Help - how would you feel about this?

[PoohnPglet]

I have this friend that I feel pretty close to. This friend had a pretty important event take place in their life. I knew this event was going to happen, just not exactly when. And I found out today, in a public forum, that it took place days ago.

I am so happy for my friend. I cannot begin to wish enough good things for my friend. But I am sad that I found out the way I did.

I am torn between feeling unimportant to this person and feeling like a selfish baby for even thinking this way.

So, how would you feel?

 

[4cruisin]

Sometimes, friends do stupid things and hurt people not meaning to. Maybe the event wasn't as big a deal to the friend as you thought it was. Try not to feel bad. I went through something similar a few weeks ago and I'm trying not to let it affect my feelings for my friend but sometimes, it's hard.

 

[RadioNate]

It's hard to say. Did she have baby and not call you personally? I wouldn't be bothered by that, those things are usually spread by word of mouth.

Did she get married and not invite you after months of talking up her wedding and implying you'd be invited. Did she invite a 100 other people and not you? In that situation I'd be hurt.

 

[Aidensmom]

The same way you do.

 

[Bob Slydell]

It's hard to say. Did she have baby and not call you personally? I wouldn't be bothered by that, those things are usually spread by word of mouth.

Did she get married and not invite you after months of talking up her wedding and implying you'd be invited. Did she invite a 100 other people and not you? In that situation I'd be hurt.

ITA -- it's impossible to know how I would feel about something without some pretty important details.

 

[4cruisin]

I'm almost wondering if you are referring to someone here on the DIS. There are all kinds of friends....work friends, neighbor friends, school friends, bb friends. Try not to judge them. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt you.

 

[RickinNYC]

You should tar and feather him/her/them without remorse.

 

[L107ANGEL]

I would be happy for him/her without allowing myself to feel slighted in anyway. Thats what friends do for one another, you are there to grieve with them when needed and celebrate when able regardless on how or when you were to find out the news. Thats just me though and I can be a troublemaker

 

[Chipperdini]

Help - how would you feel about this?

I don't know. Perhaps your friend is not inclined to make much of a deal out of some kinds of life events? Not everyone cares to "announce" things to others, even friends and/or family. Just a thought.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

It's all WAY to vague to be able to give an answer to. Like has been asked, is this a real life friend who got married and didn't invite you after telling you she was going to? I'd be pissed, but I'd wonder what the rest of the story possibly was. Not necessarily with you, but maybe with her (financially, maybe or did you not like the guy?...). Did she have a baby? We'd have to have a bit more information.

 

[MushyMushy]

Nobody can really tell you how you should feel. If you feel hurt, then just experience that emotion and move on and try not to dwell on it. If you're happy for the person, then let them know.

I don't know what happened, but I think it's natural to feel a little left out or hurt. The real test is in how you respond to it.

 

[MushyMushy]

You should tar and feather him/her/them without remorse.

OMG, the OP doesn't mean you does she???

If so, then you're right. Tar and feathering is the way to go on this one.

 

[wdw4us]

Well personally speaking I was honored to have something happen in my life. I told a few friends but not a lot in my “group” because I didn’t want to appear to be bragging. Usually the grapevine works.

Not knowing what exactly it is we’re helping you with here, there may be a few answers to your question.

denise

 

[mking624]

For me it depends on the actual situation, just HOW close I am to this person, and the circumstances surrounding the event (i.e. did she make a general announcement? did she contact someone who made the announcement for her? did someone contact *her* to find out what was going on and then post about it?). I agree with the person who said that this is way too vague to give a definitive answer.

 

[PoohnPglet]

I would be happy for him/her without allowing myself to feel slighted in anyway. Thats what friends do for one another, you are there to grieve with them when needed and celebrate when able regardless on how or when you were to find out the news. Thats just me though and I can be a troublemaker

I wish I could be this person! I know this is the right response, but I always somehow do the small and petty thing.


Thank you all for responding with advice.

 

[L107ANGEL]

I wish I could be this person! I know this is the right response, but I always somehow do the small and petty thing.


Thank you all for responding with advice.

Believe me!!! You truely wouldn't want to be me lately I am sure you are loved by this person and they never meant to hurt you in anyway

 

[disykat]

OMG, the OP doesn't mean you does she???

If so, then you're right. Tar and feathering is the way to go on this one.

that was my first thought!