Have you ever gone to a function where you had to PAY for soda???

[sha_lyn]

Nope.

Picked up DS from a kiddie birthday party and was told what my share of the event came to, though. Nothing on the invites, nothing when dropping off, but when we picked up, we were all told what we owed.

I would have turned right around and told them how much they owed for the present you bought

 

[Quiksilvr]

We had this dilemma when planning our wedding. We were planning on providing soft drinks but couldn't decide about cash bar v. open bar. For us it became a monetary thing. The venue where we had our reception (five star hotel) was a little crazy about the drinks. A complete open bar was something like $50/pp above the cost of the meal. Our families are not heavy drinkers so we just couldn't justify an extra $6,000 on the reception so that my college friends could have the option of a margarita or a whiskey sour if they felt like having one. An open "soft drink bar" was like $12/pp, so we did that. We then paid for beer or wine on a per drink basis and just left the liquors out.

We never would have considered a cash soda bar.

 

[SeaSpray]

Oh it gets better... This wedding reception is for a couple who are (very active) senior citizens, and who have already been living together for the last 2 years. They still have, and will continue to have, 2 households because he's from Canada, and she's from here. They spend winters in Florida, and then the summer in Canada, and spring and fall in Massachusetts. They don't *need* anything; even before we got to the reception I was surprised that people of their age, and in their position (2 fully stocked households), would not have put "No Gifts, please" on the invitations.

Also, they actually got married 2 days ago, today was just the reception. (I have no idea why they got married 2 days ago, apparently in the backyard, with only their children present).

Anyway...I was shocked that there were no "free" beverages. Oh, there was a coffee pot set up (the food itself was catered and served buffet style), but it's hot here today and I did not want coffee. I didn't even want it with the cake! lol

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nope.

Picked up DS from a kiddie birthday party and was told what my share of the event came to, though. Nothing on the invites, nothing when dropping off, but when we picked up, we were all told what we owed.

Did you actually pay?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I agree!! Even cash bars at weddings are tacky but to have to pay for soda too is just unreal!

I agree also! How can they not provide anything?!!!! Disgusting!

 

[lil mermaid]

We had this dilemma when planning our wedding. We were planning on providing soft drinks but couldn't decide about cash bar v. open bar. For us it became a monetary thing. The venue where we had our reception (five star hotel) was a little crazy about the drinks. A complete open bar was something like $50/pp above the cost of the meal. Our families are not heavy drinkers so we just couldn't justify an extra $6,000 on the reception so that my college friends could have the option of a margarita or a whiskey sour if they felt like having one. An open "soft drink bar" was like $12/pp, so we did that. We then paid for beer or wine on a per drink basis and just left the liquors out.

We never would have considered a cash soda bar.

But it sounds like you didn't actually make people pay for their drinks. You provided beer, wine and soda. What you provided is perfectly acceptable, IMO.

In the OP's case, if someone wanted anything to drink at all, they had to pay. THAT is pretty tacky!

 

[lil mermaid]

Oh it gets better... This wedding reception is for a couple who are (very active) senior citizens, and who have already been living together for the last 2 years. They still have, and will continue to have, 2 households because he's from Canada, and she's from here. They spend winters in Florida, and then the summer in Canada, and spring and fall in Massachusetts. They don't *need* anything; even before we got to the reception I was surprised that people of their age, and in their position (2 fully stocked households), would not have put "No Gifts, please" on the invitations.

Also, they actually got married 2 days ago, today was just the reception. (I have no idea why they got married 2 days ago, apparently in the backyard, with only their children present).

Anyway...I was shocked that there were no "free" beverages. Oh, there was a coffee pot set up (the food itself was catered and served buffet style), but it's hot here today and I did not want coffee. I didn't even want it with the cake! lol

While I completely agree that making guests pay for drinks is tacky as well as unthoughtful, I don't understand why you think they shouldn't receive gifts. Wedding gifts aren't necessarily about "need" - or age for that matter. And if they had put "no gifts please" on the invitation, some people would have been ticked off at that, because it is technically rude as it dictates to wedding guests what they should do with their money.

I think it is lovely that two people of that age found each other, and I personally would have given them something nice to wish them well (though, I would have been miffed about the drink thing!)

If you don't want to give them a gift, then don't.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Having DJ'd at over 200 weddings, and attending another 20 as a guest, I have never heard of anybody charging for soda.

 

[RitaZ.]

Yes, we went to a wedding where we were charged for soda. It was $2+ for a small glass of diluted soda. We expected a nice reception because the bride went on and on about how much $ her imported silk gown had cost. I guess most of the wedding budget was spent on the imported gown. We were starving and left early. It was the worst wedding we've ever attended.

 

[froglady]

When we were married, soft drinks, coffe, & tea were included with the meal.

We did NOT have an open bar, because the venue had a bottle charge, ie, if only one guest asked for a specific brand of scotch and soda, we had to pay for the whole bottle; same with whiskey (if one asked for Southern Comfort, another for Jack Daniels, and another for Johnnie Walker, we would have to pay for three bottles)

So, we served punchbowls of Daiquiris (a popular drink at the time) whiskey sours, and one more choice, along with light appetizers, during the cocktail hour. (and while our pictures were being taken, and the redeiving line was set up)

Then, we had unlimited beer and wine during the sit-down meal, along with Champagne for the toast, but a cash bar for hard liquor,

It used to be the tradition for guests to "send" drinks to the head table, as the wedding party didn't really carry any money.

 

[Disney Hot Mama]

I've been to events where there was no soda provided but there was always water/tea/coffee.

How odd to offer NOTHING to drink.

As noted above the usual at catered events here at least (So CA) is water/coffee/hot tea and ice tea. I organize large luncheons for a non-profit group annually. We have over 1000 in attendance so I have worked with very large hotels over the past 10 years. If an attending guest wants soda or wine/beer/cocktail they do pay out of pocket but we do provide the other drinks. This has been in all the contracts I have worked with.

To not provide anything is a it strange.....

 

[PatsGirl]

Actually, I've lived in New England for most of my life and I think maybe just a handful of receptions were "open bar". I have nearly always paid for alcoholic drinks. Sodas, I'm not sure though because I have never taken my children to a wedding (most of my friends/relatives do the "no kid" weddings as did I).

For my wedding in 1989 I had a bottle of red wine (chianti) and white wine (chardonnay) at each table to be replaced as necessary. We also paid for unlimited draft beer, but hard liquor was cash bar. My guests thought having the beer and wine was great! I can't imagine having an open bar for all guests, at least not with the friends I had in 89'

 

[Saphire]

I can accept the fact that I may have to pay for a soda. But it is really, really hard to understand a wedding where there is no meal served. Especially if you have traveled to get there. I know it is a regional thing, but I don't understand it.

 

[arminnie]

As noted above the usual at catered events here at least (So CA) is water/coffee/hot tea and ice tea. I organize large luncheons for a non-profit group annually. We have over 1000 in attendance so I have worked with very large hotels over the past 10 years. If an attending guest wants soda or wine/beer/cocktail they do pay out of pocket but we do provide the other drinks. This has been in all the contracts I have worked with.
To not provide anything is a it strange.....

I learned never to be surprised at what happened when I lived in Northern California (most of my adult life).

The one wedding that I went to where there was a charge for all drinks was in Northern California. Not even free coffee, water or tea. I was really surprised and was caught off guard.

I knew the groom fairly well but was only invited because I was the date of the best man. I know they were really trying to cut costs, but I was surprised that there wasn't even a water fountain available.

Another time I was invited to a friend's home to honor a couple who had gotten married and was shocked to be told the amount I owed at the end of the evening - and these people were very well to do.

Another time the bride's mother and sister (again very comfortable) had a shower at a very inexpensive restaurant and then split the bill at the end of the evening - no warning.

 

[sha_lyn]

I can accept the fact that I may have to pay for a soda. But it is really, really hard to understand a wedding where there is no meal served. Especially if you have traveled to get there. I know it is a regional thing, but I don't understand it.

Punch and cake receptions are the norm here, or were until the last 10 yrs or so.

Growing up the typical reception would be cheese straws, mints, nuts, cake and punch in a church fellowship hall. Sometimes egg or chicken salad finger sandwiches and or chips and dip. By my early 20's it was common to see mini ham & biscuits, veggie and/or fruit trays. Absolutely no alcohol at all.
Even when my grandmother remarried about 15 yrs ago at home she was told that even with the reception being outside of the church that a Southern Baptist preacher could not officiate if alcohol would be served. I'm certain I will get someone saying I am lying, but yes here in NW GA(at least up until 15 yrs ago), a southern Baptist preacher will not perform the ceremony if alcohol will play any part in the reception.

Never had a hot meal at a wedding until one MI about 13 yrs ago. Have only been to 2 weddings here in GA with hot meals, both within the last couple of yrs. Those are also the only weddings in GA I have attended with alcohol.
1st was my cousin who is catholic, bride is methodist. Married in methodist church with reception at a country club.
2nd was a wedding at a private venue. bride pagan/groom atheist.

Oh and the tackiest reception. Nephews reception on South Padre Island, TX.
2 Lt cokes in the bottles, opened bags of chips and subway sandwiches.
We were the only family to come on grooms side other than his father because DH's family knew that their religion would not allow alcohol. Heck most of DH's family refused to go to high school graduation parties for that side since that BIL's religion won't allow alcohol. Heck I thought it was ridiculous for adults to expect alcohol at someones high school graduation party anyway.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

DH and I just got back from a wedding where not even the soda was free. Geesh. DH had to run out an ATM during the reception just so we could have a drink with our meal!!

I've never heard of, or been to, a function where the hosts didn't at least include some sort of beverage, even if they wanted to do a cash bar.

Anyone else??????

Are you kidding?

Where was the wedding held? Did you have to pay for your meal?

 

[debster812]

Well now that I am secure in the knowledge that I am quite possibly the tackiest person on the DIS, I'll say I'm not surprised.

Most weddings I can remember that were not open bar charged for EVERYTHING from the bar. Beer, wine, mixed drinks, specialty drinks, and soft drinks.

Our wedding was exactly the same. Hi I'm Debbie, and apparently I am a tacky New Englander.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

yup. worst wedding ever. it is why we do not seal a wedding envelope gift until after we get to the reception. cheap reception? then maybe the gift may get a little lighter........

 

[acadia1960]

Back when I was married (1983), there was an open bar. My dad hired a bartender & provided all the drinks you could think of. That was the biggest expense for the wedding. All weddings I went to until the mid 90's, were open bars, here in Maine.

 

[Mickey527]

I am from the North East and have never gone to a wedding and had to pay for anything. Every wedding has been open bar throughout the entire event.
I don't know where you have heard that it is a North East or New England thing. Not in CT at least.