Help! Guy trouble!

[Maleficent909TL]

Okay, I thought I would bring this whole issue here since my friend is extremely biased and is no help on this issue.

I'm a freshman, and have never had a boyfriend. Never had the urge to, never saw the reason in it. And now one of the trumpet players in the band has a crush on me. He aske dme out on Friday after the ball game, and he won't take no for an answer. He's sweet and funny, but I don't like him like that. He said it would be fine if we could just be friends, but he called me yesterday, and he says he'll call me today to talk about it. Now, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm in the flag corp and have to see him every school day, I could probably leave it alone, and ignore it. But I have the majority of the band (maybe 30 people in all) on my back, wanting me to go out with him. And here I am am, hopelessly and utterly confused, not wanting to go out with someone yet and having all my friends telling me I should, and I'm about to lose it. Help?

 

[Sparx]

if you don't want to, don't do it.

 

[SoccerTink]

Okay, I thought I would bring this whole issue here since my friend is extremely biased and is no help on this issue.

I'm a freshman, and have never had a boyfriend. Never had the urge to, never saw the reason in it. And now one of the trumpet players in the band has a crush on me. He aske dme out on Friday after the ball game, and he won't take no for an answer. He's sweet and funny, but I don't like him like that. He said it would be fine if we could just be friends, but he called me yesterday, and he says he'll call me today to talk about it. Now, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm in the flag corp and have to see him every school day, I could probably leave it alone, and ignore it. But I have the majority of the band (maybe 30 people in all) on my back, wanting me to go out with him. And here I am am, hopelessly and utterly confused, not wanting to go out with someone yet and having all my friends telling me I should, and I'm about to lose it. Help?

tough situation. In times like these, just do whats best for you. Don't give into peer pressure or anything, I've done that. Hopfully he will like to still be your friend and if not then it really is his loss.

 

[2HOT2touch]

you can't be forced to go out with someone if you dont want to. It's kind of like being forced to have sex. You can say no, don't let people pressure you to do something you dont want to. Just explain to him and your friends, your not ready for a boyfriend, but you wouldn't mind having another friend. And you dont mean to hurt him, but you just aren't ready yet.

 

[Maleficent909TL]

Yeah, but how do I get him to quit asking me over and over? I don't want to sound mean, but it's getting to the point that I might sound like a jerk when I tell him no again. LIke I said, he's sweet, and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

 

[BlueEyes9605]

Have you told him that you'd rather just be friends then boyfriend/girlfriend?

 

[Maleficent909TL]

Have you told him that you'd rather just be friends then boyfriend/girlfriend?

A few times. It's just that he's convinced that I'll say yes, if he persists long enough.

 

[Princess Ash]

Well since the no thing doesn't seem to be working...let me put out a crazy idea...

Give him a chance? You might end up liking him more than you think. And if you don't...then you have solid proof to tell him as to why it wouldn't work out...just a thought...

 

[VolleyballQt07]

well, you could try to be truthful to him and just explain your ''true'' feelings to him. tell him your not ready for a commimtment like this yet and just ask to be friends. and in time, you may like him more and have different feelings for him. but the most important thing, tell him the truth and see what happens! :thumbsup

hope i helped........keep us updated!

 

[jaycat]

Well you could 'give him a chance' but do you really want your first bf to be someone you don’t like in the least like 'that'? IMO don’t let your self be pressured into dating him. If you don’t want to date him and you have already been nice about it, you may have to be mean and he may get his feelings hurt but its better that way. If you don’t really like him dating him isn’t going to be any fun for either of you. BTW if your friends can’t support your decision, then their not very good friends, no one should pressure you into anything.

 

[MissPotatoHead]

If you don't want to go out with someone and you told them no and they REALLY liked you SO much...


then they would wait too.


that's all i got to say.

 

[Figment's friends]

Advice from an older girl.... Reaffirm that you would just like to be friends and bring the control back to your court. Find something fun you could both do as a group and go out after the game. Having your friends around (and I mean REAL friends not people that will be pressuring you to do ANYTHING you don't want to do) will help you to relax and by you planning the activity or activities and of course preplanning your graceful exit strategy. I'm not saying give him a chance if you aren't interested but you might actually really like him as a friend and you CAN take control of the situation and keep it the way you want it. Don't let his persistance rattle you- you are who you are and you will make decisions when they are right for you.

 

[Lil_Tink]

Well, if you want to give it a chance, if you dont, then say no.

 

[swimer3]

Being forced to go out with someone is the worse thing.

dont do it if you arent going to be happy.

take it from a girl who knows.

 

[xxDisneyDancerxx]

You cant be forced to like someone. Thats just wrong. If you dont like someone the you dont like someone. People shouldnt be telling you to go out with him if you dont want to. So if they tell you again jsut be like "No! I dont like hime that way and I just dont want a boyfriend right now" end of story.

 

[dopeygirl156]

If u don't want 2 go out wit him don't. Don't let ppl presure u into something u don't want 2 do. Just tell him u don't want 2 go on dates yet. i bet he'll understand. and if he doesn't so watthere will be more guys 2 ask u out. so don't worry bout it.

 

[Krystarella]

Ouch. Hard situation. You have friends telling you to do it, the guy on your back. Wow. But I'm going to be a sophomore this year, and I've had a few boyfriends before. And speaking from experience, I say DON'T cave to the peer pressure. It's never worth it. Once, I went out with a guy, just becuase he asked me out, and I could tell he really liked me. So I was like "what the heck? I'll give him a chance!" Turns out he was totally obsessive. And he got mad at me for TALKING to other guys! So I was forced to break up with him. I felt bad, but it was what was best. Now, I'm not saying YOUR guy will be like this. But please take this ONE peice of advice----if your heart is saying no, than it's probably for a reason. Follow your heart. It always knows what to do, even if you don't.

 

[polysisterchick]

if your heart is saying no, than it's probably for a reason. Follow your heart. It always knows what to do, even if you don't.

i REALLY like that piece of advice.


anywho, i'm going to say what practically everyone else said:
peer pressure is hard to fight when you got tons of people cheering you on to go out with this guy, but stand firm. don't give in to it. it's happened to me, but when i told my friends to back off and that i wasn't going to go out with the guy, they respected that and got off my case and we're still the best of friends.
My advice: Pull the guy off to the side and talk to him. Tell him your thoughts and feelings. though you may crush the guy, remain his friend, just don't be too friendly.
Your friends shouldn't be trying to pressure you into dating this guy.. if i were you i would have probably exploded already. *by exploded, i mean pretty much yelling at them that, if they were my friends they'd respect my decision on not to go out with this guy and to drop the whole thing*
it's your life, make your own decisions.
don't let your friends make decisions for you.

 

[catycatcat4]

if a guys begs you to go out with him its just bc he wants some one to go out with and he doesnt realy love(or like what ever word you pick) you if he did he leve you alone

 

[cheerchick]

Follow your heart. It always knows what to do, even if you don't.

I like that but everytime I do follow my heart it always gets broken again n then I just do the same thing again. So sometimes it isn't always the best thing 2 do.

I think u should just do what ever u think is right. I say give him a chance but I did that once n it wasn't to bad n I didn't even like the guy that much n of course we r still friends n all. Okay basically what I'm saying is give him a shot. If later on u find out that u really don't wanna date him, Break up w/ him. He may be a totally differnet person but you won't really find that out know will you.

Hope that this helps n good luck. Tell us what happens!!