HELP 15 month old biting everyone!!

[kaleighmariesmom]

and I dont know what to do. I have 15 month old twins. Boy and girl. My girl NEVER bites anyone .. my son.. well today he bite me(when I wasnt looking he bit my leg) He bite DD(5) so hard she was bleeding and he bit his twin on the arm and now she has a bruise. My family keeps laughing it off and says not to worry about it. My oldest DD never bit anyone so this is new to me. Any suggestions on what to do? I would appreciate it!

 

[delyrium]

My biggest suggestion is DO NOT LAUGH. Nothing that makes him think this is a fun way to get attention. A firm "No!" and a removal from the situation. A consistent and immediate response to the behavior should be effective at that age.

 

[kaleighmariesmom]

My biggest suggestion is DO NOT LAUGH. Nothing that makes him think this is a fun way to get attention. A firm "No!" and a removal from the situation. A consistent and immediate response to the behavior should be effective at that age.

I dont laugh but when I tell my mom and sisters they laugh! They think it is just "kids being kids" but I dont want this to escalate into biting other people outside our home. I say "no" very firm and pick him up and move him away from the person he bite ( then I go and comfort that person).

 

[Grendalynn]

As weird as it sounds, and obviously do so within reason - but bite the biter back. This is how we handled it with our kids when they went through this phase... we did not but hard or forcibly, but just enough for him to feel what he did to the other child. believe me - it gets their attention and may quickly curb their urge to bit.

I also agree with the no laughing piece and and to follow with a time out chair or time in the naughty spot.

Good luck!

 

[bumbershoot]

As weird as it sounds, and obviously do so within reason - but bite the biter back. This is how we handled it with our kids when they went through this phase... we did not but hard or forcibly, but just enough for him to feel what he did to the other child. believe me - it gets their attention and may quickly curb their urge to bit.

It worked for YOU with YOUR kids.

It most certainly did NOT work for me with my kid. I bit him, nowhere near as hard as he had been biting me, and I was watching his face, and I could practically SEE his thoughts. It went from "why does she yell and scream and cry when I chomp" to "oh, all that yelling and crying meant nothing, she actually means we DO bite in this family, excellent, I'll carry on with it then".

NOt sure why his thoughts sounded so British there, LOL, but I truly believe that he learned that we do bite, and it took much longer than I think it would have taken, to stop him after I did that.


Your family has obviously never been bitten by another human. As you know, since you were the first victim, it hurts like nothing else on this planet. My son once bit me on my shoulder blade. A pain like no other. A pain that can ALMOST, but not quite, cause you to forget that this is your child, and not a wild animal, and takes every vestige of brainpower to not react as though it is a dangerous wild animal.

Your family has obviously never had "a biter" near them. Biting kids are vilified, and for good reason. I wanted to send my OWN kid away for the phase of biting! It was awful. Biting kids get that reputation and it never goes away. I still remember the face and name of the kid in my mom's circle of friends who was "the biter".


With other kids in the situation, you just have to be on top of the situation all the time. Never let them get into a position where they will be bitten.


Be aware of his teething patterns, making sure he has proper things to bite on. Also, maybe, and this is only because it turned out to be a causative factor that we realized in retrospect long after, look at his diet. We realized at 3 years old that DS can't handle certain types of sugars (if you turn corn into a syrup and do anything with it, DS cannot handle it) and it turns him into a rage-machine. One of his behaviours during those rages is that he clamps his mouth shut. I *think* that this is what was happening when DS was biting. We didn't KNOW we were feeding him that, I wasn't checking ingredients for more than the usual (we're vegetarian), and honestly he wasn't getting THAT much food-food, since he still was *nearly* exclusively nursed until well past a year and a half, but I think some snacky type things did get through.

So...check his diet, see if he has problems after certain foods. Could be something, might not be...but if it IS a food thing, then it's the easiest way to remedy it.

Otherwise, just constant vigilance and making sure he understands that this is not acceptable.

And stop telling your family if they are going to make ridiculous replies like "kids being kids".

 

[North of Mouse]

How long has this been going on? If you put a stop to it "at first bite" then you are in control. The longer you let him get by with this dangerous practice, the harder it will be to enforce discipline. I did like the previous two posters and showed them what biting felt like ( not that hard, but enough to show it was pain) and explained with a firm NO that it was not to happen again - believe me it worked because i would not tolerate it. They have to know you mean what you say - nip it in the bud!! Children (even little ones) learn fast - much faster than most parents give credit for - a lot of them are playing their parents like a violin and everyone sees it but the parents .

 

[fakereadhed]

Keep track of when/situation biting occurs. May be a sensory issue. Some kids bite when they get wound up. Or frustrated and don't have words yet. Behavior is communication. Figure out what he's telling you and then try to help him deal with it in a positive way.

 

[kaleighmariesmom]

How long has this been going on? If you put a stop to it "at first bite" then you are in control. The longer you let him get by with this dangerous practice, the harder it will be to enforce discipline. I did like the previous two posters and showed them what biting felt like ( not that hard, but enough to show it was pain) and explained with a firm NO that it was not to happen again - believe me it worked because i would not tolerate it. They have to know you mean what you say - nip it in the bud!! Children (even little ones) learn fast - much faster than most parents give credit for - a lot of them are playing their parents like a violin and everyone sees it but the parents .

It JUST started today!! I try to nip it right away. I told him a firm NO and moved hom away from the other kids. It seemed to happen all day today. Morning, afternoon and just about an hr ago.

 

[sjs314]

As weird as it sounds, and obviously do so within reason - but bite the biter back. This is how we handled it with our kids when they went through this phase... we did not but hard or forcibly, but just enough for him to feel what he did to the other child. believe me - it gets their attention and may quickly curb their urge to bit.

I also agree with the no laughing piece and and to follow with a time out chair or time in the naughty spot.

Good luck!

I totally agree My mother told me I started biteing people and that is exactly what she did to show me it hurt and I stopped. Luckily my DS's never went through that stage but a neighbor boy did and his mother also bit him and he stopped biting the other kids

 

[MSSANDRA]

It sounds like you are handling it just about right.I do not recommend biting him back for a LOT of reason but in your case because if you start biting too, I can just about promise that the other twin with give it a try!

Try to watch him REALLY close for the next few days. Is his routine off from Christmas? Is he over stimulated from new toys? Has dad been home when is is often not? Lots of situations to watch. I would try not to leave him alone with the other two children. Bites not only hurt but can be dangerous.

Try to spend a little extra time alone with him to assure he is getting some one on one time. Try to help him express himself as toddlers are more limited on their expressive language than receptive and that is frustrating to them!

Hang in there...this too will pass.

 

[miprender]

We went through this with my DS biting his sister when he was mad. We tried everything even tried putting soap in his mouth and getting in lots of trouble but it finally went away on its own.

But it did last about 6mths

 

[twinboysmom]

I feel your pain OP. Both of my twins have had some problems off and on with biting, more so when they are teething but it appears sometimes out of frustration. What has worked best for us is not to laugh of course (thrynseem to think it is funny) but to firmly say "NO". I remove them from the situation or if they bite me (the usual target) I put them down and ignore them. I do sometimes pat them on the lips firmly and say no (not a slap). Please do not bite your child as per a PP recommendation. There are numerous reasons not to but being that you are asking for help, I am pretty sure you're not going that route.

I do think it will get better as he gets older and that he will outgrow it. As for now, I do know how frustrating it is. Good luck to you and your family.

 

[tigger51276]

With my DD8 as a little one when she started biting, after several attempts at "NO" and that not working, you betcha, I bit her back and she never bit again.
My DD3 is also a biter and I have been trying for over 2 years to get her to stop and she hasn't. I have not bitten her back but that is because I think she would actually like it, but I am getting to the end of my rope with her. She has some anger issues and will actually be starting behavorial therapy soon and I'm hoping that will help the issue.

 

[luvsJack]

First, biting at this age is normal. Not all kids do it but it is normal.

I agree with the pp that said if you bite him back it may only result in teaching your other twin to bite too.

When he bites, you need to be able to tell him very firmly "NO" followed with "biting hurts!" and remove him from the situation. Put him in his crib, in a high chair--just somewhere that he is safe but away from you and the other children so he can't bite again. Give him a minute or two and then go back to him and tell him again that he cannot bite.

Also, try to make sure that you stay very calm with him and only say "NO, biting hurts" and then silently remove him. Give a LOT more attention to the person he bit--and make sure he sees that.

It will pass and some kids get out of it sooner than others but it WILL pass.

 

[KristiKat]

As weird as it sounds, and obviously do so within reason - but bite the biter back. This is how we handled it with our kids when they went through this phase... we did not but hard or forcibly, but just enough for him to feel what he did to the other child. believe me - it gets their attention and may quickly curb their urge to bit.

I also agree with the no laughing piece and and to follow with a time out chair or time in the naughty spot.

Good luck!

This sounds like the advise my mom would give that her mom gave her. Honestly, I had a friend with this problem and she was told the same thing. It worked for her with her child. He never bit again. My DD was never a biter but she had a boy in her daycare who was. He had already been put out of one daycare and was about to be put out of this one. My child had bruises in the shape of his teeth for a couple days so he was a hard biter. Finally one of the other children got tired of it and bit him back and that put a stop to it. Guess he just had to be shown what it was like. I'm not saying he became the perfect child after that but at least he wasn't biting anymore.

 

[North of Mouse]

No, luvsJack, biting at that age is NOT normal and should be stopped because other innocent children can really be hurt - one of my nephews was - and it's true, they WILL throw them out of daycare if you don't deal with it. They can't afford the chance of another child getting hurt in their care. But, as PP said, sometimes some of the other kiddies take care of the situation when they've had enough

 

[roxysmum123]

No, luvsJack, biting at that age is NOT normal and should be stopped because other innocent children can really be hurt

Disagree, biting is common in children at this age. Where biting becomes abnormal is over the age of 3, as most children will have learned better coping skills and social skills. Many children go through a "biting phase" and its often a communication or reaction seeking behaviour. This is a quick snippet from WebMD about children biting at that age:
Between 15 and 36 months of age, children may bite other people when they are frustrated or want power or control over another person. Usually they bite other children. Less frequently they bite their caregivers. Children of this age usually stop biting as they learn that biting is not acceptable behavior.

Keep in mind "frustrated" doesn't necessarily mean that the frustration is directed towards the bite-ee but they just happen to be the closest target. Frustration can come from hunger, tiredness, inability to communicate feelings, etc.
I do, however, agree that the behaviour should be stopped. Given that the OP seems to be... worst saying ever but.... nipping this in the bud, she should see a quick change in the behaviour once the child realizes it will not be tolerated. Distract and redirect the behaviour to something more appropriate and if able to express it have the child apologize to the "victim".

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Just something to think about for those advocating biting back. I know people have said not to do it hard (if not, then what's the point?), but if you ever had to go into an ER and they found adult bite marks on your child, you could find yourself in hot water because as Mandated Reporters, emergency workers are mandated to report things like that, which for some kids, could signal abuse. They have no way of knowing who's abusing and who's just trying to teach a lesson. Food for thought.

OP, as others have said, you have to be firm here with your Time Outs. If you're unsure how to do them effectively, read up on it. I had a friend who had a child who bit and the one time I invited her over for a get together it was a really difficult few hours trying to keep the other kids from being bitten. Stay strong, you can do it. Good luck.

 

[roxysmum123]

Just something to think about for those advocating biting back. I know people have said not to do it hard (if not, then what's the point?), but if you ever had to go into an ER and they found adult bite marks on your child, you could find yourself in hot water because as Mandated Reporters, emergency workers are mandated to report things like that, which for some kids, could signal abuse. They have no way of knowing who's abusing and who's just trying to teach a lesson. Food for thought.

Once again Pea-n-Me, you speak my mind. I heart your posts sometimes,

 

[indimom]

and I dont know what to do. I have 15 month old twins. Boy and girl. My girl NEVER bites anyone .. my son.. well today he bite me(when I wasnt looking he bit my leg) He bite DD(5) so hard she was bleeding and he bit his twin on the arm and now she has a bruise. My family keeps laughing it off and says not to worry about it. My oldest DD never bit anyone so this is new to me. Any suggestions on what to do? I would appreciate it!

Day care provider here. Biting is not uncommon in this age bracket. My best suggestion, keep him close and try to catch him "before" he bites. Try to figure out what sets him off (fatigue, frustration, getting over excited, etc.) and intervene before it happens. (Check and see if he's getting teeth, this can also trigger biting and you may want to give him a wet rag to chew on.) I know this is hard, but I've had my quickest success derailing a biter by being ultra observant and intervening quickly. It doesn't mean he can't play with his siblings, but maybe they shouldn't play in their bedroom away from mom, kwim? Keep them close for awhile.

I don't recommend biting back. I prefer a time out and redirection. I don't think it hurts (even with a little one) to keep repeating "biting hurts," showing them the mark they made or their siblings' tears. They may not have many verbal skills at this point, but they will get your point through your tone and repeated correction.

If you intervene quickly and decisively, you should be able to curb this habit within a few months. But, stay on alert, it can recur when you least expect it. I don't fully let down my guard until we've gone a year or more without a bite.

My most recent biter seemed to bite whenever another child was sitting or laying down. He would crawl onto their lap, start roughhousing, then bite. For him, the rough play was getting him overexcited. He wasn't angry, he was playing. Once I understood this, I also included the older children in prevention. I made sure they all understood that they should not wrestle with him or allow him to crawl into their lap when they were sitting or lying on the floor. If he appeared about to bite, they were to yell "No" loudly and could gently push him away. This is a big help for me, since it's hard to track one child in many at all times. (Just make sure other kids understand that he is not trying to hurt them and they should not retaliate. Keep it defensive.)

One other word of caution: Biting can be contagious. I've had bitees become biters after they were attacked. So keep an eye on your other little one as well.

Don't panic. This too shall pass.