If one of your children is sensitive to, as you put it, the whole grain, then you should think about just getting them completely off of wheat. After all, if they are sensitive to it now they more then likely will become more sensitive as they grow older.
My mother was diagnosed a few years back with Celiac Disease and ever since then she's been harping on me to go get tested. In lieu of visiting the doctor I just decided to eliminate gluten and wheat from my diet and see if anything changed. As it turned out, the dermatitis rashes I always seemed to get went away completely. Additionally, the constant heart burn I've lived with for over a decade went away.
After experiencing these health benefits from eliminating gluten and wheat from my diet I have become a staunch believer in gluten free and wheat free diets. Now, I think it's important to add that I do not know if I'm sensitive to gluten, or wheat or both but it's safe to say that since I eliminated these foods from my diet I feel much, much, much better. Did I mention I feel much better.
I will say this, since I live my life sans gluten and wheat I sometimes tend to indulge on special occasions. When I visit
Disneyland my will power disappears and I tend to eat a bunch of foods I shouldn't. Regardless, I don't notice any ill effects right away but after a few days of eating these foods I will get the worst case of heart burn, the kind that keeps you from sleeping and requires a bottle full of Tums just to make it tolerable. I also notice that the dermatitis comes back but it can take a week or so for it to appear. Keep in mind that this is after a few days of heavy indulging, not just a single instance.