Help -- how old do you leave your kids in the bathtub?

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My son just fell in the bathtub and chipped a tooth. He tells me he decided to get up on his knees so he could stick the front part of his hair in the water and slipped and hit the edge. I was in the bedroom (next to the bathroom, not connected) and heard a crash -- I jumped up and was calling his name and starting for the door when I heard him crying, and of course ran to him.

My mom was there and told me that he's "way too little to be alone in the bathtub", and that he "needs me" and basically it's my fault he was hurt. Of course I feel awful that he got hurt, but I'm really not sure I agree he was too little, I think it's just a thing that happened.

Anyway, I'm not going to put his age here, because I want people to give me an honest opinion. At what age did you start leaving your active little boys alone in the tub for a few minutes while the doors are open and you're within hearing/springting distance? Please be honest, don't worry that you'll make me feel bad. My feelings are much less important than keeping my little guy safe.

 

[dawnedwards]

I would be waiting until at least the age of 5 or 6 and if they are really active even later. My primary reason for this is the amount of children that have had accidents in the bath and that not all of these kids are really small.

 

[MickeyHereWeCome!]

Our kids were around age 5 when we started letting them be alone in the tub. This is around the time they started asking for privacy. I just make sure I'm within ear's shot. The kids are pretty loud while in the tub (dd loves to sing and talk to herself...loudly), so I can pretty much tell that everything is OK. Of course, I check, right away, if it gets quiet.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

DH and i just discussed this as we were bathing the little one. He said 6 or 7 and i agreed more towards 7. just to be in the bathroom maybe reading a book or magazine or just chatting (we have a larger bathroom).

 

[dawnedwards]

I am probably more inclined to argree with the last poster, but I was thinking of the absolute youngest age that I would leave for a minute or two as opposed to beginning a regular practice of them bathing on their own.

 

[mom2alix]

DD is still just 4, so haven't faced this issue yet. I was actually discussing this with the playgroup moms a couple of weeks ago and our consensus was probably about 1st grade. Right now DD pretty much gives herself a bath (I help with hair rinsing and reminders) and I sit in the bathroom and read a magazine while she plays in the water.

I hope your son is feeling better and that his tooth isn't too bad!

 

[jessica52877]

My son is 3 1/2 and I'll leave him in the bathroom, but I guess since I am sitting in the hallway doing something, that probably doesn't count (about 4 feet away with door open). I won't venture further or close the door. He also is not allowed to stand up (not that the little one was doing that) or even get on his knees, etc. He is a really laid back boy so that helps. I wash his hair still and what not so he isn't in there usually longer then about 5 minutes with me in the hallway. And this is not always.

Edited to add: In fact I am one of the few who I know that actually still are near when he is bathing. But then again, these others I know, I would never leave my son with!

 

[rainy~daze]

I don't think it is your fault, that is why they are called accidents. Even if you were right next to him, you still may not have caught him. My son was 3 and wanted to climb out of our SUV by himself, I was RIGHT next to him and he still fell, i couldn't catch him. It was too fast. Chipped 3 teeth. ugh!!!!! but, back to topic...my ds is now almost 5 (5 weeks away) and dd is 3 1/2. I actually still let them take baths together, so if I need to run to the kitchen for a second(it is 5 feet away) I leave them together. so I feel a little better. But only if i am less than 10 feet away and can hear them at all times. I don't know when I will actually let them stay alone for a longer period, guess we'll play by ear and see how they mature???

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Thanks everyone!

My son is 7 and just about to finish first grade. I've been leaving him alone (always within earshot, checking often) for a few months now. Obviously, I now wish I'd chosen a later age to leave him alone, but you guys made me feel like I wasn't totally irresponsible, since most of you said you'd choose about the same age.

I think he's going to be OK, he cried for a while, a mix of feeling embarassed about how he looked and pain I think -- but not so hard that he couldn't dictate a letter to the tooth fairy asking if a partial tooth was still worth money. He calmed down after a few minutes and fell asleep easily.

 

[kkevcamsmom]

If I am stilll close by, 3 or 31/2 yrs old. My 5 yr old, will only shower now and washes himself. He doesn't want much help. We will wash is back and make sure he rinsed off good.

That being said, they both have done dumb things like, sliding down the back 'slopey slide' of the tub, using the built in hand rail for "climbing the mountain" and stood on the edge and jumped into the 'ocean'. My favorite is when they play car wash, they hold up a washcloth and spin around under the shower hitting themselves with the washcloth. More than once they have fallen or hit their heads on the side of the tub.

I don't think there is a set age, but I wouldn't leave them alone for too long before the age of 5 yr. My DH, will leave the 3 yr old in the tub and run downstairs and be gone for 10 mins!! Then he get's mad if he makes a mess...

Yes he gets the 3rd degree everytime he does it!

It can also depend on the child and how comfortable they are in the water alone, if they are in the bath or shower, and how close you stay to the room.

Lori

 

[belle&beast]

I have been accused of being over-protective, but my kids are 2.5 and almost 5 and I don't plan on leaving either of them alone in the tub anytime soon. Children can drown in very little amounts of water and you can't always hear a "problem." I am a little more worried since a friend lost her 3yo last spring to drowning (not in a tub). I just read an article in Parents Magazine and was shocked by the statistics: "drowning is the leading cause of injury related death among children ages 1-3 and the second lerading cause of death in kids under 15." Please be careful!

 

[Laurajean1014]

5, 6 or 7 depending on the maturity of the child and the accident proneness of the child.

 

[Hannathy]

I would leave them in the tub to go get pajamas or put clothes away -close by door partially open from 2 1/2-3. In kindergarten much longer periods of time coming back to check. Now 1st grade he washes in the shower, I help with hair then leave for a while and come back to help him turn the water off.

I am considered late around here most of the kids are showering or bathing themselves in kindergarten. My DH thinks he should be able to do everything himself now.

Don't kick yourself, it is slippery in the tub and even if you were sitting there, there is no way you could have grabbed him in time. Find a scar on your body from some silly childhood accident show it to your Mom and ask her why she didn't catch you in time, then watch her try to answer maybe she will start laughing and knock it off.

 

[720L]

My son was getting up on his knees, slipped and split his chin open on the side of the bathtub WITH ME SITTING RIGHT THERE. It happened so fast I couldn't have stopped it. Don't feel guilty.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Thanks again everyone.

As an update, I called the dentist this morning and they said I should have put the piece that was chipped off into a glass of milk in case they can reattach it. It's a really small piece and honestly it didn't occur to me that they would want it at all (although I did save it, so as soon as I run out and get some milk I'm going to do that). We have an appointment tomorrow afternoon for them to repair it -- they said that since they probably wouldn't be able to reattach it and he wasn't in any pain waiting until tomorrow was fine.

DS seems fine this morning. He asked for cinnamon toast for breakfast this morning, ate everything except the crust (typical) and then told me it was too hard to chew and he needed yogurt instead so I figure it's tender but not agonizing (or he wouldn't have eaten the toast). He was mostly focused on the fact that the tooth fairy brought him a $20 bill. This was mostly because the "tooth fairy" didn't prepare like she does when there's a loose tooth and literally didn't have any other paper money in the house .

I appreciate all your comments -- Hannathy had a good point that I probably wouldn't have caught him even if I'd been right there -- unless I was kneeling at the edge like I did when he was really tiny. My bigger fear is what would have happened if he had hit his head instead of his tooth and passed out. Thank god that didn't happen.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

Please do not feel bad. I have fell in the tub before and I am a LOT older than 7. We do all we can to protect them and know that accidents will happen. I am racking my brain to remember when I started letting DS but I just can not remember. I know that I started out by lying on the bed in our master bedroom while he was in the tub in our bath with the door open.
GLad he is ok.

 

[taximomfor4]

My oldest dd was 4, 2nd dd was 6 (now 8 and still needs help with hair, but is alone to play), ds was 5 (now 6 we wash his hair), youngest dd is almost 4 and is only left alone briefly to play. I should specify that my kids SHOWER, they don't bathe (except the youngest) and when the youngest is left alone to play, I clean the bathroom (so if I turn away, it is 3 steps away to the linen closet) and I can see her at all times.

 

[spoiltrotten12]

I just read an article in Parents Magazine and was shocked by the statistics: "drowning is the leading cause of injury related death among children ages 1-3 and the second lerading cause of death in kids under 15." Please be careful!

That's a scary and shocking statistic. Our DD is 2 and we would never even dream of leaving her alone in the bath at that age (no offence to anyone who does, it's just MHO)

 

[ribbot]

Glad he's feeling better this morning and is diving into breakfast. Accidents do happen at any age. Just like riding a bike for the first time---you give them a push and hope they pedal, but they might fall off and chip a tooth....but you can't be expected to hold them all the time, right? Ok, maybe that was a bad analogy, but hopefully you got my drift.

My son was about 5 when I started leaving him in the tub---upon his request because he wanted to "soak". He is very laid back and has never gotten into things and knows enough not to turn the water on, not to stand up etc. I guess most kids would play and splash, but he's like a little old man---he leans back, puts his hands behind his head and just relaxes.

I think the decision has to be made according to the childs maturity. I know it's hard not to beat yourself up, because I'd probably be doing the same thing---but do be thankful it was nothing worse. Have a great day!

 

[ribbot]

I have been accused of being over-protective, but my kids are 2.5 and almost 5 and I don't plan on leaving either of them alone in the tub anytime soon. Children can drown in very little amounts of water and you can't always hear a "problem." I am a little more worried since a friend lost her 3yo last spring to drowning (not in a tub). I just read an article in Parents Magazine and was shocked by the statistics: "drowning is the leading cause of injury related death among children ages 1-3 and the second lerading cause of death in kids under 15." Please be careful!

That's terrible about your friends child--sorry to hear that. When I saw your post it did make me wonder---is it all tub or pool related? We are in the midst of putting a swimming pool in and that's one of my biggest fears. I will DEFINITELY not be leaving my son alone in it. My new motto will be: If I have to pee, so does he!!! (this is IN the house, not in the pool)

Thanks for the eye awakening.