Help! I'm traveling with my non-planning, very slow moving, unmotivated parents

[cwnhokie]

We are going to Disney in May with my dad, his wife, dh, ds 2 and ds. My dad and his wife are two of the slowest moving people on the planet. The enjoy relaxing, drinking coffee, and smoking cigerettes. I've been addicted to planning for our trip and i am afraid I am going to get very frustrated when we get there and getting them moving is like getting water to run up hill. I just know there are certain things I want to see and want my kids to see and time is money. I have planned a lot of down time. I am trying to insist on taking two cars so that we can do seperate things and we can get a head start while they sleep in. It was their idea to go and they are paying for the place to stay, so I know I just need to relax. But how, now that I know all that there is to see and do! And thanks to these boards, the best way to do it.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

Let them know what your plans are and make it clear that they are welcome to join you at any time. If your plans are to be at the MK at 9:00, tell them that and ask if they wish to join you then are meet up later. If you all finish a meal and they want to sit and smoke, let them know where you will be for the next hour or so and move on. If you have PS plans, let them know and then if they are not there, enjoy your meal. Two year olds are not patient. OK neither am I but we traveled with BIL that is a lot like that and we made it work and had fun.

Don;t forget to slow down a little yourself too. You con NOT see it all.

Jordan's mom

 

[LovePug]

I agree with the above poster . Just because you are going together doesn't mean you have to do everything together. If they enjoy a slow pace and that's the way they enjoy their vacation (we move pretty slow ourselves ), let them choose what they'd like to do with you. You, on the other hand, enjoy what you'd like to do. With them being so different from you, you'll make yourselves crazy trying to stay together all the time.

 

[ladydancer]

Dh and I are going with our dd and her family and our ds and his family to WDW in April. I am the one doing all the planning as I have the most WDW experience.lol I am telling the group what time "I" will be at the bus stop in the morning, what "time" we have ps for meals. They are either there or there not. I will have an alternate plan to meet later if someone isn't there for our meet time. Or they can call us on our cell to let us know they have arrived late and where we are located.

Some people are just slow! You can't get them to speed up know matter what. Just let them move at there own pace and you at yours.

FYI...We are traveling with 2 smokers in our group and I have informed them they can't just light up anywhere in the parks. There are designated area's only for smoking. Having to keep stopping to find the area's for our 2 smokers to smoke is going to be annoying and a waste of time!

 

[Marseeya]

If they resist the idea of splitting up, how about investing in a set of two-way radios for the group so they'll feel like they're more in touch?

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I gave my ILs and my mother an itinerary of our parks, parades, PSs and such. They were welcome to join us if they desired. Most days they didn't do Early Entry but did meet us for our lunch ps and stayed with us for the rest of the day. It worked out well for everyone.

Lori

 

[powellrj]

we are a family of 5, and its rare that we ever stay together at any parks! Just plan a meeting place for later in the day and have each family do what makes them happy!
Dss and I love coaster and the faster rides and DH and DD like a slower pace so we just meet later. Many times we will even go to different parks and we usually don't have lunch together, but will always meet up for dinner!

 

[nygrl]

we went 2 years ago with my mother and step father and my step father decided he needed a wheel chair what a pain. splitting up was not an option for us so we just delt with it. it did slow us down and caused some problems on rides but we managed. you will have fun no matter what. it is disney world!!!!! try not to stress

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

I can relate!!! I would do as others have mentioned---give them a time and place to meet. If they show up, great. If not, go have fun without them.

Confession---I usually tell people we are meeting a time 15 minutes before we really need to leave. Then, I can wait on them for 10 minutes or so before I give up on them and leave

 

[leebee]

RENT THE SECOND CAR!!! Lesson learned in one very long, frustrating, wonderful trip with me, DD (6), Dsis and BIL and niece (1.5), BIL's mother, father, niece (9) and nephew (12). We would not have been able to survive without the second vehicle. True, we wouldn't have fit in one vehicle, but still...travelling with just Dsis, BIL, and nieces (now two of 'em), we find the 2nd car a necessity. REMIND THE SMOKERS THEY ARE GOING TO A (mostly) NON-SMOKING PLACE. And gently point out that it's really unhealthy for you and your kids to hang out in the smoking area. Perhaps plan ahead for smoke breaks...they can hang in the smoking area while you ride somehting they have no interest in. TAKE INTO ACCOUNT EVERYONE'S EATING HABITS!!! In our extended family trip above, the most fighting came about over meals. Sis's plan was big b'fast, small lunch around 2ish, dinner after we left the parks for the evening OR small b'fast, big sit down lunch, small, snacky supper. Everyone thought this was good, but BIL's parents needed their sit-down dinner at 5 or they were intolerable. 12yo nephew ate ALL the time- waiting for counter service is like waiting for smokers, plus younger kids wanted snacks too which meant nobody was hungry for when the meals were planned, except for my DSis, who became cranky when nobody wanted to eat as scheduled! BE GENTLY CONSIDERATE WITH SUGGESTIONS!!! Let them think you are recommending they join you at lunch so they can sleep in and not have to get up at the crack of dawn on their vacation- when in reality this is YOUR time with YOUR family to do what YOU want! Finally REMEMBER that there is no way, regardless of how strictly you follow a touring plan, that you will see everything! Your first encounter with a single character (to say nothing of Snow White with all 7 dwarves) will throw the day's schedule to H-E- double toothpicks and back! A big part of Disney is the *being there*, soaking up the atmosphere and savoring the moment. If you love it as much as I do, you'll definitely go back again, even though right now you probably think this is a "once in a lifetime" trip. (And if you hate it, it won't matter if you saw everything or not!)

 

[sanibelover]

Talk about EVERYTHING before you go. Makes sure everyone knows what to expect. (Including you - remember, they may think that you are the pain.........not everyone thinks a vacation planned down to the second is fun) I don't mean to sound harsh, but you sound like these people are going to ruin your vacation. If you go into this vacation with the attitude that they are going to wreck everything, I guarantee you that's what will happen.

On the other had, if you get all of the expectations out on the table, you can discuss and compromise. We (Me, DH, 3DS)travel all of the time with my parents, and the times that get ugly are when there are expectations which haven't been discussed - do not assume anything. I agree with the other posters about doing your own thing for a while and meeting for a meal or a show. 100% togetherness doesn't usually work, but don't spring it on them when you arrive that you don't want to spend all day every day with them.

 

[Kallison]

When I go to Disney I do my own thing, you can either follow along or eat my dust. My parents go along until they get tired, and then they leave. DH's Mom can't find her way out of a paper bag (she could figure out how to get from Epcot to the Boardwalk resort). So we took her back to the room at night. On our first family trip in 98, she an FIL dawdled, hid to smoke cigarettes, complained about where we ate and generally ruined my trip. I won't let that happen again, it's my way or the hi-way.

 

[crisi]

We took my MIL a year ago....brought her sister too. The idea was that with her sister along, they could split off and do the things they were interested in, while my kids and us did the things we were interested in. Worked great. We did spend a few days together (what was she going to WDW for if not to enjoy her grandchildren), but once everyone had ridden Dumbo and done some of the basics - we split up. We met each evening for dinner.

Splitting up is great....and I think can be framed in such a way that they never suspect you are ditching them. "Mom and Dad, I really want you to enjoy your vacation, but the kids are so excited that I think we will need to have earlier mornings than you are probably used to on vacation. We don't want to disturb you, so we are renting a car and we will sneak out in the morning. Once you guys have finished coffee, when you get to the park call the cell phone and we'll meet up." If they say that just won't do, let them know they are welcome to join you on your early mornings.

 

[Drewandwendi]

On our last trip, we took Dsis, BIL and DN with us for 3 days of our trip. They are much slower paced, must eat by the clock, not by the stomach, and didn't deal well with all of the walking. We dealt with it, and still had a decent time, but we covered much more ground on our own. We've decided that Disney trips are reserved for the 4 of us only, unless we decide to take a friend for the kids(not likely due to the expense and the fighting over who gets the friend!). I agree that "allowing" them to have the mornings (or whenever) to themselves is a great idea. Just dont do what I do: feel obligated to entertain them. They are grown ups and can entertain themselves!!

Have a blast!!
Wendi

 

[cwnhokie]

Thank you for all your advice. I have relaxed a little since my original post. I am insisting on 2 cars. My dad's wife said all she wants to do is go to Sea World doesn't care about anything else. I told them I would send them a book, so they could see all the things there are to do and make some plans for themselves. I think I will definately give them my loose iterniery. Out of 7 days, I have planned 3 disney parks and seaworld, leaving both travel Saturdays and Tuesday and Thursday with nothing to do but hang out. Part of the problem is that they have never traveled with kids before, so it will be a new experience for them. When she called yesterday, she asked if I had gotten the kids off to school. They are 4 and 2! If she doesn't understand that a 2 year old doesn't go to school, I think she may have many surprises in store on this trip. My dad left when I was 5 and we have never spent a lot of time together so that may have something to do with the anxiety. It will be ok though, I am actually a pretty relaxed person myself, most people say I got it from my dad. My DH, who is type A, says my dad is so slow he makes me look like the roadrunner, though. We once spent 30 minutes in the chili aisle of the grocery store with my dad, while he tried to find the can of chili with the most meat. We have gone to Nascar races in the past with them, but this will be our first trip since the kids came along. Thanks again, sorry for the rambling.