Had to have a talk with my ds's Kindergarten teacher...

[Mermaid02]

Little over a week ago my son broke a "fidget" (a balloon filled with flour that the kids can hold and fidget with if they are having a hard time sitting still) and he lost his "fidget priveleges" for a week. The teacher didn't tell us this our son did and we talked about it. We talked about respecting peoples property and taking responsibility for your actions and replacing something you borrowed if you damage it. My dh hunted high and low and could not find a "fidget" anywhere. Monday my ds was happy when he got his "fidget" priveleges back. Yesterday he came home and said 2 other kids broke fidgets yesterday and Mr. P decided anyone who had broken a fidget couldn't have one for the rest of the year.

Soooooooo..... I called his teacher this morning and asked for his take on "the great fidget fiasco" He said there were no longer enough fidgets for everyone so he made the statement about losing them for the year... primarily out of frustration. I told him it put me in a difficult position as we supported the teacher and told our son basically- "do the time if you did the crime" and then it's done. I also told him that we spoke about the responsibilities of borrowing things that don't belong to you and we wanted our son to make a fidget to replace the one he broke. He said that was a great idea.... much better than his.... and said he would talk to the kids again today. Then he admitted he was extremely nervous when he heard I was on the phone. I told him that I don't believe in suffering in silence and if you have a problem you need to put it out on the table.

Sorry this is so long- I just wonder how many people would have done as I did- how many would have done nothing and if anyone else would have had a different suggestion.

 

[Suzy Mouse]

My first question would be...
"Why are kindergarteners allowed to play with a balloon filled with flour?" That to me sounds dangerous...and messy if it breaks. It also doesn't sound like a balloon would be able to put up with the pressure of being squeezed and of course would eventually break. I would think the teacher could come up with other ways for the students to release their frustration.
I am a special education teacher and deal with students who have behavioral difficulties. They have a few options to release any frustrations that they have.

1. they can play with a box filled with beans (running their fingers through them)
2. a foam "squeeze toy"

Now as to how you handled it...
I give you a lot of credit for supporting the teacher in front of your child and also for coming up with the suggestions that you did. I know that where I work the parents wouldn't do that. I like the way you spoke with the teacher and I am sure he appreciated the way you handled it.

 

[SeaSpray]

I think you did the right thing.... I definitely would've called that teacher too. And having your son make a new fidget is a great idea. I bet he'll feel good about replacing what he broke.

I'm sure he didn't break it on purpose, so I don't understand why the teacher "punished" him in the first place.

 

[Mermaid02]

It definately is messy- hence the frustration on the teachers part. They do use them like the foam squeeze toys you mention. The teacher learned to use them and make them at some teachers conference over the summer.

Ummmmmm- he kinda did break it on purpose..... drove his thumb through it. How tempting must that be?? Also Jack remembered that another child was the first one to break a fidget but the teacher had forgotten and that child was going to be allowed to use a "fidget"...... I said, "Kids don't forget ANYTHING"

If a teacher is doing a good job and they are kind and respectful of the kids I will support them 150%!

 

[Lorix2]

I have to "ditto" what SuzyMouse posted. I would think also after the mess that fidget would make, the kids would be sneezing alot? Can you imagine the dust cloud if a couple broke at the same time? I'm surprised the teacher would put that upon himself...never heard of this sort of thing.

I also give you great credit for trying to teach your son consequences for his actions and supporting the teacher.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Ummmmmm- he kinda did break it on purpose..... drove his thumb through it. How tempting must that be??

I have to admit that it's something I would try if I was fidgeting with a fidget.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I feel a need to defend fidgets. My kids both have Sensory Integration Disorder and have been taught by their Occupational Therapist to use fidgets in the classroom. I know not everyone has SID, but we can all benefit from using these gadgets. A fidget is something that allows you to mindlessly play with something while concentrating. It's like wiggling your foot or clicking a ballpoint or chewing on a pencil - all things that we sometimes do as adults.

I agree that the teacher might want to look at other options. I don't know that I would choose the messy balloon fidgets with these young children. There are many options! One might be to take up a collection and buy squishy balls that were mentioned. Maybe he could even ask for a variety of fidgets for Christmas? If anyone wants ideas of what could be used as a fidget, send me a PM or ask here. I'd be glad to type up a list of ideas.

By the way, what works as a fidget for one person might not work for another. Some kids can't have a particular "toy" without playing with it. If a child insists on bouncing a ball against the wall, that isn't mindless use of a fidget, so it isn't appropriate for him.

 

[tedsmom]

I think you handled it great, and I am sure that the teacher appreciated that you didn't get all crazy like some parents do. Teachers aren't perfect either, but this one sounds like he's trying.

I think the suggestions for different kinds of "fidgets" are good. Maybe share them with the teacher. I especially like the bean one...doesn't seem as if it would be as messy as flour.

 

[Maleficent2]

I would love that info.


Thanks



Mal

 

[jfulcer]

I like how you handled it - up front and no conflict.

I also wonder about the messiness of flour. Why not use sand or bird seed in the balloons? Those would provide similar situations and not be a powdery explosion when they break.

As an alternative, why not even just use something that is built directly for this - Stress Balls. This site here has a whole ton of them. They even have an apple stress ball.