Have we ever discussed this? Coachability

[Pea-n-Me]

Like in other sports threads, I think this same trait can absolutely be critical to - and encouraged in - other group activities like drama, band, scouts, etc.

I so agree.

 

[tazdev3225]

My son was not coachable and he will admit that today. He was a very talented ball player with a lot of potential, this coming from the baseball camp I sent him to for several years. The coaches also said that he wouldn't go far because of his refusal to play any position but the one HE wanted to play.

His son is the complete opposite. From T-ball until now he has listened to every coach and worked on improving his game. He doesn't always agree with his high school coach but he does what he is told. Of course when he was told a fast ball down the middle of the plate to a boy being scouted by pro teams he gave up a grand slam home run. That to me is coachable. He knew what the result of that pitch would be but threw it anyway.

I have been a coach off and on for the last 30+ years and to me coachability is a combination of factors that have changed to some degree over the years. I coached a team last year and had one girl with a great deal of potential but as long as her mother was at games she was the worst player in the world. She listened to mommy instead of the coaches. I had one girl who at 10 years old had never played before but turned into a really good ball player because she listened to us and tried her best. She hated playing certain positions but never gave us a hard time playing them.

 

[Wishing on a star]

My son has not been very active in sports, but I agree that this concept goes way beyond sports, into real everyday life.

He is a good guy, but especially since becoming a teen has not been what I would consider 'coachable'.
And, as a parent, you want to be able to help and teach and guide and advise.

I think that there are a lot of issues, between many sons and their mothers, that make them much LESS open to and coachable by, their mother than almost anyone else.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, my son has become more of the "I will do it when I want, how I want, or just won't do it at all..." than I would like!

 

[cabanafrau]

Most of us have heard about the helicopter parent, but have you heard of the Curling Parent?

Curling Parents bust their butts to remove all the little bumps and issues in life for their kid so everything goes nice and smooth for them

View attachment 164473

Dealing with a couple of these on the dance team right now . Coachabilty in my opinion can be a dealbreaker, natural talent is not enough, you HAVE to be able to take critiques and corrections in life

As a retired dance mom, I agree. My daughters both danced for many years. Oldest DD was a competitive dancer for several years. She was never the superstar dancer, and never really cared to be. It's her nature to do everything "correctly". That mindset can produce some great technique, but inhibits great dancing overall. She was known for loving critique because it gave her something to fix "incorrectness". That endeared her to a lot of the staff, but was a long-time roadblock with one teacher who had a specific type she favored. DD didn't fit the mold & was always marginalized in her years with that instructor, who had the studio owner's ear. It was shocking about six, eight months into her instruction with the instructor who picked up the older girls' jazz classes when suddenly DD was seen to be leapfrogging over many of her peers who had been more favorited by the other instructor. Part of it was simply DD had finally climbed up onto the next plateau, but part of it was having an instructor who understood DD might not nail it with raw talent initially, but she'd grind her guts out until she perfected it to her best ability. It's hard to say since dancers naturally do tend to plateau for a while and then suddenly seem to improve overnight, but from that point on for DD it was a steady climb to stronger results.

As a curling fan, I applaud your style!

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I am a coach and VP of operations for the girls side, and DH is a coach, plus the director of coaches and player safety for the boys side, for one of our local sports organizations. We live and breathe this subject for much of the year.

In my opinion, being a coachable kid means coming to practice with a willingness to give 100% and a true belief that being at practice on any given day is the very best place to be. The child has to believe that they are part of a team - a family who looks out for each other and cares about each other. I never look for the best - I look for the ones who have the best attitude and give the most effort.

This starts with the coaches. The coaches have a responsibility to the children to sell the idea of being a team and giving 100% every play, every day.

Little story - my DH was asked to coach a 8th grade silver team last year. He was already helping coach our little DS's team, and DS15 had already moved onto high school, so we didn't have a child at that level. But the league needed a coach so DH said yes. He assembled a coaching staff and went to the first week of practice. The year before, the silver team lost every game and scored a total of 2 touchdowns the whole season. The current 8th grade coach decided to run a "combine" to see who he wanted on his Gold team, and at the end of the week, called out the names of the kids who made his team. The rest of the kids sat in the grass and listened to the Gold Coach tell them: "Now, don't worry if you didn't make the gold team - these guys are just better and bigger. It doesn't mean you are bad players, it just means that you aren't as good as those other boys" (or something to that effect). These poor kids walked over to DH with zero confidence and heads hanging low.

DH saw this and decided that he needed to do something FAST or these kids would believe they were no good. He called all the kids over and said: "Everyone look at me and listen very carefully. WE are a TEAM. We are a FAMILY. We are second to NOBODY. I can't promise much but this I can tell you, right here and now: If you stay, you will be a champion. I will do my best every day to coach you and get you ready to play high school ball and if you stick with me and believe, you will walk off the field at the end of the season a champion."

These boys believed. They trusted their coaches. They bought in. They knew their coaches had their backs. Kid after kid after kid on the Gold team asked their parents if they could move to the Silver. Parents of Gold players wanted their kid on Silver. The Gold coaches were bitter and angry LOL and couldn't figure out why their "elite" athletes wanted to play down. They just didn't get it. While they were yelling and screaming at their boys, my DH was COACHING his - he was showing his boys what to do, explaining why, using high school players to demo plays, stances, etc. He got to them on their level and always treated every player with respect and encouragement to do their best. He didn't make them run laps or use punishments for no reason - if they played a position where running was necessary, they ran. If they didn't, they did something else. Every thing he did was based on what would improve the player.

These kids went out and played their heart out in every game for the coaches that believed in them from the beginning. They worked their hardest to prove those Gold coaches wrong and to show them what they could do. They won almost every game by a decisive final score, ending the regular season 8-1, while the "gold" team went 1-8. Our boys went onto the playoffs and won the first round. They led the whole game but lost the 2nd round game (that would've sent them to the championship) literally in the last 2 minutes on a fumble that the other team recovered and ran back for a touchdown for a final score of 18-16. The heartbreak and emotion of those boys in those moments after the game who believed in themselves so much to get that far moved the whole stadium to tears. Even the coaches on the other team came over to talk to the boys with tears in their eyes and said they have never played a team like ours and could see the brotherhood and heart they exibited both on the field and off.

DH cried through his final speech and told the boys that the gift they gave HIM was more than he could have ever dreamed of, and that even though they didn't get the trophy, they were ALL walking off the field as champions because sometimes as hard as you work for the trophy, the trophy is not the end goal - it is the character, confidence, and relationships you build that are the true reward.

DH has written several letters of reccomendation for these boys who are being recruited by Private high schools for the fall He has gotten letter after letter from various parents saying unbelievably nice things, and his starting quarterback, who wasn't "good" enough to make the gold team, will be the starting Freshman QB at their HS in the fall. The Gold QB will be his backup.

So, long story short - if the adults involved can get a kid to buy into the belief that what they are doing is worth it - they can be a "coachable" kid. They have to trust you and know you are giving them your everything and they will follow.