh, I didn't expect to cry reading this thread. What you say is so true. They are little for so short a time, the next thing you know they are grown up (my son is 13, but it seems like he was just born, where did the years go?).

Heather, show him that picture of him holding Corey as an infant, and then have him take a good look at Corey now! They grow too fast!

Heather (the op) is my sister and they have such a wonderful and loving family. (I'm in the middle of hkite's Tree of Life picture holding Snow White )Her husband just adores their daughter and she him! I think this vacation would do wonders for his spirit! A week with his baby girl and wife with none of us pesky in-laws around!!! Just think about it!

 

[DisneyMom5]

Tell him that if he doesn't take the baby to WDW that his friend John will utilize all the strange weapons he owns to encourage him to take said trip!



We're going Aug. 20th. (free dining - no brainer for us!)
Wish we were going with you, but we have to work around John's school schedule.
(Did you know I posted here?)
PS - you will never regret staying on site!

 

[hkite]

Sarah!! I was wondering if I'd run into you here!! I thought you'd try to get in on the free dining.

Unfortunately, we're not going to be able to go in October. Henry said it would just add too much stress for him. So, we're working on going the first week in December instead. I'm hoping they come out with some good deals for that time of year. Of course, I still haven't convinced him that December is a good time, either. I know, I'll just go with you guys in August! I'm sure you won't even notice 2 more people with you!

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

snipped. . . My husband is a complete workaholic and every time we've ever taken a vacation, I've had to force the issue. He's never looked forward to a vacation- even to Hawaii. But, he always has a great time once we get there and says he's glad he went. Once he gets the house sealed up, it will be something else.

I haven't read the whole post but I just have to comment on this! I know exactly where you're coming from!!!

My DH is the same way!!!

It's like pulling teeth to get DH to take a vacation but once he gets there he is so glad we did it!! It's the getting him there that's the hard part!! I mean, we're the women of the house and we have our finger on the pulse of our family. Sometimes we're the only ones who know it's time for a break even if he doesn't want to listen!

And you're right, if he's anything like my husband, once he gets the house sealed up, it will be something else. Well, there is always more that could be done. I always tell DH, "You know when you die, it's not going to matter how many runs you did or how many jobs you completed (or never got around too). It's the time that you spent with your family and friends and the relationships you took the time with that will really matter."

I guess helping our husbands take the rest they need is our cross to bear.

Hope it all works out for you.

Now I'm on to read the rest of the post. . .

 

[DisneyMom5]

Sarah!! I was wondering if I'd run into you here!! I thought you'd try to get in on the free dining.

Unfortunately, we're not going to be able to go in October. Henry said it would just add too much stress for him. So, we're working on going the first week in December instead. I'm hoping they come out with some good deals for that time of year. Of course, I still haven't convinced him that December is a good time, either. I know, I'll just go with you guys in August! I'm sure you won't even notice 2 more people with you!

Well we do have a 15 passenger van! Early Dec. is our Huge Horrible Hurricane coming have to reschedule back-up plan. We were planning on Dec. 10th or so until the free dining came up. Still wouuld like to do the Disney Christmas thing sometime.
As it is, we will be there for Connor's birthday. He is pretty geeked. Have reservations for both Crystal palace and Chef Mickey's that day (Tad over board, but that's just how it worked out.)
Sorry you can't go in Oct., but free dining aside, Dec. should be value season.

 

[kizmac]

October is still a ways away.....I wouldn't cancel your ressies yet! The house might be further along than he figures by then. Especially since you got free dining. Sounds like you guys could really use that vacation. We did an additon on our house a couple years ago and it was wonderful to get away and forget about it for awhile! Good luck with whatever happens!

 

[DISUNC]

I'm with your husband on this one!!!! AS MUCH AS I LIKE GOING TO WDW!

However he has a VERY VALID point....Since he is building this house (I assume mostly by himself) and you live in Michigan where it gets very cold & snowy by November...IF he dont have the "house "sealed up" (roof on, windows in) by then"....the house can easily be destroyed in bad winter weather. Then all the work & Money you've put in is GONE!!!!!

This is not a "workoholic" issue at all, but a man playing "beat the clock!".
Let him finish the house...then make WDW together!

Thats my 2 cents!

 

[hkite]

I'm with your husband on this one!!!! AS MUCH AS I LIKE GOING TO WDW!

However he has a VERY VALID point....Since he is building this house (I assume mostly by himself) and you live in Michigan where it gets very cold & snowy by November...IF he dont have the "house "sealed up" (roof on, windows in) by then"....the house can easily be destroyed in bad winter weather. Then all the work & Money you've put in is GONE!!!!!

This is not a "workoholic" issue at all, but a man playing "beat the clock!".
Let him finish the house...then make WDW together!

Thats my 2 cents!

This is the 7th house we've built (I say "we" because I used to help quite a bit until we had our daughter). We have started building houses in October, so exposing it to the Michigan elements is not going to ruin anything. Builders up here build all year round, snow and all. He most likely will have it sealed up in October (he's almost there now), but we have decided to postpone until December, just to reduce his stress level.

As for letting him finish the house before he takes a vacation- he's building another house for a friend next Spring, getting the house we're living in ready to sell, finishing his grandparent's basement, and he may install a wood floor into a certain DISers living room. He's also always looking into other houses to rehab and sell. So, there really isn't a time when he doesn't have a project going. I know this is hard for some people to comprehend or believe, but it's true! The need for a vacation isn't what we're debating here, it's how to make him see that he needs one!

If you read the rest of the posts, you'll realize that my husband will have a reason not to take a vacation, no matter the time of year or situation. I'm sure there are women (and men) out there who can sympathize.

 

[DISUNC]

This is the 7th house we've built (I say "we" because I used to help quite a bit until we had our daughter). We have started building houses in October, so exposing it to the Michigan elements is not going to ruin anything. Builders up here build all year round, snow and all. He most likely will have it sealed up in October (he's almost there now), but we have decided to postpone until December, just to reduce his stress level.

As for letting him finish the house before he takes a vacation- he's building another house for a friend next Spring, getting the house we're living in ready to sell, finishing his grandparent's basement, and he may install a wood floor into a certain DISers living room. He's also always looking into other houses to rehab and sell. So, there really isn't a time when he doesn't have a project going. I know this is hard for some people to comprehend or believe, but it's true! The need for a vacation isn't what we're debating here, it's how to make him see that he needs one!

If you read the rest of the posts, you'll realize that my husband will have a reason not to take a vacation, no matter the time of year or situation. I'm sure there are women (and men) out there who can sympathize.

OK! Been there done that....when I was in my late 20's early 30's...I was the same way...so was many of my friends! The tought behind this is since your young you can handle the physical work...and strike while the irons hot! It's very common. Gotta make the $, have HUGE responsibilities.
Then when I got older (40plus) my attitude changed, and YES i live for my vacations.
My only suggestion would be to get one of his friends, someone who knows his type of business to talk to him "man to man" ( i know its sexist...but hell it works) telling him to cool down for a week or so. I have my best friend (known to be stubron) who sounds excatly like your husband...his wife always got me to talk him into doing things that where best for him.

Good luck