Have you ever taken part in an intervention?

[SDFgirl]

I'll try to make this short.

My DH has a very close friend who, we believe, is an alcoholic. He is a nice guy, but he routinely "closes the bar" then lies about it, he has lost his license due to numerous DUI's, he is 29 and still living with his parents, he can't hold a job for longer than 2 weeks, etc.

The drinking is the worst thing. He never seems to have just two or three beers like the rest of us. Instead, he will drink until the bar closes or he passes out - whichever comes first.

Several people have talked to him about it, and he *kinda* admits he has a problem, but doesn't seem inclined to get any help.

DH is getting very concerned and has broached the idea of an intervention to me. I don't know what to tell him - how does someone know if an intervention is the right thing to do?

What can we do to help our friend? I know that my DH would never forgive himself if something happened to this guy, or (even worse) if something happened to someone else because of his drinking.

Sorry so long. Does anyone have any experience with this?

 

[barkley]

unless everyone (parents who allow him to live with them, those that provide him with money, rides, etc) come on board it's very hard to do.
there have to be consequences that will impact the person's life if they fail to accept the help that's being offered (and there has to be some plan in place before the intervention).

my dh's best friend went through drug/alcohol rehab after rehab after rehab but he knew his mom would always bail him out of trouble, pay his way in our out of rehab. he did a year and half at folsom prison for dui's and went right back to his ways. not until his mom died and he spent every penny, lost every possession and we and another friend (the only ones who did'nt disappear when the money was gone) said '"no-we will not support you in this lifestyle, if you continue with it we will sever all contact" did he hit his own personal "rock bottom" and seek help. he went into rehab and we hear from him from time to time telling us how well he's doing-but sadly when we don't hear from him he's likely back to his old habits. you can't change a person they can only decide to change themselves.

you can call local mental health services in your area to find out what's available and get some guidance.

best wishes