Help! Friend calls too much!

[GT250R]

I stopped carrying a cell to avoid him.

 

[GT250R]

its only been a year and a half he had parental leave from work when i had summer hoildays and spent EVERY day of that at my house showing up between 830am to 11am

 

[Tinijocaro]

We only answer the phone when it's convenient for us. You should do the same, and if it's a jabber calling, I only call back when I have the time and desire to talk. Sometimes a text saying I can't really talk now works too.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

There's nothing wrong with saying, "things are a little hectic right now" or, "now is not a good time to talk". She should not expect you to be available to talk all the time. You have your family that is your main priority and you need to decide when you'd like to talk with her. If it's never, that's fine. If it's the next day after the kids leave for school, tell her. If that's the case, suggest that it's best to talk when the kids are in school. Maybe try setting the timer and when it goes off, tell her that your timer is going off, which means that your phone break is over (hey, I'm a timer person, work with me ) and that you'll talk with her another time. Or set up a time to meet for coffee. Don't make it your house or you might never get rid of her.

I'm going to repeat my advice that I gave 4 years ago when the thread was first posted.

I'll add....establish BOUNDARIES and BE HONEST! Let friends know when it's a good time to talk and let them know early on before resentment has built. If you're not a phone person (I'm not, so I understand that) tell them. If you *want*, suggest meeting for coffee, going for a walk, etc instead of chatting on the phone. What seems obvious to some people--it's not polite to call repeatedly, it's not ok to show up on a doorstep just because someone doesn't answer the phone, it's not ok to make a non-emergency call when you know the other person is likely sleeping--is not obvious to some people. Starting out with a gentle reminder is ok and necessary to establish healthy boundaries. But if you wait until you're beyond irritated, it's easy to blow up.

 

[mom2aandj]

We only answer the phone when it's convenient for us. You should do the same

this. I don't let other people control me. As others said, there's no need to lie. If you don't want to answer the phone, don't. If she calls your cell, let that go to voicemail too. When you do feel like talking, if your friend gives you grief you just say, it wasn't a good time for me to talk then. I'm calling now because it is.

 

[GT250R]

what if they just show up at your door, your the only one that lives there and your vehicle is home? he wrecked my doorbell dinging it repeatly for 5 minutes at 2am.

 

[descovy]

Okay, that's not just weird, it's very intrusive. I would back away from this person.

I have "that friend" too. Awful/over the top story...

She lives a block away, but we also work at Target together. HR calls her asking if she can cover a cash office shift in the morning. She can't so she calls me.

It's 9pm... dh and I are "in bed" and my phone goes like this...

1. Target calls... "can you work?"
2. Friend calls... "target needs someone in the morning. Can you do it?"
3. Friend calls my cell phone.
4. Friend calls house back. "Can you work? because I can't."
5. Friend drives over and rings the doorbell. She sees our cars in the driveway, so she looks down the street to see if I'm on a walk.
6. She considers checking my next door neighbor to see if we are visiting over there.
7. Friend comes back and rings the doorbell again... and knocks on door.
8. Friend goes home and calls me AGAIN! This time I answer the phone (when she was at my door, I wasn't appropriate for answering a doorbell) Love her, but I am PISSED! She's all "why didn't you answer?"

Guess what? work found a replacement. They didn't need her to stalk me down.

 

[abdmom]

what if they just show up at your door, your the only one that lives there and your vehicle is home? he wrecked my doorbell dinging it repeatly for 5 minutes at 2am.

Call the police?

 

[marlynnp]

what if they just show up at your door, your the only one that lives there and your vehicle is home? he wrecked my doorbell dinging it repeatly for 5 minutes at 2am.

You need to build a garage with no windows.

 

[diznygirl]

what if they just show up at your door, your the only one that lives there and your vehicle is home? he wrecked my doorbell dinging it repeatly for 5 minutes at 2am.

If you live alone and someone is ringing your doorbell at 2 am then you call the police.

 

[Disney Doll]

what if they just show up at your door, your the only one that lives there and your vehicle is home? he wrecked my doorbell dinging it repeatly for 5 minutes at 2am.

Call the police. And when he gets mad at you, say "How was I supposed to know it was you? I do not open my door at 2am. So I did what made me feel safe...I called the police".

No one takes advantage of you without your consent.