Help Inlaws 50th Anniversary

[runwad]

What do we get them for a gift considering the circumstances? She is in a nursing home with Alzheimers. Can't talk, doesn't hardly eat, doesn't know who anyone is FIL is absolutely devoted to her, he's up at the home pretty much 24/7 to the point of not having a life himself or being involved/interested in his grandchildren's life. We are going up and having a dinner and cake with them at the home but what about a gift? What do we get for a gift? I've done all kinds of picture/collage gifts in the past, they really don't have a lot of new pictures that haven't been used. Money doesn't really seem appropriate or enough maybe but dang I have no clue what else to do? Does anyone have any ideas in a situation like this? It's just immediate family us and my DH's sister and her family. There isn't anyone else to invite or have join us. I'm at such a loss as to what to do

 

[Gigi22]

Is there a way you could all chip in for some hours from a contract care worker to help with MIL's care in the nursing home? Where does your FIL live? Perhaps you could chip in to have someone mow the grass, clean his home or something?

 

[Snoozan]

I think I would do as the prior poster suggested - have someone come to help out your FIL at his home: housework, yardwork, handy man stuff. Or maybe get some meals together that can be frozen so when he is home, he doesn't have to think about cooking?

I'm sure this is something your MIL would approve of if she understood - she would like to know her husband of 50 years is still being taken care of.

 

[ShariVT]

I in laws are in the a simular situation and at first the only way to get my mil to do things for her self was to spend time at the nursing home with fil. At this point you spending time with him is more important and better then any gift. So dinner and cake is great but maybe someone could stay at the nursing home and with your mil and someone else could take dad out for the day or a few hours. It is a hard situation we have been living it for 20 years now and it doesn't get easier.

 

[HM]

For my parent's 50th anniversary last year, we made pins using those plastic round ones you can put a picture inside (AC Moore). We found a picture of them in their wedding attire and used that. Each of us wore the pin that day to the dinner we celebrated with them. They loved that special touch of remembrance. Maybe you could do something like that to make your dinner special too. I don't think an expensive present is appropriate for them.

I hope you can enjoy their day. My MIL has Alzheimer's as well and though my inlaws still travel to visit their children for weekends, she also really doesn't remember anyone anymore. It's a terrible thing. I feel for your family.

 

[runwad]

For my parent's 50th anniversary last year, we made pins using those plastic round ones you can put a picture inside (AC Moore). We found a picture of them in their wedding attire and used that. Each of us wore the pin that day to the dinner we celebrated with them. They loved that special touch of remembrance. Maybe you could do something like that to make your dinner special too. I don't think an expensive present is appropriate for them.

I hope you can enjoy their day. My MIL has Alzheimer's as well and though my inlaws still travel to visit their children for weekends, she also really doesn't remember anyone anymore. It's a terrible thing. I feel for your family.

Eww I like this thanks!! We do help FIL with the house and yard and he comes to our houses on the weekends for dinners, but doesn't stay long just enough to eat and go. DH and SIL go to the nursing home at least 4-5 times a week if not everyday. He feels he has to be there too so we couldn't go in his place. I just didn't know what to get them given the circumstances. Thanks

 

[disprincessatheart]

How about a new family portrait of the kids and grandkids? Maybe recreate their wedding flowers?

 

[MichelleinMaine]

Do you know if any music was played at their wedding, or were there special songs they liked when they were dating? (Or whenever, I guess.)

You could make a mixed CD (assuming songs are on itunes/etc). Just thinking I've seen stories where music is something Alzheimer patients "remember" even if they don't other things. (and might also be a nice walk down memory lane for your FIL.)