Help -- how old do you leave your kids in the bathtub?

[tatooed goofy]

I have DD's but it was around 5 or 6 when we left them. We used to eat popsicles and I would read stories in the tub. When they got older 5-6 we let them have the popsicles and left them while every so often talking to them. I found less happened when they were together than alone. It is not your fault. He could have fallen even if you were there watching him. Accidents happen every day. Just MHO.

 

[memymomonica]

I never left DD alone, even for a second until she was 4. Even then, it was for a short time and she had to sing until I got back. If she stopped, I ran back to bathroom a.s.a.p. She is 8 now and gets her shower by herself with a hand held shower. She has been doing that since 1st grade. I think your son was plenty old enough to be in the tub by himself. Not your fault. Just a lesson learned. Your son now knows just how slippery bath tubs can be.

 

[belle&beast]

That's terrible about your friends child--sorry to hear that. When I saw your post it did make me wonder---is it all tub or pool related? We are in the midst of putting a swimming pool in and that's one of my biggest fears. I will DEFINITELY not be leaving my son alone in it. My new motto will be: If I have to pee, so does he!!! (this is IN the house, not in the pool)

Thanks for the eye awakening.

My friend's little girl drowned in a pool- they did not know she had gotten outside and it all happened very quickly. The article did not discriminate between pools or tubs but it is a really eye opening article. It is in Parents magazine July issue-I have the magazine, it may also be online.

 

[mom_of_2_princesses]

If I read your second post correctly you said your son was 7. This is a very appropiate age to leave him within earshot. You should not feel bad and keep doing what you were doing. He needs to learn how to be a little independant. He will be more careful now. Good luck with his tooth. You could even try a shower if he is a little hesitant about the bath now.

 

[Lisa_Belle]

I think it depends on your child. My DD is 4 and there is no way I would leave her in the tub for two reasons. First, she thinks dancing around naked in the tub is just too cool so there is that potential for harm. And second, if I leave her alone for even a minute, half of the tub water somehow manages to leap out onto the floor, making a huge mess that I must clean up. Ironically, when she was 3, she would sit nicely and play with her tub toys while singing away. I blame it on the Cheetah Girls. Once she learned how to "Shake a Tail Feather" she went wild on me.

But I fell and chipped my tooth when I was 8 or so. Yes, I was doing something stupid. That can happen at any age, and it can happen even if you are there with him. And, he can get hurt just about anywhere, even at school when you're not around. It doesn't make you a bad parent. You would be more of a "bad" parent if you never let him learn from his mistakes. I'm glad he's doing OK. Here are some "teeth" for him:

 

[Boncho]

That's terrible about your friends child--sorry to hear that. When I saw your post it did make me wonder---is it all tub or pool related? We are in the midst of putting a swimming pool in and that's one of my biggest fears. I will DEFINITELY not be leaving my son alone in it. My new motto will be: If I have to pee, so does he!!! (this is IN the house, not in the pool)

Thanks for the eye awakening.

Sorry to hear about your son. It must have been very scary for both of you.
My son was 5 before he was allowed in the bathtub by himself (with me close by of course).As for the pool, my rule is - if I have to go to the bathroom, so does everyone else - if they make a fuss, pool time is over for the day. Before we go in the pool, we have the phone, drinks (ice-water and Kool-aid)etc. outside with us so that the only reason I should have to leave the pool is to go to the bathroom

 

[ribbot]

My friend's little girl drowned in a pool- they did not know she had gotten outside and it all happened very quickly. The article did not discriminate between pools or tubs but it is a really eye opening article. It is in Parents magazine July issue-I have the magazine, it may also be online.

Thanks, I'll check it out. We're putting up a privacy fence that has 2 different locks on it (one actually opens from the top of the 6 ft fence from the inside--like an adult has to reach over), so hopefully there will be no way a child could wander outside and into the pool. I'll pray anyway that it will never happen. I think my fear is more of a child sucking in water by accident and drowning.

And as far as the bathroom thing goes---my husband is actually contemplating putting a Dear John portable toilet outside so that nobody has to go into the house for anything. Expensive but cautious. Not too sure I'd like that in my backyard though

 

[juligrl]

Funny I saw this post on here today...

As I was using my Little Green Machine to get out the ink that my DD3 had just gotten on the carpet in our study yesterday, she was upstairs, in her room on time out. Or at least that's where she was supposed to be.

When I switched off the Little Green Machine, I heard water running in the bathtub. Up the stairs I flew to find DD, minus clothing, in the bathtub dumping cups of water all over the bathroom floor. Dear dog thought this looked like fun and jumped into the tub as well.

At this rate I'm thinking 18 might be old enough to let her have the bathroom to herself -- so long as it's her own bathroom and she doesn't cause any more wet spots to appear on my kitchen ceiling.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I don't leave my 5-yo alone in the bathtub yet, not even if he's taking a shower. I don't know what age exactly that I will.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I would say 6-9. 5's and under are too little (wouldn't venture more than from the bathroom to the closet next to the door) and 9-10's and older need their privacy at that age. This is all approximate, of course.

I think it's terrible for your mom to blame you. You couldn't have stopped it.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

My dd was almost 5 when she decided that she needed to take showers without me in the room. Everytime she gets in the shower, I leave the door open and she sings at the top of her lungs.

BTW, when she was 2 1/2, we were walking down the stairs and she pulled her hand away from mine. She fell down the stairs and knocked out a tooth.

Don't blame yourself. Accidents happen. I hope your son is alright.

 

[Goobergal99]

My little one is seven but I started leaving her semi-alone at 5. However, we still leave the door open at all times so she really isn't alone alone. I am kind of paranoid so I always call if it gets to quiet "Shan are you ok" She's always like "Mom... I am fine" with attitude of course that I dare interrupt her bath time

 

[Luv'sTink]

It was around 5 or so for us too.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

And as far as the bathroom thing goes---my husband is actually contemplating putting a Dear John portable toilet outside so that nobody has to go into the house for anything. Expensive but cautious. Not too sure I'd like that in my backyard though

I'm a little about how the Dear John's going to help with the safety. Unless you go to the bathroom with the door open I don't see how you're going to be able to supervise your kids while using it? I can't see myself using a Dear John without locking the kids outside the pool fence first.

Now, on the other hand, I can see it being a great way to protect your floors and your house from dripping wet kids running through it to use the potty!!!

Otherwise, I think you've got the safety thing covered -- a very tall, not climbable fence, that locks and is never unlocked unless they're an adult by the pool watching, is what I'd want before I felt safe with a pool. I have several friends who have pools that are in their backyard and not fenced (well, they whole yard is fenced, but there's nothing between the pool and the areas where the kids play). I don't let my son play at those houses, even though he's 7 and swims well.

 

[glass slipper girl]

My boys, 4 and 6, bathe together. The oldest is requesting privacy (not as in bathe without brother but as in without Mom and Dad in the room) so of course the younger one is saying the same thing. Our compromise is that I now bathe them in our room. So they are in the tub and I am outside the bathroom sitting on our bed. I can see them but am not in the room. technically. They always assume I am paying not attention to them and am reading or watching TV.

I'm comfortable with this. If I can't see 2 little blonde heads I am only steps away but they feel like they have some privacy. I will feel comfortable leaving the older one alone much sooner than the younger one as he is just more mature in general. I think back to him at 4 and he was a much more "mature 4" (as if there is such a thing! ) than DS #2 is.

 

[ribbot]

I'm a little about how the Dear John's going to help with the safety. Unless you go to the bathroom with the door open I don't see how you're going to be able to supervise your kids while using it? I can't see myself using a Dear John without locking the kids outside the pool fence first.

Now, on the other hand, I can see it being a great way to protect your floors and your house from dripping wet kids running through it to use the potty!!!

Otherwise, I think you've got the safety thing covered -- a very tall, not climbable fence, that locks and is never unlocked unless they're an adult by the pool watching, is what I'd want before I felt safe with a pool. I have several friends who have pools that are in their backyard and not fenced (well, they whole yard is fenced, but there's nothing between the pool and the areas where the kids play). I don't let my son play at those houses, even though he's 7 and swims well.

The Dear John is just so that the kids aren't running through the house with wet feet, slipping on the kitchen floor, etc. I would think it would be much easier to stand outside in the yard for a few seconds to have a child go to the potty, than have to totally dry off, run in the house, etc. I wasn't thinking about it for me to use it while they're in the pool, I was thinking about them having to use it. If I have to go that bad, everybody's getting out until I come back out. Most likely my hubby would come up with a clever way to fence it in inside the pool fenced in area anyway. We're still in the building process, so that'll be last on the list anyway. The fence is 6 ft. tall and pretty much unshimable (is that a word?) unless you're Spidey. At least for little kids anyway.

Insurance companies won't cover an accident in a swimming pool unless there's a fence around it. Some areas where we live you have to have a pool fence alarm too. Yikes, since I'm super cautious do you think I'm gonna have ALL the neighborhood kids here??

 

[belle&beast]

Insurance companies won't cover an accident in a swimming pool unless there's a fence around it. Some areas where we live you have to have a pool fence alarm too. Yikes, since I'm super cautious do you think I'm gonna have ALL the neighborhood kids here??

I grew up with an inground swimming pool and so did DH, luckily our parents still have them so we don't have far to go to swim! My mom had a hard and fast rule that NOBODY swam without a parent present. Everyone was welcome if we were outside, but parents needed to supervise their children. The exception was if we had invited friends over without parents or cousins, but the neighborhood kids were not allowed without a parent. I'm sure she was the talk of the neighborhood at first, but I think eventually everyone understood the responsibility of having a poolful of kids. Enjoy your summer and maybe talk to your neighbors about your concerns.

 

[ribbot]

I grew up with an inground swimming pool and so did DH, luckily our parents still have them so we don't have far to go to swim! My mom had a hard and fast rule that NOBODY swam without a parent present. Everyone was welcome if we were outside, but parents needed to supervise their children. The exception was if we had invited friends over without parents or cousins, but the neighborhood kids were not allowed without a parent. I'm sure she was the talk of the neighborhood at first, but I think eventually everyone understood the responsibility of having a poolful of kids. Enjoy your summer and maybe talk to your neighbors about your concerns.

I also grew up with an inground pool and the same rule applied at my house then and will apply at my house now. I've already told everyone that they are more than welcome to come swimming, but if your children want to swim, you will have to stay with them. I'd rather be the talk of the neighborhood than have to defend myself when/if an accident happens. I would never go to someone's house, drop my kids off (or send my kids to the neighbors) unsupervised and expect them to babysit. Oh, I sure do plan on enjoying the summer and it looks like some great pool weather coming up in the next week!!

 

[liamandcaili]

I don't think 7 is too young at all to bathe by themselves. DS is 7 and has been taking showers by himself for at least a year...maybe longer. DD will be five in September, and I just started allowing her to be in the bath by herself, although the door is open, I am across the hall and I check on her frequently. She is very calm though and mostly likes soaking. She doesn't play with the faucets, the drain or try to stand up on her own.

DS still plays sometimes, and fell in the tub a week ago, despite us having a bathmat to prevent slips. Fortunately, he was fine. I think that scared him though, and I went over the rules of tub safety with him, and he has been much calmer lately. I think boys need very explicit instructions...no jumping in the tub, no trying to hang from the shower curtain, no trying to kick the bathmat (I think that was what he was doing when he fell), no plugging the drain so the tub fills up. He did that too. I heard splashing, went in, and found him trying to swim in the tub with the water almost ready to spill over. He hasn't done that since.

Instead of feeling guilty, use the accident as an opportunity to review some important safety rules. I'm glad your son is okay!