Handling more than 1 special needs child

[alizesmom]

Sometime soon we will be blessed with a new daughter who, like Alize, is special needs. Trach, g-tube, CVI and developemental delays with a few lesser diagnosis. We can't wait but I'm more than willing to hear advice on how to manage two. Karen

 

[Scutapipig]

My advice would be to focus on the child and who they are, as opposed to what the child's disability is. The way you head into the relationship will set the tone for the choices that will be made in life. If you recognize who the person is before you recognize the disability, then the disability issues simply fall into place and become the norm for that individual.

With my two, I've found raising them wasn't any different than how my friends raised their children. We had different circumstances, but they laughed and cried and loved just like any other child. We accepted the child first, and then on a day to day basis, discovered that what we perceived to be a disability, really wasn't much more than the faith, concern, and love that every parent gives to their child. We chose an optimistic outlook and that set the tone for the rest of the world to follow our lead. If we would have used the "woe is me" attitude, I believe our life, our friends, and where we are today would be completely different and we would have actually created far more stress in our life than what would have been there normally.

So, how to manage two? The same way you manage one. Congratulations on your new little girl!

 

[Michigan]

I have 2 with spina bifida. Everyone always says I don't see how you do it but it's not any different then having one.

 

[Mason7AK]

Karen! Congratulations on your soon to be new little girl!
I looked for you at Disney in December, but never spotted your family - we must have been at different parks on different days! Hope you had a great trip!
I have 5 adopted children. The two older were adopted as "healthy newborns" and have their own set of problems believe me! LOL Oldest is 18 now and has worked through most of his ADHD and OCD problems and has turned out to be a fine well adjusted young man, but boy we had some tough years from age 10 to age 15! Our daughter is now 14 and about as "normal" as a teenage girl can be!
Our youngest three are all special needs. Our DD6 is non-verbal, non-ambulatory, CP, Seizure Disorder, G-tube fed and just the happiest, sweetest child alive! (I am a bit prejudiced). We had such a wonderful experience with her adoption and the joy she has brought to our lives, that we adopted our DS (now 5) just about 18 months after our DD. He is Spina Bifida and again, just a joy! We have adapted and adjusted and manage just fine with two in wheelchairs! Our youngest (and hubby says LAST) DD is now 2 and she has developmental delays, hearing loss and sensory issues. Again, we adjusted and adapted when she came along. We ARE glad she is walking now, as three in wheelchairs would have been a real challange!
If you have the love to give (and it sounds like you do!), then you will certainly manage with two special needs children! Don't worry too much and just take one day at a time! It will be soooo worth it!
Again, congrats! And feel free to PM me if you like! I love chatting with other special needs families!
Angela

 

[pcparamedics01]

Congratulations Karen!!! People say to me all the time it takes a special parent to deal with special needs. I always reply no it doesn't. I use to look back and wonder what life would be like if he was not ASD. You know it really does not matter to me anymore and he gives me so much to be blessed for!!! There are so many people that have children worse off than I do. I am truly blessed. I hope for a good delivery for you Karen!!!! When are you due?

 

[MarieS]

I have two sons with CP who are nonverbal and use wheelchairs. It can be challenging at times especially when one needs more care, attention, etc than the other but I think it all balances out eventually. I am lucky to have several wonderful sitters who are a huge help with the boys physical needs especially as they grow and are heavier. My sitters and my mom are also a huge help when one child is hospitalized. I also make sure to spend time with each son individually.

Congrats on your upcoming arrival!

 

[alizesmom]

Thanks for all of the suggestions. I just learned today that we should be able to pick her up on Friday Angela, I'm sorry I missed you at the parks. I hope your visit was as great as ours. Karen

 

[Figment1964]

Sometime soon we will be blessed with a new daughter who, like Alize, is special needs. Trach, g-tube, CVI and developemental delays with a few lesser diagnosis. We can't wait but I'm more than willing to hear advice on how to manage two. Karen

No advice, just a big congratulations!

We have 3 adopted children who all have special needs. We deal with autism spectrum disorder with 2, AD/HD with all 3, Sensory Integration Dysfunction with 2, Reactive Attachment with 1, and more that I'm not remembering right now. My boys are 14, 10, 9 (bio-son) and 8.

 

[alizesmom]

No advice, just a big congratulations!

We have 3 adopted children who all have special needs. We deal with autism spectrum disorder with 2, AD/HD with all 3, Sensory Integration Dysfunction with 2, Reactive Attachment with 1, and more that I'm not remembering right now. My boys are 14, 10, 9 (bio-son) and 8.

My hat's off to you. I deal much better with physical than behavioural issues. Enjoy your boys. Karen

 

[Figment1964]

My hat's off to you. I deal much better with physical than behavioural issues. Enjoy your boys. Karen

Awww, shucks.

Merry Christmas!

 

[mazz1]

i'm sending good wishes too for your new arrival, i cannot offer you any advice as i have two very able asd children but i do wish you well

i also echo about having a positive optomistic outlook, it really does make a difference

have a lovely christmas with both children Karen, enjoy every minute

 

[mechurchlady]

Have a Merry Christmas.

My pastor's wife explained how she got so good with raising kids. She kept her eye out for well mannered kids and looked at their parents and how the parents raised the kids. My advice based on her is for you to look for people who are doing something well and then find out how they do it.

My other advice is to ignore most advice you will get in life.

 

[pcparamedics01]

Have a Merry Christmas.

My pastor's wife explained how she got so good with raising kids. She kept her eye out for well mannered kids and looked at their parents and how the parents raised the kids. My advice based on her is for you to look for people who are doing something well and then find out how they do it.

My other advice is to ignore most advice you will get in life.

Well we go to Church.... Sometimes it is a disaster... But we try!!!!