Harnesses for Kids

[abarnold]

First off to the OP- we have used the harnesses you are talking about (ds had a puppy) and he really enjoyed it....


now to tell you why- we have 4 children and have never had to use a harness on any of the other 3. When our youngest was born- he was born at 26 weeks with several abnormalities which affected everything except for his heart. He roughly has 75% brain damage and 75% of that damage is actually brain dead. He is the sweetest most caring child you will ever meet and you would never know something was wrong with him if you met him- but with his brain issues he has something called impulse control disorder along with a social behavioral disorder that falls under the spectrum of Autism. You can turn your head for a second and he's gone. We use the harness as a secondary tool for his safety. He is normally in the stroller or holding our hands- but if he decides to bolt we have that extra safety net. We tried our hardest at US for a couple of days without it but when he saw Spongebob and tackled him almost knocking him over we knew that he did need the extra help.

I do understand everyone's views on the subject matter- but for those who do not like the harnesses- you are completely entitled to your own opinion and I will respect them. However, I do ask of you please take into account that there are people who truly need them- even with their older kids (mine is 6) and they are a way to keep them safe. I do not know what I would do if anything happened to my children- but my youngest completely depends on me to keep him safe. My child should not be deprived from something as wonderful as WDW because he has a disability- and if that means dirty looks from complete strangers I will except them- he's been through so much he deserves some happiness!

Thank you I will get off my soap box

 

[triplejen]

I never had to use a leash, nor would I have,: whether I was alone or with my husband because we taught them from babies how to behave when we are out in busy places. I am not trying to flame anyone but I feel that there is too much babying and not enough teaching in this world. I think you should either hold their hand, put them on your shoulders or in a stroller. If they are not capable of handling any of those things, maybe its not time yet for them to experience Disney.

I'm confused as to what you're teaching a child that you're either directly holding on to or otherwise confining to a stroller that's any different from what someone with a foot of tether between themselves and their child are teaching.

I'm 6' tall. My 2yo is just over 3'. He's too heavy for me to carry for any useful length of time. Exactly what moral high ground, or additional "teaching" am I gaining by having to walk stooped over while the poor child holds his arm straight in the air for a hours at a time, rather than having him walk at my side with both of our arms and backs in a comfortable position?

And exactly what "teaching" would I be offering by forcing the child to spend a significant portion of his day strapped immobile in his stroller, rather than walking comfortably at my side?

I would suggest that a way to move past a feeling of "too much babying . . . in the world" would be to allow your child out of his stroller/off your shoulders and allow him to WALK like a person. Once you do that, there's really only a difference of comfortable posture between hand and harness holding.

On the subject of "not enough teaching," I'm still unclear as to what is being taught when the child is still either actively physically restrained, or passively harnessed in a seated position in a stroller . . .

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I'm confused as to what you're teaching a child that you're either directly holding on to or otherwise confining to a stroller that's any different from what someone with a foot of tether between themselves and their child are teaching.

I'm 6' tall. My 2yo is just over 3'. He's too heavy for me to carry for any useful length of time. Exactly what moral high ground, or additional "teaching" am I gaining by having to walk stooped over while the poor child holds his arm straight in the air for a hours at a time, rather than having him walk at my side with both of our arms and backs in a comfortable position?

And exactly what "teaching" would I be offering by forcing the child to spend a significant portion of his day strapped immobile in his stroller, rather than walking comfortably at my side?

I would suggest that a way to move past a feeling of "too much babying . . . in the world" would be to allow your child out of his stroller/off your shoulders and allow him to WALK like a person. Once you do that, there's really only a difference of comfortable posture between hand and harness holding.

On the subject of "not enough teaching," I'm still unclear as to what is being taught when the child is still either actively physically restrained, or passively harnessed in a seated position in a stroller . . .

Really nice post!

In my opinion people need to make the choices that work best for their own families. I never had a runner, but I did lose a 6 year old for 5 minutes, once. There were three adults, and everyone thought someone else had him. Terribly scary time.

Imagine how much nicer our world would be if people would stop looking down their noses at one another.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I know the harness topic is a hot one but here is my take anyway.

FTR- I do not use them.
That being said, I don't care if you use them but here is what I observed on our last trip. Disclaimer- this was just stuff dh and I noticed while waiting.

Every kid we saw in a harness (which was not many) was either walking next to the parent or straining against it like a dog trying to get loose. The worst we saw was an older brother "walking" his younger brother. Some of parents (not all) were barely paying attention to the child in the harness. The kid was just standing there behaving but the parents weren't really watching anway.

Now before you start burning me at the stake let me say this. I don't care if you use them. I just don't understand the point of them. If the child is on a leash you still have to pay attention to what they are doing (at least I hope you do) and if they are straining to get away from you isn't it better to grab them and maybe take them to a quiet area to get them settled rather than have them drag you along? Also, if they are capable of walking nicely then why the need for the leash?

I am not being snarky. I am simply perplexed by the use of them at all. They don't really seem necesarry imo. YMMV.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Mouse House Mama, I can't really answer your question about why use it if the kids are constantly straining against it, because my dd didn't do that. I would guess that the child was very excited and unable to settle down, and would probably have been pulling on the parent's arm if he were not wearing a harness, in which case I see no difference between physically restraining him with an arm, a stroller or a harness, other than comfort. As has been mentioned, strollers can be a pain in crowded places like Disney and holding hands for 5 or 10 hours straight while you're in the parks can get pretty uncomfortable for both the stooped-over parent and the child with her arm held up over her head.

My dd would have been one of the ones you wondered why use it if she's capable of walking nicely. The thing was, she would walk nicely at times, but something would catch her eye and with no warning at all, she would bolt, usually running directly under railings or squeezing through tight places, so it was nearly impossible for an adult to catch her. With the harness, she'd start to bolt, feel that she couldn't, and stop. For her, it was a great learning experience. She learned that when she wasn't holding dh's or my hand, she still had to stay near us. By the time she was 2.5 or 3, she'd figured it out, gotten her impulses under control and we no longer used the harness.

Thanks for asking nicely. I didn't understand the point of them, either, when I only had a mellow child. Even though I'd known my mom had used one with my brother, I didn't think I would. There are lots of products that seem unnecessary to me, but obviously enough other people feel differently, or they'd stop selling them.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Let's liven things up with some pictures!

This one's awesome:

Explain to me what this is teaching the kid?

My favorite:

And probably the most interesting photo (not taken by me, btw), complete strangers are photographing you in Disney and commenting on the leashes (this is an image on google from Blogspot):

More funny photos:

http://bg11.org/?p=51

What I notice the most about that website? In most of the photos, the parent isn't even looking at their kid.

 

[BayouMickey]

I said it then I say it now..
People need to mind their own business...

 

[jjmatte]

This is my opinion and mine alone...I have 2 daughters. At one point I had 4 children under the age of 5 as DH and I are foster parents. I never had to use a leash, nor would I have,: whether I was alone or with my husband because we taught them from babies how to behave when we are out in busy places. I am not trying to flame anyone but I feel that there is too much babying and not enough teaching in this world. I think you should either hold their hand, put them on your shoulders or in a stroller. If they are not capable of handling any of those things, maybe its not time yet for them to experience Disney. My DD's were 3 and 18 months the first time they went and there was never an issue, if I would've thought there could be an issue, I would've waited to take them. No offense, just a different take...whatever you do enjoy your trip.

Well, congratulations on being a better parent than anyone else. It must be wonderful.

 

[lovinwdw]

I don't understand why people think it's ok to take pictures of other people's kids and post them on the internet. If I saw someone taking a picture of my kid, I'd flip out on them!

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I don't understand why people think it's ok to take pictures of other people's kids and post them on the internet. If I saw someone taking a picture of my kid, I'd flip out on them!

I'm pointing out to many of the posters that certain behaviors will now earn you instant exposure on the internet. Right or wrong, there it is.

Also, you have a picture of your kid in your signature. It's easy to copy and save it to my own hard drive on my computer, photoshop it, and repost it anywhere on the internet.

 

[ma2jr]

I don't understand why people think it's ok to take pictures of other people's kids and post them on the internet. If I saw someone taking a picture of my kid, I'd flip out on them!

I agree. I also think we live in a society with boundry issues.

 

[lovinwdw]

I'm pointing out to many of the posters that certain behaviors will now earn you instant exposure on the internet. Right or wrong, there it is.

Also, you have a picture of your kid in your signature. It's easy to copy and save it to my own hard drive on my computer, photoshop it, and repost it anywhere on the internet.

WOW very scary...I'm removing it.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Mouse House Mama, I can't really answer your question about why use it if the kids are constantly straining against it, because my dd didn't do that. I would guess that the child was very excited and unable to settle down, and would probably have been pulling on the parent's arm if he were not wearing a harness, in which case I see no difference between physically restraining him with an arm, a stroller or a harness, other than comfort. As has been mentioned, strollers can be a pain in crowded places like Disney and holding hands for 5 or 10 hours straight while you're in the parks can get pretty uncomfortable for both the stooped-over parent and the child with her arm held up over her head.

My dd would have been one of the ones you wondered why use it if she's capable of walking nicely. The thing was, she would walk nicely at times, but something would catch her eye and with no warning at all, she would bolt, usually running directly under railings or squeezing through tight places, so it was nearly impossible for an adult to catch her. With the harness, she'd start to bolt, feel that she couldn't, and stop. For her, it was a great learning experience. She learned that when she wasn't holding dh's or my hand, she still had to stay near us. By the time she was 2.5 or 3, she'd figured it out, gotten her impulses under control and we no longer used the harness.

Thanks for asking nicely. I didn't understand the point of them, either, when I only had a mellow child. Even though I'd known my mom had used one with my brother, I didn't think I would. There are lots of products that seem unnecessary to me, but obviously enough other people feel differently, or they'd stop selling them.

Thank you for answering.

 

[ShannonMB]

Thanks for the pics, Kickapoo! I'm not really on either side of this issue (and surprised this thread is still going strong!), but enjoyed the photos. A picture is worth a thousand words.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

What I notice the most about that website? In most of the photos, the parent isn't even looking at their kid.

Right. That couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that kids in harnesses whose parents are paying attention aren't as noticable to the busybodies and also not funny enough to said busybodies to warrant photo-taking and posting on the internet, could it?

 

[Millermom0606]

Right. That couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that kids in harnesses whose parents are paying attention aren't as noticable to the busybodies and also not funny enough to said busybodies to warrant photo-taking and posting on the internet, could it?

yea cause who want to take a picture of a normal family acting like a normal family doing normal family things..... very rarely is a perfect stranger going to take a picture and post it and go 'o gee aren't they such a cute normal family??'

 

[ShannonMB]

There were plenty of pics on the link that show kids just walking along with their parents, not straining or lying on the ground.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

yea cause who want to take a picture of a normal family acting like a normal family doing normal family things..... very rarely is a perfect stranger going to take a picture and post it and go 'o gee aren't they such a cute normal family??'

yes, though a quick google did turn up this picture with a mom (gasp!) paying attention to her child, along with a comment that it was a good thing this lady was using a harness, or the child might have run in front of a car.

 

[Hannathy]

WOW very scary...I'm removing it.

Sorry too late it is already out there, but remove it if you want.

Also if you don't want your child's picture taken by strangers don't go out in public, because if you have been at Disney or any other large park they have had their picture taken and is probably floating out in cyberspace on facebook or google or etc....

Other than absolutely hating leashes on kids I have yet to see any parent using one who when the child is pulling on it stop and correct the child and then if they start pulling again do something about it. if I did then I would say it was for learning but most I have seen are either ignoring the child or the child is pulling away without any learning going on or is way to old to need one and the parents are paranoid or overprotective. IMO.(as seen in some of those pictures)

 

[Millermom0606]

All I can say is a picture may 'say a thousand words' but it doesn't tell the whole story..... I've seen kids on harnesses that I didn't even realize they were on a harness till I looked real close.... or the kid saw something they HAD to have and BOLTED....LOL