Have you ever been to a wedding where the bride's mother is the Matron of Honour?

[Lovely2CU]

My SIL's granddaughter is getting married and told her today that her Mum (MOTB) is going to be the MOH. My SIL thinks the mother of the bride is too old, she is only in her thirties!!! Not something I have ever heard of or seen before, but why not, it's up to the couple getting married who they choose to be attendants.

 

[suzannen]

Yes - my sister asked my mom to be her MOH. It was a small wedding and she only wanted one attendant and instead of having to decide between her 2 sisters and her 2 best friends, and have hurt feelings among them, she asked my mom. My mom was so thrilled and excited, and she was 55 years old at the time. It was a wonderful ceremony and both bride and MOH looked beautiful and cried - as did we all.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I have not, but I think it's a wonderful idea! People should choose the ones they love the most to stand for them at weddings and if a girl is super close to her mother I think it's fabulous.

 

[Arielle22]

A coworker was her DD's MOH last summer. She was in her early 50's and nervous about how she would look. She really looked fabulous in the gown.

When my sister married her FIL was the Best Man. He was in his late 60s and thrilled with the honor.


I see nothing the matter with either scenario.

 

[agnes!]

My SIL's granddaughter is getting married and told her today that her Mum (MOTB) is going to be the MOH. My SIL thinks the mother of the bride is too old, she is only in her thirties!!! Not something I have ever heard of or seen before, but why not, it's up to the couple getting married who they choose to be attendants.

I'm with you, your SIL (Sister in Law?) should butt out, it's really none of her business.

Heck, maybe she should just be glad the girl's getting married at all .

agnes!

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I haven't seen the Mother as MOH but my husband had his Dad as Best Man. I thought it was sweet. And dh has been BM in 2 of his Dad's weddings

I think the bride should do whatever feels right to her.

 

[LuvOrlando]

The whole point of girlfriends is they are supposed to side with you when you're mad at your family or DH. Having a mother as a full fledged confidant is bad, bad, bad mojo.

In laws can be hard enough but no healthy boundaries = 3 way marriage = trouble.

PS- I wouldn't dream of telling a bride what to do. But, if it was my DS marrying the girl I'd feel obligated to tell him to run.

 

[Muushka]

I have never heard of that!

But then again I had never heard of the groom asking their dad to be the best man. Seems that in this neck of the woods (in the south) or maybe it is just my husband's family, it is a custom.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

it should be about who you are closest to and who you want up there with you - age shouldn't be a consideration. I think it is wonderful and sweet!

 

[Scurvy]

I haven't been to a wedding where that was the case, but I've heard of them. I think it's sweet! If I hadn't been so close to my sister, I might have chosen my mother as my Matron of Honor since I am close to her and would have had trouble choosing between my close female friends.

I've been to several weddings where the groom's father was the Best Man, and I don't see that is any different. In those weddings, at least, the men involved did have other close male friends. However, they also were very close to their fathers and wanted them to stand up with them at their wedding. I see no reason to be concerned about the bride not having healthy boundaries, and if my son was marrying a girl who chose her mother as her Matron of Honor I wouldn't think twice about it, except possibly to be glad that she values family so much.

 

[browneyes106]

I went to a wedding sometime back in which the groom's father was the best man. The couple getting married have been in the military for 10 years and they are always moving around and so they don't have many close friends so that's why the dad was chosen as best man.

 

[MouseMomx2]

My grandmother was my Matron of Honor and I wouldn't do it any differently today.

 

[Meriweather]

I haven't, but it is supposed to be your best friend, so why not??

 

[Amy&Dan]

Yes I have. It was second marriage, she had her mom as matron of honor, he had his dad as best man.

I told this gal how cool I thought that was and she told me that she and her fiancee both having been married before had noticed how after marriage, friends changed. Both of them had lost touch with thier respective honor attendants during that first marriage. And when both those marriages began to disolve, it was her mom for her, and his dad for him, that were there for them and saw them through those dark days of divorce. When they eventually met and decided to marry, they both realized there was no other people they could think of that would be the better honor attendants.

My sister was my maid of honor when I got married. It was a formality on my part, boy if I had it to do all over again, I would have had my mom standing up there with me. She was truly my best friend and biggest support in all my life. It would have been perfect!

Times have changed with attendnats. I remember the days when you couldn't have a bridesmaid who was pregnant, when red and black were no no colors to wear to a wedding and now all of that has changed. I think its a good thing!

 

[bgirldeb]

I haven't personally,but I don't see the problem. Plus, of course it's the Bride's decision

 

[bumbershoot]

If my mom were alive when I got married I might have considered her as MOH.

But MOH is so weird anyway. You're supposed to pick your closest friend, but it seems like so many best friends just create drama. Every wedding I've been a b'maid in, the MOH is off in her dream world while everyone else supports and helps the bride. One bride had a LOT of work for her friends/attendants, and I was there for all of it (MOH showed up for the wedding). One MOH was too busy with her makeup while I helped the bride figure out how to keep her slip from falling off. My own MOH was too busy telling me I was bridezilla (b/c I wanted crazy things like to *talk* about things, while my vendors were telling me I was the most easygoing bride) and then my MOH started drinking at around 9am and caused my gown to rip later on.

The attendants shouldn't have to *work*, but they should be available for *help*, and I've never met a MOH who was willing to HELP at all yet!

So to choose a beloved mom...that seems a better bet to have someone supportive, happy for you, and, you know, might go find a safety pin for you (or bring the "emergency kit" that you were gifted TO the ceremony/reception spot, instead of leaving it in the hotel and not be able to drive since she'd been drinking since 9am).


As for bad mojo, meh. I talked to my friends about fluffy things like dating nonsense etc. I currently talk to my husband about marriage stuff (having counseling while still engaged sure does help with communication!); I don't tell anyone anything he doesn't already know. I would have LOVED to have my mom up there with me, though actually she would have been giving me away instead.

Having your mom as a close close friend doesn't mean there are boundary issues. Might just mean mom is a good person.



I take it SIL's granddaughter's mom is...SIL's daughter? DIL? I think SIL needs to just chill. Granddaughter has her own reasons. Trust in them.

 

[Amy&Dan]

The attendants shouldn't have to *work*, but they should be available for *help*, and I've never met a MOH who was willing to HELP at all yet!

.

Ain't it the truth! My MOH, my sister, spent spent most of the time before my wedding out smoking in the parking lot with her friend. After the ceremony, she disappeared and I had to schlep all of her stuff and mine from the brides dressing room (that was clothes, make up bags, curling irons, all sorts of stuff since we had gotten ready at the church) into dh's and mine's car. It was 95 degrees and here I am in a long satin dress with this crazy train and veil making mulitple trips out to the car to load all this stuff in because the custodian was going to lock the place up. I should have left all her stuff in there but then I'd still be hearing about that 18 years later so I guess I did the right thing!

If she ever gets married I am going to do her the colossal favor of saying "I won't be your MOH because I am afraid I'll be as helpful as you were and I love you too much to be that mean!"

Bottom line, pick somebody who has your best interest and happiness in their heart. Which a mom usually does!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

This is going to sound sexist, but here I go. A man KNOWS who his best friend is - that is, men who actually have friends. I know too many women who have told me that they have too many close friends to be able to identify one as their "best" friend. Still, they all managed to pick a MoH.

So, if a woman doesn't have a "best" friend or is afraid to choose, choosing her mother takes off all of the pressure. But if your mother is your best friend (directed to guys and gals out there), you need to get out more...

 

[RadioNate]

I've seen TONS of dad's as the best man. I'm nearly positive I saw one mother as MOH but I can't remember who's wedding that was.

 

[Amy&Dan]

This is going to sound sexist, but here I go. A man KNOWS who his best friend is - that is, men who actually have friends. I know too many women who have told me that they have too many close friends to be able to identify one as their "best" friend. Still, they all managed to pick a MoH.

So, if a woman doesn't have a "best" friend or is afraid to choose, choosing her mother takes off all of the pressure. But if your mother is your best friend (directed to guys and gals out there), you need to get out more...

Not sexist, but in my book wrong! My mom was my mom. We had certain lines we didn't cross because hey, she was my mom. But she had a spot in my heart that could be described as my best friend. She and I were always happy for the other one (never jealous or judgemental) and as she lay dying two years ago, I sat by her side and she told me "you have been my best friend and my daughter" We got out plenty. Enough to know that a best friend isn't something that has to be one thing and not anything else. Its unique.

I have had a lot of female friends and for sure one of them was "my best friend" in that category. But compared to the relationship with my mom, she really wasn't. Because that relationship I had with my mom was absolutely the best thing that I ever had.

So I have to disagree!