Help if you want an adults only reception

[IndyBride]

I read this on MSN and I thought it might be helpful to some on this board.

Dear Miss Manners,
I have a friend who is getting married very soon. She and her husband have decided to make it an "adults only" occasion, which was specified on the wedding invitations. The problem they have run up against is this: the groom's mother has decided that she will ignore their preference and bring her two grandchildren. These children belong to the groom's sister. When the groom reminded his mother and sister that the invitation did not include children, his mother made a fuss, saying, "The children will be so disappointed." The groom apologized to his mother, but insisted that children were not included in the invitation.

His mother has now purchased plane tickets for herself, her daughter and the two grandchildren! She fully intends to bring the children against her son's and his bride's wishes.

How should the bride and groom react to this? They don't want to cause a scene on their special day, but feel angry at this woman's blatant disregard for their feelings. If you would, please offer a word of advice.

Gentle Reader,
It's not just "their special day" that is at stake; it is the "ever after" of family relations. Miss Manners senses the start of a major feud if they push this to a showdown.

Perhaps they can solve the problem another way. An appeal to the sister, along with the offer of a babysitter, either wherever they are staying or near enough to the wedding site so that she could check on them during the reception, might help. As a fallback to that, they could suggest that the children be taken to watch the ceremony and then watched elsewhere, so that the sister could be free to enjoy the celebration that would probably tire and bore them.

But if that doesn't work, Miss Manners' advice is to give up. Should any of the guests complain that they followed instructions not to bring their children, your friends should reply, "We know, and we thank you for respecting our wishes," adding, with an air of good-natured resignation, "not everybody did."

 

[BecBennett]

Ouch, what a sticky situation...

Personally I think I'd prefer to have kids at the reception and not the ceremony, but I spose all that means is you have to pay for them...

Thanks for posting that though, it's pretty interesting.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

thankfully, disney has a "secret service" that takes care of many unwanted wedding guests...

 

[rpmdfw]

thankfully, disney has a "secret service" that takes care of many unwanted wedding guests...

When it works.

 

[dakcp2001]

Talk about mother in law-zilla! That bride should run now! haha

 

[Ember]

I've always thought Disney brides were in a bit of an unfair position when it came to an adults only reception. It's Disney. Not many people will "get" that Disney could possibly have anything that wouldn't be perfect for children, even a privately held wedding. Plus, not many families will travel for a wedding to Disney and not bring their children, who they then will want to take everywhere for lack of a babysitter.

I've never heard of anyone on our board having an adults only event, but I'm sure the location would make it extra challenging.

 

[Starr W.]

I've always thought Disney brides were in a bit of an unfair position when it came to an adults only reception. It's Disney. Not many people will "get" that Disney could possibly have anything that wouldn't be perfect for children, even a privately held wedding. Plus, not many families will travel for a wedding to Disney and not bring their children, who they then will want to take everywhere for lack of a babysitter.

I've never heard of anyone on our board having an adults only event, but I'm sure the location would make it extra challenging.

I think if you were a local, it's easier to do. I think DisneyFairy19's wedding was adult only.

I've been to a few destination weddings and both had kid party rooms set up. My sons still talk about the one we went to at the Breakers 2 yrs ago and my then 10 yr old hates that sort of thing but had a blast.

My cousin is thinking on doing a VR(25yrs) at Disney and is planning on having a kids reception. Her opinion is how can you do something at Disney and not expect people to bring kids. She's going to have a big range of ages from HS age to preschool. We have friends and family members that have adopted young children(hence the really young end of the range.)

 

[steph1213]

I'm having an adults only wedding in 2 weeks. By not having children, it did cut down the amount of relatives willing to fly down for the wedding but that was fine with us. (We are having a post wedding party in NY in January). But those that are bringing kids are either going to use babysitting services or are bringing other family along on the vacation (the grandparents, etc) to watch the kids during the day of the wedding. Luckily we were in the situation that there wasn't anyone that we HAD to have at the wedding that needed to bring kids.