Have You Ever Had a Long Distance Relationship & How Did it Work Out?

[summerrluvv]

I have been dating someone off and on for the past six months. He is moving to FL tomorrow, which changes things a bit, but we both want to continue the relationship. I personally have no desire to move to FL ever, but there is hope that he would move back to NY someday, so I'm optimistic. I'm not the "clingy, I need you here every second of the day" type, so I know that won't be an issue for me. I am going to WDW next month and he is meeting me there for Valentines Day, so that will be nice

Just looking for anyone who wants to share their experience with long distance relationships.

 

[CathrynRose]

Just looking for anyone who wants to share their experience with long distance relationships.

Welllll.... yes I did. And (not to be a bubble burster) it didnt go good.

I dated him for 2 years - him in Texas, me here in Chicago. We talked of marriage, kids, etc, etc...

We were to go to (guess where?) WDW the next day. He called. He "just didnt know anymore" ????? Know WHAT anymore?

He got married (to someone else) one month later.

Now - my case, of course this guy was a liar - but I wasnt aware of it, until that day.

 

[summerrluvv]

Welllll.... yes I did. And (not to be a bubble burster) it didnt go good.

I dated him for 2 years - him in Texas, me here in Chicago. We talked of marriage, kids, etc, etc...

We were to go to (guess where?) WDW the next day. He called. He "just didnt know anymore" ????? Know WHAT anymore?

He got married (to someone else) one month later.

Now - my case, of course this guy was a liar - but I wasnt aware of it, until that day.

Oh dear, that's not a happy ended

Thanks for sharing

 

[ceiligh1]

It can work out but it take a lot of trust and some commitment to it. I dated my DH for a year and then he moved 4 1/2 hours away due to a job in another state where neither of us wants to be. I was still in college with 2 years to go so I could not move. We would either drive or take the train to see each other on weekends. During the summer I was a little closer (3 hours) as I had a very good summer job at a hospital in my hometown. About 6 months after I graduated I moved to his town and we were married about 2 years later (it took that long to save for the wedding). I think it depends on how honest you are with each other and you really have to work on the communication factor. A lot of misunderstandings can occur through IM or email that wouldnt happen otherwise. It is not as easy as an intown relationship. You cant be as spur of the moment and if you do go visit you have to plan your life a lot more around those trips. For me it worked out, for my college roomate and her long distance relationships it did not.

 

[tubachick]

ceiligh1 hit it right on the head.

DH and I started out in chicago together, then I moved to St. Louis, and we met on weekends mid way for a while, lots of phone bills for long distance calls, but we trusted each other and tried to talk to eachother often. wasn't everyday, but when we did it was for hours.

After 2 years, I moved back to chicago and 5 months later we were engaged. took 4 years before we got married, but thats a different story and had more to do with money than anything else, but it can work out with a lot of TRUST.

 

[LBAK]

I went away to college, a 19 hr drive from home here on Long Island. I think my parents were relieved as they thought it would put an end to the relationship. (I used to get the "You're too young to get serious" talk) Anyhoo, It's 27 years later, 21 years married and we're still together. It was hard work,it had it's ups and downs but it was definitely worth it. Good Luck!

 

[Disney Ella]

DH and I had a long distance relationship for one year because he graduated from college a year before I did. It was not easy at all, and I think long distance relationships have the best chance of working if there is a firm date when you will be together again and if the time you spend apart doesn't start running into years.

 

[RUDisney]

My best friend and her DH dated long-distance for their entire relationship. He was at West Point, she was in college in PA. He was stationed in Boston, she was in medical school in Philadelphia. They got married the weekend after she graduated and moved to Texas for her residency and his position with the army.

After 2 kids, he had to move to war training school. She stayed in NY, where she had a great job and he'd be returning. The kids lived with him and she worked 4 days a week and was with them 3 days per week for a year.

They are all living under one roof again and know that the military can take him overseas at any moment, but they know that they'd get through it.

My experience, OTOH, of dating one of her classmates in medical school for 2 years, with 2.5 hours between us, didn't end so well. The jerk went to WDW with my family and then he broke up with me the next week.

All in all, it worked out for the best. I've got a great DH and 2 wonderful kids.... I haven't thought about him in a long time, until this post brought up the memory.

Good luck in your endeavors with your boyfriend.

 

[CathrynRose]

I haven't thought about him in a long time, until this post brought up the memory.

.

Thats how I felt too....

Mine was a loooong time ago - 8 or so years. I wonder how his life turned out...kinda hoping his wife up and left him one day and got married one month later!

 

[SleepyMom]

When DH and I started dating we lived about 3 1/2 hours from each other, not a really long distance, but enough that we were only able to see each other on weekends or holidays. That went on for 1 1/2 years, lots and lots of phone calls and letters/cards during that time. I think it helped cement things for us, because we spent time talking about things that mattered to us and got to really know one another.

I finally moved 2 1/2 hours south and he an hour north, a few months later we married and here we are 15 years later.

 

[Doodlebug939]

I believe that long distance relationships can work out just fine. I have been married for almost 12 years and my husband is in the military. He is gone more then he is home. Even when we dated there was three states that seperated us. Some days it really sucked when I was alone on Friday night. But then again I was 19 at the time. As an adult I can appreciate time to myself or with my children. I love to watch chick flicks and DH does not. So when he is gone that is my time to soak in the tub and watch a movie.

I have seen people who sleep in the same bed and might as well be 5 states away because there is so much distance. So it really is what you both put into it. And hey when you are together you really appreciate that time because you know that it wont last long.

Everytime my husband comes home from a trip I still get butterflies in my stomach. And I fall in love with him all over again.

 

[Tink's Pixieduster]

Mine didn't work out. I'll spare you the gory details.

 

[supercarrie]

I was in one for 8 months - we were fine apart, but being together for a continuous length of time is when I realized it wasn't working out! We remain friends though.

Now I am starting the long-distance phase with my boyfriend of several months (who lives in London.) I just returned to CA after being in London since August, and I will return in June. He is coming to visit me in April. So it is going to be 3 months and then 2 months apart before I return in London from June-December. We have agreed to go into it knowing that it is very difficult and with open minds. I think since we have a foundation already (as it didn't start out long distance), both are willing to put in the extra time it takes (lots of communication!), and have a fixed date when we will be together again, we should be fine. I also have the goal of moving to London permanently after college so at least I can look at the future and see the potential for us to end the long distance at some point.

Many people think I am crazy for even attempting to keep the relationship going - I hear many negative comments about it. I just try to ignore them and know that I am doing what is best for me - I would rather try and see what happens than never take the chance and regret it!

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

A year and a half apart in college - married 35 years!

 

[summerrluvv]

Many people think I am crazy for even attempting to keep the relationship going - I hear many negative comments about it. I just try to ignore them and know that I am doing what is best for me - I would rather try and see what happens than never take the chance and regret it!

That's how I feel. If it doesn't work out, at least I attempted it.

Thanks again for sharing all your experiences

 

[LK03]

Me and my DH had one year together then I left for college four hours away. I'd come home about every two weeks and he'd come up and visit and then he moved to Kentucky which was five hours from home and 7 hours from school. I visited twice and he visited twice then he left for bootcamp, after four months of not seeing him, we saw each other three times in a month and then he left for Iraq and I didn't see him for eight months. It was weird not having to say goodbye to him after I graduated college after a week, but it's so great. We have a lot of trust from being apart and can appreciate each other when we leave for a week and come home from visiting family for example.

 

[Philadisney]

mine didn't work out, but it was my fault. we were in college and he was three hours away and made the drive up every weekend (i had no car). but i found myself resenting that i had to put aside every minute of every weekend to spend with him. i couldn't take a couple hours to get lunch with girlfriends or go shopping, because what would he do with himself? we dated for 1.5 years and are still incredibly good friends. in fact, we took a trip to WDW together in last march, a year after we broke up, and had a great time as friends! my current DBF (who lives less than 30 minutes from me) & I are going to DC in a month and having a double date with my ex and his new girlfriend, and i'm looking forward to meeting her. it is of course worth a try, and good luck to you

 

[MagicKingdom05]

summerrluvv,

I just wanted to say good luck and chime in about my long distance relationship that I just got into. I don't know if you saw my Las Vegas trip report last Thursday, but I met Jennifer the first evening of my Vegas trip and we hit it off right away. It was so weird because from the moment Jennifer and I met, we formed this really close bond with each other to the point were we found it so easy to talk about anything. We had only known each other for a few hours, but yet it felt like we had known each other our entire lives. We both trust each other so much that we want to give this relationship a chance. We both agreed that no matter what happens, we are going to remain great friends, but we feel very strongly that this is something that we both want to try and see if we can make it work. Since the trip, we have been in constant contact with each other atleast once a day sometimes twice by phone and by e-mail as well. She is from Minnesota and I'm from Illinois, but we are both willing to do whatever we can to make this work. We do have a Valentines weekend trip planned for Vegas and after that we will take it one month at a time.

 

[Mishetta]

I didn't have a long distance relationship but I introduced a work friend to my best friend who was coming to visit me in CA. She had been my best friend since H.S. & years after H.S. I moved to CA. Then I met this guy at work & I always thought that they would be so perfect for each other. Well, one day she called to tell me she was going to visit me for a week in CA so I asked my work friend if he was interested in coming to my house to meet my friend & maybe we could all go out to dinner. Well, my DH & I & my best friend & my work friend all got together & it was just as I imagined....they hit it off immediately! I barely saw her the rest of the week that she was supposedly visiting me & he took time off work to be with her. Well, their relationship carried on for a few years. They would save up all their vacation time to plan several trips throughout the year to be together. They would have some really romantic long weekends & week long vacations together all over the U.S. On the phone almost daily (big, big phone bills) & one day while they were vacationing (I forgot where now) & mountain climbing....he proposed to her at 4000 ft! She was so surprised & so excited, she almost fell off the mountain! Anyway, they've been happily married (he moved to the Detroit area shortly after they married) for about 7 years now & they have plans to adopt a baby this year too.

If it's meant to be, it can work out. Good luck to you!

 

[Stacerita]

Long distance relationships can work if both persons are willing to put in the effort for it. My current BF lives almost 2 hours away. That may not seem like that far, but when you work full time and both are full time parents, having spare time to drive that isn't that easy. And since both our kids are involve with different activites, weekends aren't easy either. But, for the 8 months we've been together we have made it work. We may not see each other often, but we talk all the time, send emails, letters, messages, small "thinking of you" gifts. Plus, we make plans to go away and do things. Both with and without kids. We've done camping trips, beach trips, Vegas, or just making the trip to each others home to spend time. Its something we both work at though. Lots of compromises and trust have to be there. It can work if you work at it. If not, then at least you tried.