Have you ever - or do you currently 'hit' your child?

[wovenwonder]

The story high in current events makes me ill --- seeing that mother clearly beating her daughter!

Makes me wonder if anyone is willing to admit here that they use 'spanking' [which is hitting, by the way] as a form of discipline. OR have you ever just hit your child in a fit of anger. NOT beat -- just a smack, etc. [not that it is any better].

When my kids were toddlers -- I am almost certain that I had swatted their behinds on a few occasions -- although I don't particularly remember it being done. As they got older -- I found this form of discipline unacceptable. BUT, I have to admit that my 13 year old son has been getting very mouthy [testy] lately and I did backhand him across the mouth last weekend during one of his outbursts -- ofcourse, feeling terribly guilty and apoligizing for my behavior later.

 

[worm761]

spanking doesnt generally work with my son. he just looked at me and said "that didnt hurt". i was totally shocked. BUT taking away priveleges works wonders with him. he is only 6yrs old. no computer, no videos games. those kinds of things work wonders.
i do tap his bottom once in a while but just enough to get his attention. there is a HUGE difference between spanking a child and beating a child. i dont hit. i dont think that spanking is necessarily a bad thing. unless it gets carried away....and then it is no longer spanking.

oh and i dare anyone to tell me how to discilpline MY child. nobody but me and my boyfriend get to decide what is best for MY child. (can you tell i have a chip on my shoulder about this very issue???)

 

[Steve H.]

I slap my son's hand (fairly lightly) when he does things that he shouldn't be doing (e.g. throwing toys, etc.) If he does it again, he gets a "time-out". Other than that, we haven't hit DS in the past.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

When DS was younger I slapped his hands when he touched something dangerous. During the toddler years, he also received the occasional swat on the behind. He is now 8 and capable of reasoning. Therefore, his punishments have changed to reflect his maturity.

I'm not an advocate of beating your child, but there are times when a swat or two is appropriate.

 

[December99]

I know I shouldn't admit this but I'm going to - I have hit my daughter before....and after that I have gone to another room and just bawled my head out. That was a long time ago though, although I have backhanded her across the mouth also in the past couple of years but not brutally beat on her and hit her. I think I've done more screaming in the past couple of years than I've ever wanted to. But the last time that I hit her I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. I figured out that I was pretty depressed and just couldn't handle anything - all thanks to some meds I was on that messed up my hormones....

But I never hit her to the extent that that mom did...but watching that video and seeing the little girls feet flailing up and down while she was getting hit reminded me of when I was growing up and when I got hit....sometimes pretty severely. And I could just feel the anxiety that that little girl was having...probably trying not to cry because she might get hit again....

 

[tnkrbell]

I have spanked my Daughter twice (On the rear) And I absolutely Hated the way I felt!!! That is when I decided I would never hit her again!! I feel how can you teach a child that he or she should not hit and you do??!!! I just dont think its right.
You know I think if any of us who spank,hit ect... Saw a video of us doing it we would never do it again!!! (Even though its not punching it is still hitting)

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I've spanked my kids when they have been outright rebellious and have showed lack of respect. The last time I spanked my dd was when she was nine, and my ds when he was 11. I did not spank them in anger, but I did mete out the punishment -- I had told them before that if they did a certain action, expect to be spanked. They did it anyway, and so they were spanked.

They knew that what they did was wrong, and after I spanked them, I told them that I did not enjoy doing that, but that certain types of behaviour were totally unacceptable in our home, and if they did it again, I would spank them again.

Of course, they're 13 & 14 now, and honestly, I have only had to ground each of them a couple of times over the past few years. I usually just have to talk to them, and they change their behavior for the better (errr, most of the time). Once in awhile, I do yell, but I don't like to do that as that is another symbol of losing control... Of course, if you were to hear it from them, they'd probably say I yell a lot.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

DH and I practice Gentle Discipline with DD. DH used to spank DD, but when we talked about it after the fact he realized that he did it when he was really frustrated with her or tired after a long day. I have found that if I get mad I take a moment and remind myself of her age and then use distraction or some other method. This works very well with Avery.

 

[snoopy]

That method works well for my kids, too, Jenn Lynn.

 

[doxdogy]

I think I spanked the daughter one time. She was trying to climb out of the grocery cart, and I swatted her on the bottom and told her to sit down. We were fortunate in the fact that we just had to give her the "look" and she would behave.

 

[supercarrie]

When I was younger, I was spanked occasionally for misbehaving. My mom has also slapped me across the face once or twice when she lost her temper (this was when I was 13 or so) and felt horrible about it afterwards, and started crying. Looking back on it, though, I had a real attitude problem, and I probably would have gotten smacked by one of my friends, not just her, for the things I said.

 

[Eeyore2U]

DS got spanked when we he was young. If I tried it at 16 he'd probably bop me in the nose.

 

[Lynn CC]

I grew up being "spanked"....hair pulled etc. by my mother, never by my father.

I have NEVER spanked my DS (who is 15). DH has NEVER spanked him either.

We think it is rediculous and unnecessary to raise a hand to a child. When I see it I always feel empathy for the child who is being hit.

 

[Serena]

I have spanked my girls and they'd make fun of me later because it didn't hurt. But I have once or twice smacked my oldest in anger. Then spent an hour in my bedroom crying afterwards.
No way am I proud of it. Normally I have much more control than that. I don't know what happened.

I haven't done either in a long time, if I get that angry, I walk away, or I drive away, until I cool off.

 

[Nancy]

Wow! I am surprised at all the honesty here, when spanking is not politically correct!
I have given the girls swats on the behind when they were younger..never in anger though. My oldest DD did get a slap in the mouth a few years ago..I heard "Oh well" one too amny times when I was trying to discipline her, she was warned and kept at it..(trying to push my buttons and see if I'd walk away and leave her alone) Got a slap from me and when she said "that hurt" I said (very mature of me) "Oh well!"

Since they have gotten older I very rarely even yell at them...I have learned how to pick my battles.

 

[shortbun]

Nope-we don't use physical discipline.
It's harder, I admit to think about appropriate
and linked consequences for unacceptable
behavior but that's what we do.
If DS is violent or mouthy, he loses the
screen time he cherishes because as I
explain to him-cartoon characters are not
nice to each other and while he's thinking
about his behavior, I don't want him to see
cartoons and think their behavior is OK.
Often, we use positive things to encourage
behavior changes. We keep scholastic book
orders until room cleaning becomes a habit
or DS gets to choose the dinner menu for
a night or two if he remembers to clear the
table three nights in a row without being
reminded. This week, he's working on the
final cleanup of the yard and we're actually
giving him extra allowance so he can buy
something he wants. He's working his
behind off for $9 and I would have paid the
neighbor girl $20 for the same job!
For something really severe-I'm not sure
what-or when I'm really mad...he OR I go
take a break in our rooms and process.
I'm curious-to you guys who spank-
what is a spankable offense? Maybe
Ds just doesn't go to those extremes.
mimi

 

[Jeff in BigD]

I don't have kids, but I think Mary Jo is spot on. Some kids need spanking, some don't, it's as simple as that.

 

[believe]

Spanking is a last option for me. I try time-out, taking things away, reasoning, sending them to their room, talking to them about it, raised voice, etc. before I spank. I make sure I am not doing it out of anger. They have been times that I have been so angry that I send myself to my room to think things through.

I'm curious-to you guys who spank-what is a spankable offense?

For me there is not a 'spankable' offense, it is when nothing else is working. These are very rare occassions for me since my children are young.

 

[Serena]

I would try everything under the sun before I got to spanking, but sometimes it was the only thing that worked.

 

[JasonLyons]

I spank, I wish my dad would have did time outs on me, lol