Another take-off on the flower pot idea. My DD 12 went to a party recently, and came home with a clay flower pot that she made a "cup of dirt" out of. It was an activity for the kids where they made chocolate pudding, and put it in the pot, then added crushed oreos and some gummi worms. It looked so cute! After she ate it, I got the pot to use for a plant.
I think using real silverware and plates is a wonderful idea if you have enough for all of the kids.
The goody bags are really what drives me nuts. We have so many of those little trinkets that are just laying around collecting dust. They're expensive, and the kids really lose interest in them fast. Maybe doing a theme like a "spa" or something, and giving the kids a washcloth, nail polish and things like that would be an idea.