Has an "unfriendly" communal table ever put a damper on the experience ?

[tinkerhon]

So, we did FEA tonight - our first time - we really enjoyed it, but given the choice of only one, I would still do with SWAGS or JBJB first , with MK a close 2nd - was with DD13 and DS8- out table of 10 was full, but no one spoke to anyone else - my son has some sensory issues and isn't that chatty, and I don't really like to bother anyone while they are eating , but I like to chat just a little bit - the people at our table, however, just seemed more interested in playing on their phones - I looked around at one point and heard others talking and telling others at their table that it was nice meeting them -
had this happen one other time at Tappan Edo, but for the most part, always meet the nicest people at Disney - it was just kind of weird that no one spoke - we tried to create conversation a few times to no avail - so, it made me wonder how others have dealt with this situation, or if you just avoid communal tables totally - ( I know people that avoid biergarten for this reason -

 

[JoeA]

I’ve had some great times at tables!

Years ago my wife and I ate at Biergarten and sat with a couple of gay dudes from GA. My wife was born in GA and has lots of family there so we had a “connection” I guess. We drank beer and laughed all night. They were great company.

We also met some great guys while drinking at Haifbrau House in Munich. They were from the U.K. and it was the 4th of July so we gave each other crap all night, again - drinking beers and laughing all night. A week later I actually ran into one of the guys back in the U.K. it’s a small world!

I think I see a connection...I just need to drink beer and hang out in Germany or German themed places!!

 

[BingoJoe]

I don't care if the people at the table don't want to talk, I don't think I have ever initiated a conversation at a shared table kind of place (maybe).

I am perfectly happy talking to my family and friends really, but if someone else wants to join in good on them.

Maybe it is what you are used to? Here in Bath lots of places have giant tables that you just use part of, cafes, wagamamas, pubs etc. If you spent all day chatting to the strangers sharing your long bit of wood you wouldn't have time for the people you are actually trying to spend time with!

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

I don't care if the people at the table don't want to talk, I don't think I have ever initiated a conversation at a shared table kind of place (maybe).

I am perfectly happy talking to my family and friends really, but if someone else wants to join in good on them.

Maybe it is what you are used to? Here in Bath lots of places have giant tables that you just use part of, cafes, wagamamas, pubs etc. If you spent all day chatting to the strangers sharing your long bit of wood you wouldn't have time for the people you are actually trying to spend time with!

Whereas in South Wales everyone talks to everyone and has to know everyone’s business. If ‘strangers’ walk into a pub, within minutes people will start chatting to them and by the time they leave the whole pub will be on first name terms.

 

[EveDallas]

This is why I don't eat at places with shared tables. I like to use mealtimes to decompress, and I'd hate to be thought of as rude or unfriendly because I don't want to chat.

 

[BingoJoe]

I think what everyone can agree is worse than no-one talking to you is sharing a table with a really boring person you can't shut up.

I have only really experienced this on cruises, which I love, but seem to attract a certain kind of customer who has been on 1000 cruises, wants to talk endlessly about the tiny details of the cruise, but also seems to hate cruises but doesn't know it! Endless negative comparisons to some mythical better cruise they took years ago.

Seriously shut the f**k up and let me enjoy my holiday.

 

[L&Lfan]

Would someone be so kind as to translate for me:
FEA
SWAGS
JBJB

I think I understand the rest. Thank you.

 

[verleniahall]

Would someone be so kind as to translate for me:
FEA
SWAGS
JBJB

I think I understand the rest. Thank you.

Frozen ever after
Star Wars a galaxy spectacular
Jingle bell jingle bam

 

[L&Lfan]

Thank you so much! I would never have guessed that’s what they meant. I was trying to figure out restaurants with communal seating!!!

 

[dish rag]

Frozen ever after
Star Wars a galaxy spectacular
Jingle bell jingle bam

Thank you, I was wondering the same.

 

[fab1976]

We did a Keys to the Kingdom tour a couple of years ago and at lunch my husband and I were seated with another couple about 10 years younger than us. We were 40ish and they were 30ish. Tried a couple of times striking up coversation but it really didn’t go anywhere and they didn’t talk to us unless we spoke to them lol. But then the next day we were in the DVC lounge and started talking to a couple around the 30ish age again and we talked for at least an hour! There’s been other awkward moments and other good moments over the years but we generally avoid shared table experiences.

 

[bethbuchall]

I guess as an introvert, it doesn't bother me at all if my table mates don't want to talk beyond a friendly greeting and a few pleasantries. I'm there to enjoy the time with my family. I'm also open to conversation if that's what others want, but don't expect me to really carry the conversation because I'm rather quiet. I don't understand how having the others not interact spoils the experience as long as they aren't stopping you and your family from talking and enjoying the time together. (That sound snarky but isn't. I really don't understand it because it wouldn't affect me at all if I didn't have conversation from others.)

The one time that a couple put a bit of a damper on our experience was at FEA. The dessert party was inside because of weather, and we had changed reservations at the last minute to a night earlier because we had to leave a couple of days early due to a hurricane coming in. My daughter and I were seated at a large table with one other couple. He (a grown adult) was in a bratty mood and didn't seem to want to be there. Plus, he berated the woman for everything she brought to the table and told her how unhealthy it all was. He shared several of his opinions with us also, and it made us very self-conscious about enjoying the desserts. (And I'm sure there are others who don't understand how this spoiled the experience because they would just laugh him off.)

Overall, I prefer not having shared table experiences, not because of the others ignoring me but because of the pressure that I feel to find the appropriate level of interaction so that others don't find me too stand-offish or too chatty. Or worrying that having a quiet conversation with my family will cause the others to think that we're talking about them or about something that we don't want them to hear.

 

[ronandannette]

There are a number of these communal table places springing up around here recently; I guess it’s currently trendy. I’d have different expectations of a one-off experience than I do of sharing a table for a week on a cruise ship. For a single meal I’m going to “read the crowd” and go with whatever the vibe of the group seems to be. If they’re chatty, I’ll chat. If they are all just keeping to their own companions, I’m fine with that too. It’s only an hour or so - what’s the big deal?

 

[BingoJoe]

I guess as an introvert, it doesn't bother me at all if my table mates don't want to talk beyond a friendly greeting and a few pleasantries. I'm there to enjoy the time with my family. I'm also open to conversation if that's what others want, but don't expect me to really carry the conversation because I'm rather quiet. I don't understand how having the others not interact spoils the experience as long as they aren't stopping you and your family from talking and enjoying the time together. (That sound snarky but isn't. I really don't understand it because it wouldn't affect me at all if I didn't have conversation from others.)

The one time that a couple put a bit of a damper on our experience was at FEA. The dessert party was inside because of weather, and we had changed reservations at the last minute to a night earlier because we had to leave a couple of days early due to a hurricane coming in. My daughter and I were seated at a large table with one other couple. He (a grown adult) was in a bratty mood and didn't seem to want to be there. Plus, he berated the woman for everything she brought to the table and told her how unhealthy it all was. He shared several of his opinions with us also, and it made us very self-conscious about enjoying the desserts. (And I'm sure there are others who don't understand how this spoiled the experience because they would just laugh him off.)

Overall, I prefer not having shared table experiences, not because of the others ignoring me but because of the pressure that I feel to find the appropriate level of interaction so that others don't find me too stand-offish or too chatty. Or worrying that having a quiet conversation with my family will cause the others to think that we're talking about them or about something that we don't want them to hear.

I wouldn't worry about people judging you for being too quiet. Most people probably don't care, many others actually prefer not to have to bother with small talk, and for those that are looking to chat with strangers and feel miffed you didn't entertain them, well who cares frankly! It is their problem not yours and you will likely never see them again anyway.

 

[L&Lfan]

My boyfriend and I were at a table at Biergarten with 2 other couples who were not together. One couple was average sized; the other Pooh sized. The average couple was making snarky remarks and laughing behind the backs of the Pooh sized couple each time they went to the buffet. My boyfriend and I ignored them, but I’m ashamed to say we didn’t say anything either. Maybe it was best to just stay out of it. We found the Pooh sized couple delightful and their love for Disney was infectious!

 

[smiths02]

At Biergarten, we were sat with people who didn't acknowledge our presence, but they finished before us. It wasn't terrible, but I was kind of wondering if we ruined their meal or offended them and it was awkward. It was 3 people in their 20s or early 30s having to be sat next to me, DH, a 9 year old and twin 2 year olds. I think Biergarten messed up on that one....a young family with a group of adults seems like the wrong choice.

 

[smiths02]

I guess as an introvert, it doesn't bother me at all if my table mates don't want to talk beyond a friendly greeting and a few pleasantries. I'm there to enjoy the time with my family. I'm also open to conversation if that's what others want, but don't expect me to really carry the conversation because I'm rather quiet. I don't understand how having the others not interact spoils the experience as long as they aren't stopping you and your family from talking and enjoying the time together. (That sound snarky but isn't. I really don't understand it because it wouldn't affect me at all if I didn't have conversation from others.)

The one time that a couple put a bit of a damper on our experience was at FEA. The dessert party was inside because of weather, and we had changed reservations at the last minute to a night earlier because we had to leave a couple of days early due to a hurricane coming in. My daughter and I were seated at a large table with one other couple. He (a grown adult) was in a bratty mood and didn't seem to want to be there. Plus, he berated the woman for everything she brought to the table and told her how unhealthy it all was. He shared several of his opinions with us also, and it made us very self-conscious about enjoying the desserts. (And I'm sure there are others who don't understand how this spoiled the experience because they would just laugh him off.)

Overall, I prefer not having shared table experiences, not because of the others ignoring me but because of the pressure that I feel to find the appropriate level of interaction so that others don't find me too stand-offish or too chatty. Or worrying that having a quiet conversation with my family will cause the others to think that we're talking about them or about something that we don't want them to hear.

I think that as long as you exchange some greeting, I wouldn't worry about it. I only said our experienced was dampened because the people literally didn't acknowledge our presence. If they said hello and not much more, I would consider that neutral.

 

[Moliphino]

I am that unfriendly person. I'm never going to be the one to strike up a conversation with strangers, though if the other party initiates I'm usually ok with chatting a bit. The more alcohol there is the chattier I am, so I seem to end up talking with people the most at Trader Sam's.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I really hate communal tables! When I go to a restaurant it is time as someone said to decompress or even discuss things that might be stressing me at home or at my job. I cannot do this when there are strangers around plus if I want to put my elbows on the table then I do not want to be judged.

That being said we have gone to a couple of events where we were forced to sit with strangers and it was actually a good experience partially because we were at historic venues and the others at the table had the same interests as us. The key was we knew in advance and did not view it as a night out or an experience that we just wanted to share as a couple.
It annoys me to no end when someone comes to my table and plunks them selves down just because there are two extra seats! Last year Casey's Corner was busy and I was sitting at the table waiting for my husband to come back, my son and his gf got up to use the rest room. Bottom line this woman tried to put her kids at my table! She got mad when I said the seats were taken. Why is it not okay to want privacy? Maybe I do not want to sit and entertain a couple of strange kids when I am on vacation. I think communal tables are okay when that is the policy of the venue but I do not think it is okay when it is not the norm and people force it and then get indignant when one does not want to comply. I just need to add that my husband says I can talk to a wall and rarely leave a store etc without having a conversation with a customer or staff so it is not that I am anti-social I just do not like being forced!

 

[amberpi]

Like @ronandannette there seem to be more and more of these places all the time. My DH could talk to a wall and he knows sometimes I just can’t deal with the chit chat. Sometimes I can. I let him know I’m leaving and he plays it from there. There are more instances when I’m not in the mood for fandoms, so exchange pleasantries and enjoy each other/the family. Nothing personal, sometimes I’m just not interested in a stranger. Occasionally I’m open to it.