Have you done a Fish Extender? Will you do it again?

[txaggie94gigem]

this is the exact reason I have not yet participated in an FE. I worry that people will think my gifts are 'crap'. i'm not crafty, had until recently very little time and could not spend 5-10 per cabin if there were more than 20 cabins.
I think the idea is lovely and I am with the group who would love to just find a surprise when they return to their room. I would not care that it was just a sticker, I can find something to do with it. candy? great, i'll take it to the theater. I don't see 'crap', I see a thoughtful gift because that person didn't have to do anything. how would I know if they didn't. as far as how much was spent compared to mine, well, would you do that at xmas? compare the price of your gift to that of what others spent on you? if you do, i'm sure glad your not on my list cause that's way to much stress for me.
again, I just worry that what I would hand out would not be seen as a 'good' gift and my vacation is way to short to stress over what people think of what should be a fun game.

We love stickers to save for scrap booking and all kids and me love tattoos! Any little surprise is welcome here!!!

 

[robin09]

see, this is the kind of post that scares me. I always worry that what I do is not good enough.... and to think that people think that what I would give isn't good enough, is enough to derail me.

THis will be my 2nd Disney cruise and 2nd FE. To be honest, I didnt keep count on who gave what... or if anyone missed me the last time. My enjoyment came from seeing my 13 year old daughter light up each time she looked at our FE and found something, whether it be a piece of candy, sticker or a pillowcase... It didnt matter what she got, it was the fact that it was there and she was thought about.

I am not a crafty person, live in a small town where shopping is 40 minutes away... and in the winters it can take an hour through the snow covered icy mountains. I do order from Oriental trading, and do think of others when purchasing.. I take into account ages, and what i think they might like.

I really feel if you lay in judgement of things, you will never enjoy the true gift of giving, you might be better off not joining the FEs.

For me the non crafty person, I will continue to join, and do my best to make the next person smile.... even if they aren't in my fe!

 

[Silverfox97]

Good job you. Well said.

I have a limited budget and I care how others feel about our gifts.

That said, if someone is going to think my stuff is just crap based on how much they think should be spent on gifts, then maybe they shouldn't participate in FE.

OP never once referenced how much she felt others should spend.

I'm not the OP, but I've had highlighters and pens wrapped with cruise stuff. Super cheap & easy. Super cute. THOUGHT was put into them. We've had come that were a little more crafty, too. We once got 2 Bic brand pens decorated and wrapped with colored duct tape. At the top of the pen, the top of the tape was brought up to look like a crown. That did not cost much at all, but it was super cool.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[MaleficentRN]

Fish extender exchanges are like a reverse Trick or Treat. You go to cabins and leave goodies. You spend what you can or make what you are able and people do the same for you. You explore the ship and see how people decorated their door or meet some people from your FE group. My DD and I enjoyed delivering the gifts and boy, did my kids get excited when we saw something in our own Fish Extender.

Back to the Trick or Treat analogy. For Halloween,you buy whatever candy you can afford or maybe make special treats for the children you know. Do you then go through the candy your kids bring home and complain that your neighbors gave them cheap candy or didn't put enough thought into what they gave out after you spend so much time making special goodies for their kids? I hope not. I hope you do it because you have fun seeing everyone having a good time.
If you don't enjoy it, turn off your light/ don't hang up your fish extender.

 

[Mom323]

Our FE group got too big. There was a tremendous of organizing, purchasing and then hauling all this stuff internationally. I was spending up to 2 hours every day trotting up and down halls depositing gifts. I then then had to pack it up all home and haul it back internationally. All for a bunch of meaningless dollar store crap I will never use. If we did something where we exchanged something homemade (even construction paper cards made by the kids etc.) I might do it again but on a much smaller scale.

I TRY to buy what I would like to receive in return, but does that mean everyone will appreciate it? No, we all like different things. That is something we all have to accept going into these things. We all would like to think the things we made or the thought we put into buying things is heartfelt, but truthfully we can't be sure. Unless someone in the group expresses their gratitude directly.

I also think FE groups need to be kept small... 10 or under. If there is more interest on the cruise, then split up into smaller exchanges. I agree that visiting 20 staterooms and spending $200 is excessive and not all that relaxing and maybe not fun at that point either.

We have done one FE, and I am organizing the second. For me it is just something fun to do and a way to share with fellow DISfreaks

Having a large FE group doesn't have to be an issue. Our FE group had well over 100 rooms. Teams of us got together to share the cost of the gifts. It was great for those who had luggage constraints. They could still participate. Delivery was easy as there where several folks in each team and we each took a floor.

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=24900019&postcount=1

Fish Mail
Fish Mail is where you get gifts during the cruise in your fish extender
You can give a gift solo anytime you like or join a team
The fish Mail teams as listed below
If you would like to be on one please PM one of the leaders or members below for more info

Giving gifts SOLO:
Luv2cruzsus
Edna ModeMilestogo
ozdisneyfan
Gouodux
Brisully
TADsMommy/TADsDaddy
TiffAshDav

TEAMS
May 10 - DAY 1
Team 1
TEAM LEADER: Tink Rules
HollyTyler

Team 2
TEAM LEADER: Mishoe01
Fourmcds
Gydell
Little aussie
Disney Rocks
Merry Mouseketeer

May 11 – DAY 2 - CASTAWAY
TEAM LEADER: Pahrumpgirl
tink1963
ibouncetoo
Threebritts
granmaz
Tigger137
Readyalready
eeyorelvr10

May 12 – DAY 3 SEA
“Royal Court Fish Team”
Tink rules
disneylover5
HollyTyler
nskjerven
Onekindman

May 13 – DAY 4 - SEA
“Geek Team”
Mrs Mork
Jhalkias
Pjpoohbear
Lillygator
LiserAnn
kimerinc

May 14 – DAY 5 - ARUBA
Ssynder
DebWills
Tigger1221

May 15 – DAY 6 - SEA
TEAM LEADER: Gydell
Making_Memories
sandiedvc
Scottishwee35

May 16 – Day 7 - PC
“Nan and the 4Ls”
TEAM LEADER: Calmom
disneylover5
mom_of_2_princesses
nskjerven
Amesmom

May 17 – Day 8 – SEA
TEAM LEADER: Txsleepingbeauty
Notsolittlemermaid
DH2DW&DS
CBEB
TracyVP

May 18 – Day 9 - SEA
TEAM LEADER: TADsMommy
Tiffashdave
txtwins2000
Githens (non-DIS/parents)
Gatorfamily
Iankh

May 19 - Day 10 - ACA
seaulater
Mom323
Dvcmike
Cquick
Ginamarie

May 20 – Day 11 - SEA
“Liberty Belles”
Ellaenchanted
Lisag520
May 21 – Day 12

TEAM LEADER: Rufustee/CruzDirectorKaren
Taysmom
Lovebeast
CameronsDad
KrisannB
Tink 58
May 22 – Day 13 - CABO
willoughbyclan
tlb2864
wldwcnwmn
Mexican-mouseketeers
surf2di4

May 23 – Day 14 - SEA
Tupperny
Mommyto3princesses
jellojatdisney
kiserfamily
Carob1

May 24 – Day 15 – SEA
Anonymous

 

[txaggie94gigem]

Lol this actually makes feel better about doing our 1st FE, I've been stressing over what gifts to get but I guess I can't please everyone.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

Don't stress! I am on your cruise too although not in your FE group....just give a little something you think you would like to receive and u will be fine!!! I liked this list too!!!!

 

[txaggie94gigem]

Having a large FE group doesn't have to be an issue. Our FE group had well over 100 rooms. Teams of us got together to share the cost of the gifts. It was great for those who had luggage constraints. They could still participate. Delivery was easy as there where several folks in each team and we each took a floor.

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=24900019&postcount=1

Fish Mail
Fish Mail is where you get gifts during the cruise in your fish extender
You can give a gift solo anytime you like or join a team
The fish Mail teams as listed below
If you would like to be on one please PM one of the leaders or members below for more info

Giving gifts SOLO:
Luv2cruzsus
Edna ModeMilestogo
ozdisneyfan
Gouodux
Brisully
TADsMommy/TADsDaddy
TiffAshDav

TEAMS
May 10 - DAY 1
Team 1
TEAM LEADER: Tink Rules
HollyTyler

Team 2
TEAM LEADER: Mishoe01
Fourmcds
Gydell
Little aussie
Disney Rocks
Merry Mouseketeer

May 11 – DAY 2 - CASTAWAY
TEAM LEADER: Pahrumpgirl
tink1963
ibouncetoo
Threebritts
granmaz
Tigger137
Readyalready
eeyorelvr10

May 12 – DAY 3 SEA
“Royal Court Fish Team”
Tink rules
disneylover5
HollyTyler
nskjerven
Onekindman

May 13 – DAY 4 - SEA
“Geek Team”
Mrs Mork
Jhalkias
Pjpoohbear
Lillygator
LiserAnn
kimerinc

May 14 – DAY 5 - ARUBA
Ssynder
DebWills
Tigger1221

May 15 – DAY 6 - SEA
TEAM LEADER: Gydell
Making_Memories
sandiedvc
Scottishwee35

May 16 – Day 7 - PC
“Nan and the 4Ls”
TEAM LEADER: Calmom
disneylover5
mom_of_2_princesses
nskjerven
Amesmom

May 17 – Day 8 – SEA
TEAM LEADER: Txsleepingbeauty
Notsolittlemermaid
DH2DW&DS
CBEB
TracyVP

May 18 – Day 9 - SEA
TEAM LEADER: TADsMommy
Tiffashdave
txtwins2000
Githens (non-DIS/parents)
Gatorfamily
Iankh

May 19 - Day 10 - ACA
seaulater
Mom323
Dvcmike
Cquick
Ginamarie

May 20 – Day 11 - SEA
“Liberty Belles”
Ellaenchanted
Lisag520
May 21 – Day 12

TEAM LEADER: Rufustee/CruzDirectorKaren
Taysmom
Lovebeast
CameronsDad
KrisannB
Tink 58
May 22 – Day 13 - CABO
willoughbyclan
tlb2864
wldwcnwmn
Mexican-mouseketeers
surf2di4

May 23 – Day 14 - SEA
Tupperny
Mommyto3princesses
jellojatdisney
kiserfamily
Carob1

May 24 – Day 15 – SEA
Anonymous

I think I Was on that cruise with you! I was on the lanyard team so didn't do a lot with FE but we had a blast! Doing the teams really works!!!

 

[Mom323]

I think I Was on that cruise with you! I was on the lanyard team so didn't do a lot with FE but we had a blast! Doing the teams really works!!!

The cruise thread is stil going. We have a poll for a reunion cruise.

 

[ladyj0212]

Not everybody can afford expensive items and you have probably just discouraged some people from participating and that I think is sad.

 

[Conorama]

Dear OP -

You've officially made me feel like 100% crap about what I've done for our FE. I work more than 50 hours a week (I'm currently working day 6 of 11 days straight before we leave - yes, I am on a short break right now), most weeks; I was finishing my thesis until 18 days ago; and I spend my spare time with my son. I am not crafty, and he doesn't like doing crafts, so I'm not going to force him.

I am sorry that the stuff I have put together fully meets your definition of crap. It, however, 100% stuff that we would expect to get and enjoy getting. Are there pirate coins included? Yes, because, in fact, my 4 year old loves them, so I (perhaps wrongly) assumed other kids of similar age would enjoy them too. I wasn't going to give them to adults. They're also light, easy to get rid of, and I could order on-line. Is there candy? Yes, but I did try to get stuff that was nice and not available in the US. Do I really have to explain that in detail to you? Our "rules" (that I did not make up) involve everyone in each room giving something to everyone in each other room, so yes, the gifts are small- do the math. I figured no one would want large stuff that was hard to pack to take home. Is it thoughtful? Well, I thought about it, and looked for stuff that met the above criteria that I could get on-line after my son went to bed. How thoughtful can it be when I'm getting gifts for perfect strangers?

To be honest, I don't want a list of fun facts about the ship - I am capable of reading on my own, thanks; nor do I think it's any more thoughtful than what a lot of people have described doing - anyone who gives pirate stuff will make my pirate-obsessed kit delighted; and thus, we'll be happy. How are Oreos not "more sugar" for a kid ... just because you could then make a blizzard with it? Could you not make a blizzard with other candy? However, if I got these gifts, I would not, in fact, be thinking awful things about the gift giver. Basically, it seems unless you got the stuff you gave to others, you would deem it thoughtless and/or crap.

Despite all of the above, you call me lazy and thoughtless. Thanks for that. You know what? I don't want a gift from someone like you who appears to be so judgmental - I don't need the guilt that is apparently part of the package, just because I spend my rare spare time with my son instead of making crafts for strangers and then expect them to meet some unreasonable expectations.

You say you don't care if others do FE, but you've gone a long way toward making people feel rotten about the process. THAT, I call "crap" and "thoughtless". Yes, you are entitled to your opinion and are 100% free to post it, but I guarantee you just made a whole lot of people feel bad.


Dear other posters (most of you):

Thanks for mostly making up for the OP.

 

[k3chantal]

Why I probably won't do another FE:
I remember seeing threads about the cool FE stuff that people have gotten and being so excited to do one. I now realize that those things are not the "norm".
I have participated in 5 Fish Extender exchanges. 2 with just DH & I, 3 with kids. Here is what I have found:

1. I care about my gifts WAY more than other people. I spend weeks working on handmade, very nice things to give out, partially because I love to give gifts and partially because I won't give out "crap".
2. MOST other people don't seem to care as much about their gifts as I do. I'm so sick of random bags of candy. That's just lazy. If there is a purpose to the candy, then please explain it, for example, if you are from Hershey, Pennsylvania, then fine, give me a chocolate bar, if not...save it.
3. I get PLENTY to eat on the ship. I don't need any more snacks. And my kids definitely don't need more sugar.
4. I don't buy Oriental Trading "crap" for my children, or their parties, I certainly don't need it from other people on a Disney Cruise.
5. I typically spend $5 - $10 per stateroom on our gifts, that's at least $100 I could use elsewhere on the ship.
6. I don't think in any of the FEs that I've participated in that I've actually gotten a gift from each cabin on the list. Whether there are neglectful people or theives onboard, I'm not sure. But on my last cruise, I made gifts for 21 cabins, and there is no way I had 21 cabins worth of "stuff".
7. I'm hearing more and more reports of people having things stolen from their FE and off their door.
8. While on a few of the cruises we have gotten a couple of very nice gifts, these are few and far between. 2 nice gifts in a group of 20 doesn't make up for the rest of the crap.
9. I have decided that the effort of making, packing, and delivering the numerous FE gifts is not worth it.

Its unfortunate, because I truly do love to give gifts. I think the things that I've given in my FEs are things that I would want to receive. I wish everyone would consider that as they are packing up their FEs for their next trip.

On our first cruise I did participate. I enjoyed it and loved the gifts. But it was work and things got really confusing because several participants changed their cabin assignments and in the end I am not sure I found everyone which made me feel guilty.

So now we are booked for 2014 on the Fantasy which is 40% larger than the Wonder (the ship we were on before). Between needing to fly and the suitcase weight restrictions there and the increase in the size of the ship, I do think I will pass on doing a fish extender this time. I will feel sad when I pass them though because I love stuff like this but my husband already made the request I not do it.

 

[reagansmom]

We are a military family stationed in Germany, would people think it cool or lame if I gave things like magnets from our military base or German candy?

I think it would be cool!

 

[reagansmom]

Dear OP -

You've officially made me feel like 100% crap about what I've done for our FE. I work more than 50 hours a week (I'm currently working day 6 of 11 days straight before we leave - yes, I am on a short break right now), most weeks; I was finishing my thesis until 18 days ago; and I spend my spare time with my son. I am not crafty, and he doesn't like doing crafts, so I'm not going to force him.

I am sorry that the stuff I have put together fully meets your definition of crap. It, however, 100% stuff that we would expect to get and enjoy getting. Are there pirate coins included? Yes, because, in fact, my 4 year old loves them, so I (perhaps wrongly) assumed other kids of similar age would enjoy them too. I wasn't going to give them to adults. They're also light, easy to get rid of, and I could order on-line. Is there candy? Yes, but I did try to get stuff that was nice and not available in the US. Do I really have to explain that in detail to you? Our "rules" (that I did not make up) involve everyone in each room giving something to everyone in each other room, so yes, the gifts are small- do the math. I figured no one would want large stuff that was hard to pack to take home. Is it thoughtful? Well, I thought about it, and looked for stuff that met the above criteria that I could get on-line after my son went to bed. How thoughtful can it be when I'm getting gifts for perfect strangers?

To be honest, I don't want a list of fun facts about the ship - I am capable of reading on my own, thanks; nor do I think it's any more thoughtful than what a lot of people have described doing - anyone who gives pirate stuff will make my pirate-obsessed kit delighted; and thus, we'll be happy. How are Oreos not "more sugar" for a kid ... just because you could then make a blizzard with it? Could you not make a blizzard with other candy? However, if I got these gifts, I would not, in fact, be thinking awful things about the gift giver. Basically, it seems unless you got the stuff you gave to others, you would deem it thoughtless and/or crap.

Despite all of the above, you call me lazy and thoughtless. Thanks for that. You know what? I don't want a gift from someone like you who appears to be so judgmental - I don't need the guilt that is apparently part of the package, just because I spend my rare spare time with my son instead of making crafts for strangers and then expect them to meet some unreasonable expectations.

You say you don't care if others do FE, but you've gone a long way toward making people feel rotten about the process. THAT, I call "crap" and "thoughtless". Yes, you are entitled to your opinion and are 100% free to post it, but I guarantee you just made a whole lot of people feel bad.


Dear other posters (most of you):

Thanks for mostly making up for the OP.

Nicely put.

 

[reagansmom]

Personally im hoping for lots of different candys as I pay to have american candy shipped to uk This would also save us buying goodies for shows etc. i live in Poole Dorset where we make sweet rock sticks, I had planned to give everyone a little stick with their main gift. Hope people will enjoy getting something from my home town?

I think that is a great idea!! We loved getting UK candy on our FE.

 

[k3chantal]

Something to think about. :

How it all started and why.

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=32102963&postcount=20




Yes I am the instigator of the Fish Extender I had NO idea that it would get this big. I still laugh when I see LONG threads about fish extenders and their gifts.

The intent is to share with other DISr's. Put a gift in and if you get a gift in return that is a bonus! I always have fun passin out the FE gifts on the cruise. But now.... I won't know who is a DIS'r and who isn't! There are other groups that have adopted the fish extender.

My favorite quote from a guest in the hallway was.... "those things hanging on the doors must mean that there are children in the room"

I am glad the tradition continues and can't believe I innocently started a phenomenon 4 years ago on the FIRST time through the Panama Canal

Debbie
__________________

I just wanted to say thank you Debbie. The fish extenders are part of the 'magic' and we all should remember the spirit it was started with.

 

[reagansmom]

not junk. I would've loved it, you put a lot of extra time into those!

We love it!!!

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

Fish extender exchanges are like a reverse Trick or Treat. You go to cabins and leave goodies. You spend what you can or make what you are able and people do the same for you. You explore the ship and see how people decorated their door or meet some people from your FE group. My DD and I enjoyed delivering the gifts and boy, did my kids get excited when we saw something in our own Fish Extender.

Back to the Trick or Treat analogy. For Halloween,you buy whatever candy you can afford or maybe make special treats for the children you know. Do you then go through the candy your kids bring home and complain that your neighbors gave them cheap candy or didn't put enough thought into what they gave out after you spend so much time making special goodies for their kids? I hope not. I hope you do it because you have fun seeing everyone having a good time.
If you don't enjoy it, turn off your light/ don't hang up your fish extender.

Excellent analogy!!!

 

[Wendy&Grumpy]

Back to the Trick or Treat analogy. For Halloween,you buy whatever candy you can afford or maybe make special treats for the children you know. Do you then go through the candy your kids bring home and complain that your neighbors gave them cheap candy or didn't put enough thought into what they gave out after you spend so much time making special goodies for their kids? I hope not. I hope you do it because you have fun seeing everyone having a good time.
If you don't enjoy it, turn off your light/ don't hang up your fish extender.

Of course! I hate it when the neighbors don't give out Godiva or at least Dove!

 

[GreatMouseDetective]

We do fish extenders on every cruise and love it. It's a great way to meet some new people and it's always fun to see little gifts at your door at the end of a long night

 

[kristinanderic]

I signed up for the fish extender in order to explore the ship with my kids and hand out some gifts...I enjoy seeing other stateroom doors decorated and we think it will be fun to leave surprises.

I fully intend to receive 'junk' as you described it and I'm ok with that. It's about finding something in our FE and the kids having a smile in their face.

I never signed up because I wanted to receive expensive gifts from total strangers. I'll be the first one to tell you I spent only a couple bucks per person, but I'm very confident that my gift is practical and will be used.