Well, THAT title sounds pretty interesting to me! Betcha didn't know they had one of those at that fancy schmancy hotel, didja?!

I guess Disney is full of surprises.
So here we are, Wed. morning and it was finally time for the kids Pirate Adventure Cruise.

I booked this sucker WAY back and took the GF cruise because the CBR was already full. I figured Pierre and I could find something to do with the 2 hours, either the beach or maybe a drink (go figure). He had other ideas but come on Pierre, this is the GRAND FLORIDIAN. We decided to eat breakfast at Gasparilla's and see how the rich do counter service so we hopped the bus to MK and then the monorail. I sat next to a nice girl who is a lifeguard at the Contemporary and just a little FYI but they are tested once a month on emergency drills and all that. Good to know.
We walk into the GF and are amazed at how stunning this palatial resort is. So crisp, clean, Victorianesque (cool word, I just made it up. I think.) We've been before for 1900 Park Fair but it still takes my breath away. Especially when I see how much it costs per night

I know *I* ain't never staying there. When I asked the girl at the front desk for Gasparilla directions, she told me with THE biggest smile

on her face and I thought her eyes were gonna pop outta her head

, they were so W - I - D - E. We walked outside and over to Gasp. noticing the marina. The kids were pumped for this cruise, talked about it for the last couple of months. Anything involving treasure/money and watch out Bella will break your legs and arms getting to it first. For real, she will. She pushed me out of the way to kiss the dollar I put in her lunchbox the other day. Tapped. If Bella is excited to do something Cooper follows her lead!
We ate our food and BTW the coffee totally blows in here. As far as food courts go, us lowly folks are doing better than the rich.

Of course they probably all have the delux dining plan so... Don't hate, I'm just jealous. The kids love the games in here, like that's a surprise! Cooper kicks Bella's butt on the basketball thing and it brings out the worst loser in her. I swear!

Potty break all around and we go outside to wander over to the marina. We are about 20 minutes early so we just hang and Cooper is bouncing off the walls, he's so psyched! Pierre and I were going to head over to the MK to get some FP's for later while they were going around the lagoon. The women running it finally show up and have us all sign them in and away (you shoulda seen the warnings, sheesh!) Bella is the first one to get her wicked cool Mickey ear bandana

and then Cooper

. I suit them up with life jackets and take a couple of pics. The castle is WAYYYYYY in the background. Doesn't he look happy?!
I see a girl a little older than Bella (they are the only 2 girls their age) and guess what is on her shirt? Hannah Montana! The same as Bella's tatoo so that's even better. What took place next was so ab-so-freakin-hysterical I nearly peed myself. I pointed her out to Bella and she starts to stalk her, you know, circling her, checking out the shirt. Then she pulls up the edge of her sleeve slyly, looks at her tatoo, looks at the girl and then her tatoo again. She was like a lion about about to pounce on lunch! It was too funny!
Somethings no-o-o-t quite right, something about the expression, can't put my finger on it
Yeah. "I don't want to go. There are pirates" Do not make eye contact. Do not make eye contact. "No, there aren't. YOU are the pirate looking for treasure. You are so lucky, I wish I could go"
"I'm NOT going. I don't want to. I don't wanna see pirates" This goes on for a couple of minutes and I try to calm him down and remind him how excited he was to do this, Bella is going to be with him, cool treasures, UNCRUSTABLES. I try to get Bella to encourage him and she's like "Eeeew no way, I'm busy stalking my future BFF" Thanks for the help, Bells, no really, you were great! By now Cooper is half a breath away from screaming.
Meanwhile the ladies are pairing up the kids and Bella gets her new BFF as a partner. They can see he's freaking out but do they do anything? No. WTH???!!! I crouched down in front of him, against the boathouse because he's delirious now and has lost control of all bodyparts. Which means my head got smacked into the building. I'm ready pick him up and toss him onto the boat without even looking back. We are both in panic mode, him because there is no way in h*ll he is going and me because there's no way in h*ll he isn't.
They women just get on the boat, tell the rules to the new pirates and that's it. They could have at least said something nice to him so I get my $29 worth. Nope, nothing. Pierre took this shot since I was busy. She's next to her new BFF who I find out has the same name as her REAL BFF
I know you are all wondering where the heck is the ghetto at the GF. My friends, it's next to the boathouse and I know because I proceeded to crawl out of it for the next few minutes. I became THAT Mom.

You know who she is. The one who yells at her kid, swears at him and wants to hit him with her cell phone. I seriously don't know what happened what to me but I don't think I've been THAT angry (unless it involves my Mom which wasn't that long ago come to think of it) in some time. Certainly not to my kids. I finally walked away from him with Pierre and Cooper is following us crying. I couldn't even look at him I was so mad. For what, I ask myself now. Over a stupid cruise? Pierre decided to take him back to the hotel which bugged me even more because he would spend the whole 2 hours traveling. He said it didn't matter and that he needed to have a talk with Cooper about the whole thing and promised he'd come back a new man. Cooper was doing that thing kids do when they are getting over a big cry, gasps of air, snorty-snifflies and all that. Of course I started to feel bad

and tried to get them to just come with me and lets forget the whole thing ever happened. Pierre insisted on bringing him to the room so we parted ways at the MK gates and planned to meet back there at 11:45. I felt like the biggest bum ever and even worse when I walked into the "happiest place on earth" It seriously held no magic for me at that moment. BUT this was to be our last MK day so I wanted to FP whatever I could and I had 2 hours to kill.
I headed over to Splash to get FP's but the machines were covered up. Why, I NO idea but there was only a 5 minutes wait so maybe it won't be so bad later. I went over to BTMRR and stuck my card in a got a FP then tried the other cards but couldn't get any. The guy working the machines was asking my why my shirt that was white with blue writing said "have a pink day" He also hooked me up with 3 more FP and said maybe the other cards were demagnetized because they were next to my credit card. Okay. Or maybe because the other 3 people didn't enter the park yet. I thought of that after I walked away. OOPS.
I kind of just wandered around after that not really knowing what to do so I caught part of the Dream Along With Mickey show on my way over to Tomorrowland. Ehh, not really for me. I DID see the little rose garden

I've read about. What a cute hidden gem, it's so pretty! I wanted some Buzz FP's and had to wait a bit before it was time so what to do, what to do? Hmmmmm, howz about Stitch? Did it last year and thought it was lame but I was trying to kill some time so in I went. I was also thinking this could be my last chance to stay in Cinderella's castle. Had to keep an eye out for a Dream Team member, ya know?! While I was in line I saw a Dis tag on someone's bag!!! Cool! This was the one and only time I didn't have my bag'n'tag with me. When we went in I was next to her and her son and told her I read the boards well, I was totally ready to make a new friend! She just said something about it being a world of info and that's it, did'nt even really look at me. I was bummed! Didn't even get her name or anything. I guess that's what I get for being the "ghetto mom". Payback, Leyla, payback. Ah well. I walked over to Buzz and those machines were covered up as well! The girl blasting eveyone at the entrance said there would only be a 5 minute wait all day. How they figure THAT out I do not know but who cares, it works for me! In that case, I'll ride right now! I stood in line but looked at the time and backed out, I didn't want to chance being late to the GF for pickup. I got some new sunglasses at the Emporium since mine broke on day 3. I was lamley trying hide my shame face from the other 'rents. Hopped back on the monorail and went down to the marina to wait for the boat. Ughhh, I don't even want to know what they were thinking of me! One guy asked how Cooper was doing and told me "We've all been there" so that made me feel better. Pierre was at the other side of the lagoon and called to say the boat was on it's way back as he's just seen it.
I guess I was mad because I knew how much he was looking forward to it and didn't want him to miss out on the experience. Parenting is the hardest job in the world and I really hand it to those who have the patience and determination to be able to stay at home.

Shoutout to DangerMouse who homeschools 3 kids to boot!
Up next, how was the cruise? How does Cooper handle the rest of the day? Will we enjoy our last day in MK?