You say that shopping makes you "feel better". You're an emotional shopper, and that's a tough habit to break. Here's the thing: You know that you must cut out the unnecessary shopping -- otherwise you'll never get over this situation -- but if you do, you're left with a hole in your life. A bit shopping-shaped hole. You need to replace it with something, or you'll feel empty. So seek out a FREE activity that can fit into that hole.
I think you're also making excuses for yourself. Disney trips while you're in serious financial trouble?
I'd suggest that you get rid of the credit cards right away. What do you do in case of emergencies? Well, what did people do years ago? They made do. You can too! Right now the cards are too much of a temptation for you. I didn't have a credit card AT ALL until about five years ago, and I only use them now because I can get rewards at the end of the month. You CAN live without them.
I really understand your plight with the house! We were in the same boat a few years ago! We were in a 1300 square foot house, no garage, little storage, and two children. We had stuff in all the corners, and I blamed the problem on the small house. But when we got ready to sell the house, and I got serious about cleaning out bunches of stuff (baby clothes, going-to-use-this-someday gifts, craft items I bought and never used, etc.) suddenly the house wasn't so tiny any more! It wasn't the size of the house: it was the size of my clutter.
In our case, we still needed to sell the house, however, because it was way out in the country and we were spending too much time on the roads every day. For reasons that sound a great deal like yours, it took us over a year to sell the house. Why? A new housing development had sprung up nearby, and people could buy a NEW house for the same price only a few miles away. Honestly, given those circumstances, I wouldn't have bought ours either. Eventually, we had to decrease the price. To sell a house in a difficult market like this, it must be in TOP NOTCH condition, and that often takes cash up front. Still, since you're looking at a HUGE mortgage, you may need to bite the bulllet and do it.
As for the land . . . I don't see it happening. You can't manage what you have now -- how can you pay more? It might be exactly what you want, and it might be a great investment, but if you're barely scraping by now, HOW can you consider it?
Ideas:
Declutter and ebay your junk.
As you declutter your house, "shop" for Christmas presents -- make your goal to spend ZERO on the holidays. Kids as young as yours will be just as happy with inexpensive gifts, so use "found" things from the closets, etc.
Do not buy new adult clothes for the next year -- you can probably do this painlessly.
Buy only used children's clothing for the next year -- it's very simple.
Start writing down everything you buy; since you're an emotional shopper, write down when you buy, how you feel, etc. as well. Once you discover the patterns, find ways to stop them. As for myself, I have a rule: If I see an impluse buy item, I tell myself that I have to wait two weeks before I can buy it. Often I no longer want it. Or, if it's on sale, I buy it and tell myself that it cannot leave the bag for two weeks; if I don't really want it two weeks later, I can return it. I am very rarely disappointed by waiting; I often save money.