Guests inviting guests...

[phlufster]

So one of my friends called me the other day and "casually" mentioned that one of my other friends had asked about my wedding. This is a friend that I don't keep in contact with myself. She has become sort of a friend-of-a-friend. When I was in high school, she was a good friend, but that is almost 10 years ago now and we just aren't that close. I haven't spoken to her in over a year, and I only keep up with her through friend #1. Now granted, I like her and she is a friend of mine, but I don't feel as though we are still close enough that I want to invite her to the wedding. We are having a reception when we get home and I was planning on inviting her to that, but now I am worried that she will be offended at only being invited to that part.

Anyone else go through this (I am sure there are many!) and how did you deal with it??

Jocelyn

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

I would just let her know about the reception, as well as let your friend that you are inviting to the wedding know about your plans. If she is a true friend she should be able to understand. I'm really surprised how supportive my friends have been about my decision to keep my ceremony semi-private, and they are already talking about how much fun the reception back home will be.

 

[Amberle3]

We've been telling people that unfortunately because of the venue we're limited with regards to the number of people we can invite to the wedding itself, and that we're disappointed that we just don't have the capacity to invite some of the people that we'd like to have there. We are planning on having a BBQs after the wedding though (wedding in Vegas, one BBQ in the city I live in, one BBQ in the city DFi lives in).

 

[DisneyBrideStacy]

I agree ~ say it is a venue issue, package issue, whatever

Since 90% of people don't know the details of your wedding at Disney and how it works, you can easily "blame" them for having to keep your guest list small if you want to.

We trimmed ours and used the excuse that the "package" we bought into only allowed for X number of guests

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

When we were originially thinking about getting married in Mexico, a lot of people started assuming they were invited. My aunt was even going to pay for a friend of my cousin's to come, who I don't know! That was part of the reason we decided on an intimate wedding in Disney. This way, only 8 guests will be coming and what I tell them is that the only affordable way for us to have a Disney wedding was to buy this package, so unfortunately, it can only be the 8 people who are parents and siblings. Most people understand and are just happy that we are having a reception BBQ when we get home. Hope this helps!

 

[twojo21]

our custom wdw wedding is a family only event of 55 with only our 2 closest friends as the bridal/groom party. however we have had extended family like many 2nd cousins, family of family & friends who have come out of the woodwork when they heard of our destination wedding. we have made it clear to everyone this is a intimate event. we are also hosting a party for everyone once we move into our home after the wedding. everyone has been understanding thus far.

best of luck. just stick to your guns & dont invite additional people you cant afford, want there or for any other reason unless you want them part of your day.

 

[DAWGPOUNDAJ]

Honestly hearing that others go through this really bothers me. Theres nothing ruder than inviting people to someone else's wedding without asking the bride and groom about it first. We had the same problem with our wedding, even thoug hit was not at Disney. We planned on having a very small wedding but my MIL had other plans. She was inviting people she worked with at her first job 25 years ago and my husband had never even heard of any of these people. We bluntly told her that if you want them to come you pay for them because we are not. That pretty much solved it minus her brat fit. I swear that woman needs to be medicated.

We also had the same problem with some casual friends who we talk to maybe 2 or 3 times a year. We got comments like "Gee thanks for iniviting me. What time should I show up?" The best way is to be blunt. Only a completely horrible person would argue with you when you honestly say, "Our budget was limited so were having a very small wedding. Mainly family and our wedding party." That holds true for most Disney weddings so you don't have to lie either, and the average wedding size in the US is 180 guests so even 50 guests is very small when compared to that. Just be honest and blunt. Call the casual friend up yourself and mention that its a very small wedding and your on a limited budget so its just family and a few friends you talk to frequently.

It really irks me that people think a wedding invite is a gage of how highly held you are to that person. Its ridiculous that people think if they are not invited that the person does not care about them, or even worse, that you need to invite everyone you've ever known! Very very messed up. Good luck with this but be firm. Some people need a cold reality check about whats polite and whats not. Also, talk to your friend who invited her about this. Make sure she doesnt start inviting other people to!

And if they get mad, well, I guess that shows how true of friends that these people really are. It's sad that things like that come out during happy times like when your planning a wedding, but its better to know than to not.

Hope that made sense. Good luck!