Has anyone else ever done this?

[surlecn]

I don't think I could do that. I handle all of the household finances and I am the trip planner. Usually my husband goes along with all of my trips, but every blue moon he will shut me down. I definitely think he wouldn't appreciate me doing this.

 

[Jess_S]

I do book trips and then tell my husband we are going. But we have an agreed upon budget with a line item for vacations and a separate line item for other types of fun spending.

In your situation, I would not book a trip until you at least get your husband to buy into the idea that spending a certain amount on a vacation is okay (even if he doesn't agree on the where right now).

 

[Hikergirl]

Well yes admittedly I'm in a very different situation, I'm not married, I work full time and have a daughter, so when we go on holiday with my boyfriend, I use my own finances to pay for mine and my daughters part. So yes the idea of spending a large amount of what is partly somebody else's money is alien to me. I think it would be better to discuss it first.

In our case, it is "our" money so its not really thought of as someone elses. I would never make a large purchase without discussing it my dh, but I would research, wish and dream about things without discussing them. Never would I pull the trigger though. "Our" means we don't just spend thousands of dollars on ourselves, or even for the family, on our own.

 

[have2getaway]

I don't think I could do that. I handle all of the household finances and I am the trip planner. Usually my husband goes along with all of my trips, but every blue moon he will shut me down. I definitely think he wouldn't appreciate me doing this.

To be honest, I can't either. I really want to plan another trip, but I just couldn't ever do it. Im trying to look at the positives to waiting another year before going again, or doing it cheaper, but even DH agreed we would have a hard time going from the Polynesian to a moderate.

 

[TwoMisfits]

It sounds like while your husband had a good time, he didn't have such a great time that he finds value in going again so soon at the same price point. Like many things mentioned on this board (you need to eat at CRT ONCE, you need to try a Halloween/Christmas party ONCE, etc), it sounds like he needed to experience this trip ONCE and then try new things/use money for other things. He'd go back if it was uber-cheap (or free, b/c who turns down free), but he didn't love it enough that he needs to go back soonish...

As for looking at things to spend money on, that's human nature. If he hasn't mentioned them to you, I doubt he's looking to pull the trigger on a boat or golf cart or 4 wheeler soon or without talking to you 1st. I look around at all different vacation sites even though I know I won't be booking any of them for 12 months, since I have this year's vacation plan set...doesn't mean I don't keep up with happenings in Orlando, Pigeon Forge, DC, Boston, Columbus, and Charleston (and cruises - who can forget those, since that's this year's trip)...

 

[have2getaway]

It sounds like while your husband had a good time, he didn't have such a great time that he finds value in going again so soon at the same price point. Like many things mentioned on this board (you need to eat at CRT ONCE, you need to try a Halloween/Christmas party ONCE, etc), it sounds like he needed to experience this trip ONCE and then try new things/use money for other things. He'd go back if it was uber-cheap (or free, b/c who turns down free), but he didn't love it enough that he needs to go back soonish...

As for looking at things to spend money on, that's human nature. If he hasn't mentioned them to you, I doubt he's looking to pull the trigger on a boat or golf cart or 4 wheeler soon or without talking to you 1st. I look around at all different vacation sites even though I know I won't be booking any of them for 12 months, since I have this year's vacation plan set...doesn't mean I don't keep up with happenings in Orlando, Pigeon Forge, DC, Boston, Columbus, and Charleston (and cruises - who can forget those, since that's this year's trip)...

All very true! I can't complain as we also have a spring break vacation to Myrtle Beach planned with my family in April, although this will be a MUCH less expensive trip. I do see your points. He did say: "When we come back, I want to have less ADR's". We actually both agreed on that one. I guess that's a good sign that he will want to go back.

I think some of my wanting to plan another trip is feeling guilty my older son wasn't with us. He was with his Dad, and they were also at Disney, and he did Universal as well. We did spend a very short time with him at DHS, but I just feel sad that he hasn't with us for the amazing experience we had. DH reminded me that he will be with us on our vacation in April, and that I did take our older son to Disney and all of the things we did with the boys. The only problem was he was 4 and doesn't remember any of it.

 

[ndavis]

Booked a trip reservation and not told your spouse until all the arrangements are made? We just got back from an amazing stay at the Polynesian and had an amazing time with our 3 boys, DH included. I wanted to plan another trip for next Jan. and he really didn't seem interested until I showed him a 2 BR suite at WL. (He is obsessed with this resort). Anyway, even though he is very interested in the WL, he said he didn't see us going back to Disney unless I got the price down. Our last trip was 8k for a week for a family of 5. This time, my older son would be joining us, so it would be a party of 6. We have the money to go. I pay all our bills and this vacation we paid in cash before we went. I just think he has other plans for the $ he isn't sharing with me. (I found pictures of boats, golf carts, and 4 wheelers on his phone). Anyway, we really can do both, but...we have always been super careful with our money. I'm just wondering if any other couples argue/debate about how frequently to go to Disney and what a good compromise might be? Also wondering if anyone has surprised their spouse when everything was all set, and how well that went over? I think a large part of it is I'm an obsessive planner (pretty sure I like the planning more than the trip), and he is not. He just wants to show up and go!

Does he know how long it takes to plan? We went on our first Disney trip (cruise) as a family October of 2015, when we got back I was talking about planning our next one-my DH thought it was too soon-not realizing how far out in advance we have to book. We talked about it and have agreed on a set amount of time between trips and the budget, so I just plan and let him know when/what we are doing. He will chime in here and there about what he wants to do so I know when I'm planning. With us though-he has no desire to know exactly how much it costs, as long as we can afford it.

 

[have2getaway]

Does he know how long it takes to plan? We went on our first Disney trip (cruise) as a family October of 2015, when we got back I was talking about planning our next one-my DH thought it was too soon-not realizing how far out in advance we have to book. We talked about it and have agreed on a set amount of time between trips and the budget, so I just plan and let him know when/what we are doing. He will chime in here and there about what he wants to do so I know when I'm planning. With us though-he has no desire to know exactly how much it costs, as long as we can afford it.

Well, I wanted to go next year, but he thought that was too soon. I didn't think about asking when he would be ready for a return trip, but I suppose that would have been a good opportunity to discuss it. I think he would be fine if it was mutually agreed and I set aside the funds and planned it. I'll have to try this route. Thank you!

 

[ndavis]

Good luck!

 

[MamaBelleRN]

I LOVE the planning and going to WDW much more than my DH. He certainly enjoyed in and would like to go back, but it's not a priority for him. While I am comfortable paying for it in stages (have all the cash for the hotel when booking, then save all the cash for the tickets and then purchase, then save for the meals/extras), my DH wants to have all the cash in hand for everything before we book anything. Both of us agree on having it all paid for before the trip, but we differ on how to go about it. Knowing we differ on the how-to process, I would never book a trip without a discussion first. It does mean we have to wait until 2018 for our next trip, but I think it will just make it that much sweeter

 

[BLAZEY]

I tell dh that I am wanting to book a trip. I pay for all vacations out of MY money. We have a joint account for house hold bills and such, but each have our own personal accounts in addition the joint account and individual retirement savings and pensions from work. I like to travel, he likes stuff.

 

[Mousemommy1]

My husband would not be very happy about that at all. But, he also rarely says no to me, so I just ask - get a yes, and get to planning!

 

[usnuzuloose]

No I would never do that.

 

[Cinderella94]

Honestly it sounds like you have bigger issues than whether or not you should book a vacation without telling him first.

I was going to say the exact same thing.

 

[have2getaway]

My husband would not be very happy about that at all. But, he also rarely says no to me, so I just ask - get a yes, and get to planning!

Jealous!!

 

[have2getaway]

I was going to say the exact same thing.

Well, there is definitely an issue about how we should do finances. I have been trying to convince him for years that we should have a household budget and then each have "X" amount to use for whatever we want. I just don't think it's reasonable that you will always agree on How to spend money. He has never wanted or been willing to even try this. That's really the bigger issue. Not that it matters, but our salaries are decent and fairly equal so that isn't why. I think it's more out of a need for transparency, and knowing what the other person is doing with their 'pot'.

 

[have2getaway]

I tell dh that I am wanting to book a trip. I pay for all vacations out of MY money. We have a joint account for house hold bills and such, but each have our own personal accounts in addition the joint account and individual retirement savings and pensions from work. I like to travel, he likes stuff.

Do you find it's hard to manage? That is his argument against separate accounts. I handle all of our finances and he thinks it will be too overwhelming for me, but I'm pretty sure it will make it easier.

 

[BLAZEY]

Do you find it's hard to manage? That is his argument against separate accounts. I handle all of our finances and he thinks it will be too overwhelming for me, but I'm pretty sure it will make it easier.

No if anything its easier. Our personal accounts are the ones we had before we got married. We got the newer joint account when we got married .We know what our monthly bills are (Includes quarterly and semi annual bills too) that is put in the joint account. Our personal accounts are our "fun or personal" money after all bills and retirement savings. He drives an newer truck, my car is 15 years old, and has lots of life left in it.

 

[kboo]

On the trip - I agree with PP and it sounds like you're on board anyway as far as not putting money down on anything until ... I "plan" trips as a way of fantasizing and escaping the here and now, and plan all our family's trips. The one time I sort of planned WDW without DH, I had gotten a personalized code in email and then looked around and made a hotel booking over mine and DD1 birthdays (we got rooms at the CR for <$300; I also "sold" it that we wouldn't have to do a bday party for her back home). It was fully cancelable for months, so I told DH I booked it as a "placeholder" but maybe we could think about doing that next year? Then socialized the issue with him, and of course eventually we went. But I didn't get plane tickets until we were sure we were going.

Now, we always discuss but we only plan ONE WDW trip at a time. I'm already socializing the idea that we may buy DVC in 2018 as a combined bday/xmas thing for me. heh. He likes to be the one putting on the brakes but we've been talking about DVC for a couple of years now.

 

[kboo]

Oh, if you want to try to get one of those personalized codes, sign up for DVC video and information, make sure you have a MDE account, etc. But you probably knew that. Then jump on the code and look for some dates that could work for you. DH and I are older parents and have been married 20+ years. We make enough and have enough saved that we don't have to "worry" about affording these things, but we still discuss most purchases over $100. With vacations, since I plan them all, I usually go, "I can find hotels at [location] at $---, or ... " and give him a few options. He knows I will pick options he will like, and we talk about how much additional expenses will be, etc. We went 2x last spring and I'm already feeling WDW withdrawal. August still feels a long time away!!