He won't p**p in the potty!

[txgirl]

OK Moms- I know you have been here. This is child #3 and my first boy. We are doing reasonably well with the whole tee-tee aspect of potty training. It took a couple of weeks and we still go a bit in our pants but I am definitely seeing progress.

Poop on the other hand is taking place at naptime, bedtime, or unfortunately in our underwear behind the couch or the tv!

It hasn't happened yet on the potty and while I was patient in the beginning I am not seeing one bit of advancement here!

We've talked about it, we've offered incentives (there is a wrapped present sitting on the towel rack for the very first poop in the potty ) We used stickers and fruit snacks for incentives for tee-tee and they worked pretty well. We have a whole house full of people ready to have a downright *PAAAARTY * if this boy will do #2 on the toilet!!!!

Help me please! I can do many things and have a pretty strong stomach, but when I come downstairs and see that he has taken off his underwear and let his *business* plop down on the floor I am ready to scream!!!

I know it all passes, but can we get this one to pass quickly? (and on the pot? )

 

[MemoryMakers2669]

I would offer him a diaper or pull up for when he is going to do it while awake and just wait it out. He is in total control here. Don't get too stressed about it really, as there usually isn't a thing you can do about it.

 

[hopesmommy]

txgirl, My sis had the same problem with my DN. He would literally let it fall out of his pants while he was running around playing. It lasted about a month. But he finally did his business in the potty. My sis had to figure out that pushing him was part of her problem (not necessarily your problem). Also your son might not like all of the attention surrounding HIS business. A friend of mine learned this with her little girl. She was taught to do her business in private by her parents. So when she started potty training she would not p**p because her parents were always there. I hope this helps.

 

[bartleby1]

If you do a search of my user name, you will find a fairly long thread on this very topic from last summer. DS did the same thing. I was really feeling the pressure because he had to be trained to start preschool and we were getting nowhere with pooping on the potty.

I finally decided to give up, lol! I put him back in pull-ups and I put his big boy underwear on his dresser for him to see (they were nemo and bob the builder, his favorites) and I told him to let me know when he was ready. We still talked about potty training and he would still pee in the potty most times. Well, a few days before we were driving to disney (yes, a two day drive with a newly potty trained kid), he came downstairs with his underwear in hand and announced that today was the day. I so didn't want to go there right before leaving for disney but he did fantastic! No accidents the whole vacation! We were shocked!

So, unfortunately, all the tricks, bribery, punishments, rewards, etc, did NOTHING for him. We had to wait until he decided to do it.

I know this doesn't help much because there really isn't much you can do but wait it out. But, I wanted to let you know that you aren't doing anything wrong and as they say, "this too shall pass".

 

[jorodopo]

If this is a control thing it might not help but.... if he wants to be behind the couch maybe you should put a potty there. Once he gets used to putting into the right "fixture" you could gradually move the fixture to the right room.

The worst case I ever saw was a friend of my oldest son. He would put it on the floor next to the toilet (we think) just to get his mom angry. It lasted for about 6 months. She tried everything and then just gave up and ignored it. Didn't even talk to him. Just cleaned it up and cleaned him up and never mentioned it. It lasted about another 2 wks and then he just started going in the right place. She didn't comment on that either cause she didn't want to bring attention but after a few weeks she said that now that he was acting like a big boy that he could have *I forget what toy*.

no matter how bad it seems it will get better. Good luck!!!

 

[rchristiansen]

My DD went through a phase last year (around 2 1/2 years old) with number 1 though!!! She'd hold it all day and then let it all out - what a mess!!!! The dr. said the same thing - put her back in pullups for about a week and mention NOTHING about going potty. She said this is usually a problem, with number 2 but it can also be an issue with number 1. After about 3-4 days of mentioning nothing, she went back to going pee on the potty and we've been good since.

 

[txgirl]

The worst case I ever saw was a friend of my oldest son. He would put it on the floor next to the toilet (we think) just to get his mom angry.

OK, now I don't feel so bad!

It wouldn't be such a big deal if it *only* took place at nap and bed. It's those times when we wear the real underwear that makes it such a mess. I guess we go back to pull-ups but he stays dry so much better in the regular underwear and is *aware* of what's going on down there if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the support.

 

[Fishy&2guppies]

We had the same problem. I finally bought DD a sleeping beauty doll that she had been wanting. I didn't wrap it, I just left it in the bathroom on the counter so she could see it, and I told her that she had to go #2 in the potty for 3 days without any accidents and then she could have it. She did it, and we have never had an accident since.

 

[susykt4]

My DS was pee trained for over a year before he finally pooped on the potty. He very rarely went in his pants, but he would ALWAYS hold it until he had his nighttime diaper on. We promised him Chuck E. Cheese when he finally did it and he talked about it constantly. FINALLY, on his 3rd birthday, he started pooping on the toilet! No idea what possessed him to start as we had long ago stopped pushing and talking about it. Whatever.

 

[crisi]

One of my girlfriends had a son who got himself so very constipated. He didn't want to use the potty, didn't want to go in a pull up. When he finally did have to go, it was painful and he'd scream. Plus the stool loosening medication wasn't fun. I wouldn't push it, no one goes to college in pull ups and the constipation may be worse than you are now.

 

[JERSEYGIRLINSI]

That's so weird, because my 22 month old ds is totally into going to p**p in the potty, with no problem at all. And I can pretty much get to 1pm everyday without any pee-pee accidents in his pants, but after that it all goes to hell in a hand bag without fail. I should tell you that I have been doing the potty training since 16 months, and for whatever reason he can not grasp the pee-pee part well. I will not rock the boat though-I really rather deal with #1 than #2 anyday. Good Luck!

 

[cruiserkaren]

Ugghh, we are going thru the same thing with DD. She'll be 2.5 in March. She always wants pony panties (my little pony) on but will not #2 in the potty. She is GREAT about #1. Wakes up dry every morning, wakes up dry from naps, goes when we are out somewhere, but for some reason pooping is a huge deal. I found that when I stressed it or got upset it seemed to make it 10 times worse. She'll tell us when she needs to go so I just put a pull up on her. She goes and does her business and then we clean her up and put pony panties back on. It's much more peaceful this way. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do when we happen to be out somewhere and it happens!

I read on another board that a good thing to do is too change them in bathroom. Instead of just rolling up the pull up with the "stuff" in there I dump it in the toilet and tell her that that is where poop goes. And I let her flush it. Maybe it'll help, maybe it won't, I don't know. Anyway, I'm glad to read I'm not alone!

 

[Laurajean1014]

Just remember: Everything is temporary.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We had that problem too. Before he started the whole potty training thing we told him he could wear a diaper but he must poop in the bathroom. Not next to the couch or anywhere else for that matter. Then when we signed him up for pre-school the next morning he told me that he didn't want to wear diapers anymore and he didn't. The only problem was the poop thing. Finally after a few times of pooping in his underwear I had a "chat" with his heiney and told the poopy that it had to go in the potty. Now the poopy knew where to go so he had no more problems! I think you just have to find out what works even if it means talking directly to the poop!

 

[glass slipper girl]

Both of my boys had trouble with this. DS #1 was pee trained for well over a year before he was poop trained. Fortunately with him he never had poop accidents in his underwear, he would wait till he had a pullup on a nap or bed time. We tried EVERYTHING...nothing worked. I was ready to smack the nurse at the peds who said "well if he always goes at nap time, have you tried putting him on the potty then?" GEEZ! Why didn't I think of that! : Did she honestly think that thought hadn't occured to me in the nearly 16 months it took to get this to happen???? He would SCREAM if you sat him on the potty. He'd tell us he wanted to poop standing up (he learned to pee standing up...wouldn't sit, wanted to do it like Daddy and honestly I didn't care if he stood on his head as long as it went in the potty! We tried praise, we tried offering rewards...honestly, no joke, after a year of trying in a moment of sheer desperation we offered a weekend at WDW, no go. I tried begging, I tried prune juice and sitting on the potty watching a movie...nothing worked. The biggest suggestion the ped would give me was that he was SO into being "big boy" that we should start telling him he wasn't REALLY a big boy, he was still a little bit baby because big boys don't poop in pullups. Didn't matter, he said "that's right. I'll be a big boy when I do it, OK?" I'm almost embarassed to say it but he started doing it when he realized I got so upset and frustrated one night that I was sitting in my room crying. (I did my best not to show him the frustration, I made sure he was busy doing something else before I had my breakdown in private but he came and found me) He asked if I was crying because he wouldn't poop. I said I was crying because I was sad that I couldn't figure out what to do to help him learn to poop. The next day DH offered a Disney Dollar for a poop and he did it. Thus began the "pay per poop program" at our house but once he decided to do it, he never had an accident.

DS #2...well, he's almost 4 now and still having issues with this. So he's at about a year too since being pee trained. I'm having a hard time with this...it just isn't fair for fate to hand me 2 difficult poopers...I paid my dues already, this is supposed to be easy this time around. He will at least sit on the potty and START to go but then he gets all excited yelling "poop is coming out!" and stops trying then says "maybe it's asleep" and refuses to sit on the potty any more. He knows when he needs to go because he hides to do it (and to him, underpants are just as good a poop recepticle as a pullup). Last night I had him stripped from the waist down for most of the night (if he has nothing on, he's less likely to have an accident). He told us he needed to go at least 6 times. He was walking around tush clenched and fighting it for all evening. At one point I sat in the bathroom with him for 40 minutes trying to get him to go. He didn't. He waited untill this morning when he could hide behind the train table while I was on the phone. : I have no idea what will work for him. We offered him a "pay per poop program" as well and he says "no thanks." The odd times he does do it we have a party, call grandma and grandpa and daddy at work get a lollipop and sticker and all that. He loves it but it isn't encouraging him to do it again...and again. I just talked to the ped (a new one) about him last week. They suggested it may be an attention thing...when I have to change him he gets my undivided attention for a few minutes, no big brother, no work or anything to distract me (even if it isn't "good attention"). Their suggestion is to discorage that. Not to make eye contact or talk to him at all while changing him. When done with change/clean up say "next time I need you to poop in the potty" and walk away then the next day suggest it's time to try (even if isn't "time") and sit in the bathroom and read a book together or something. My youngest does get a good amount of time with me just the 2 of us with my undivided attention while his big brother is at school but they think this is a way of getting the undivided attention during a time when big brother is there too. Not sure if I buy it or not but at this point I'm willing to try just about anything!

All that to say, I'm with 'ya. I wish I had an answer for you. Hang in there! It will happen eventually....(words I have to remind myself of quite often!)

 

[MomofM&M]

Ask any pediatrician about this and she'll tell you, "Your child is in control. Relax. He'll do it when he's ready."
That is SO Hard. My 3 yo DD was pee trained for almost a year before she figured out #2. I so wanted her going in the potty before our Disney cruise since I wanted her to be able to play in the clubs. We did stickers. We did prizes in the bathroom. We played the DCL DVD a billion times and talked about having to able to go on the potty before she could go to "school" on the Disney boat. She understood it all. She could probably smell my frustration. Couple that with a new baby sister and we were doomed for failure. She would poop on the potty for the sitter but then poop in her pants for me. Sometimes she would go all day without going and as soon as I came home I'd be greeted with, "Oops. I poopied in my pants, Mommy."
Finally, I just gave up. I prayed for patience and just didn't care anymore. Didn't bat an eye when she came up to me with poop in her pants. At one point DD asked, "Mommy, did you see? I poopied in my pants." After about 1 week of giving her minimal attention for the acccidents, she stopped having them. I'm convinced they really can sense our desperation. It was a huge change when I could just relax about it.
My big tip in the meanwhile is... Oxyclean. It get rids of all types of organic material with minimal involvement of your hands. I ran hot water on it first, sprinkled generously, let it sit and then rinsed. Most times I didn't have to repeat. That was probably the worst part of the toilet training process.

 

[jme829]

GLASS SLIPPER GIRL;;;Yours sound almost exactly like my son...they must be related . My guy (my youngest and only boy-maybe its a guy thing?) will be 5 in May and Just in the last month started pooping in the pot on a regular basis . He would previously go here and there, but nothing consistent. Well it was getting to the point that he would go in his pants and I would tell him "if you are going to go in your pants , you are going to have to clean it up" For a while he would say "but you're my mom" and then he'd call me the poop cleaner but eventually he started cleaning up himself (well at least trying ) I think he finally just got tired of being poopy and since Christmas he has been accident free (he was late pee training to, but once he go that he had no problems). I had bought him a Rescue Heroes hyper jet on clearance for his bday in May and he wanted it soooo bad, so I told hiim after 2 days of no accidents that if he would quit ppooping in his pants, then we would give it to him now instead of his bday. (He is really really really into Rescue Heroes). Well after 2 weeks accident free, he got his jet, and hasn't had an accident in about a month. So I don't know if that did it or if it was a combo of that and he was just finally ready, but I am just glad its over!...This will be our first trip since 99 that we are going to Disney diaper free!!! Hang in....It will work out eventually.

 

[edcrbnsoul]

Hmm I thought I had the only 4yr old on the planet still in pullups.

 

[Tissa]

I had the same problem with my ds now 8. He would always wait until he started in his pants then decide to go to the potty or he'd sit for a few seconds and let some come out and then tell me he was done only to have it come out later in his underwear. I can remember at one point being so frustrated wth him that I locked both of us in the bathroom and told him we weren't getting out until he pooped in the potty. I know TRAUMA but he was 5 by this time and he was doing it in school but not at home. He finally sat down for one second and we got out of the bathroom. He loves singing Old McDonald so we started singing that to keep him on the potty and it worked. Now at 8 anytime you hear him singing Old McDonald it's because he's in the potty

 

[Tissa]

Hmm I thought I had the only 4yr old on the planet still in pullups.

My 10 year old still wears goodnites. I don't sweat it, things will happen when they happen.