Group trip/Your opinions.....

[hogie1]

I'd like to hear your opinion on the matter.....

My 2 best friends and I have always planned on a group vacation after we all got married. Now were all legal couples and have planned on a WDW trip in August 2004. One of the guys spouse is a teacher, and we've been limited to 2 weeks and 3 months out of the year to take our trip when she is able too (she can't take vacation time from school??). After pushing and prodding we got them (her) to sacrifice (bend over backwards) and make our travel arrangements on a peticular week in Aug 2004. The other 4 of us would rather go in the fall like Sept/Oct but we really think it would be best to go as a group, as planned, with the 6 of us.
Now they want to add on 3 extra days to the beginning of the trip, so we'll just meet them there when they are already having a good time. Now I know you don't know any of the players involved, and I/we can't point to a peticular reason, but it really bothers us that they don't want to be together as a group. Yes, my wife and I have been to WDW 3 times in the last 4 years, but I want to go to as a group and I don't go around spoiling anything. When we get there, we don't want to hear "oh, we did this yesterday, and rode that ride the day before". To me it will ruin the group experience. We're paying an awful lot of money and I want to get the Mickey experience we pay for. Just thought I'd get a neutral point of view on the matter.

-Hogie1

Dec 2000 Dolphin/Disney Wonder
Oct 2001 Swan
Sept 2002 Grand Floridian
Aug 2004 Swan

 

[DisFam95]

I can completely relate!!! DH and I are going and he wanted it to be a big family trip and have his parents and sister/boyfriend come too. I love his family so that is totally not an issue. We are disney vets and none of them have been. His mother really did not want to go but "It's for the baby" - our 18mo. I'm trying to casually let them know they need to have some idea of what they want to do. They are showing up at the last 1/2 of our trip which I don't like. we always use the last days to bounce around and do our favorites. I bought them the Official Guide (so not to scare them with the other massive guides) Closer to the trip I'm going to get everyone together and discuss plans over dinner. They will only have 2 full/1 half days so I need to know which parks they want to see so we don't duplicate.

Can you get your friends to add on the end of the trip. If not just explain your concerns about duplicating things and see if they can't plan some activities during those 1st days that you don't wnat to do. We went with another couple last year and I was so concerned about travelling with them...travel can bring out the worst in people. We talked about plans before and what each person had in mind..do you sleep in? do you want to do early entry? counter service? sit-down? shows? We had a great time together and I think the talk before really helped.

Good luck!

 

[aesalsa]

First of all, teachers do have a huge responsibility to their students. Most teachers do not want the students' educational routine to be spoiled. And teachers must do A LOT of preparation(i.e., lesson plans, test-making, test-scheduling, meetings, grading. . .) for their normal school routine, and that work quadruples when they have to prepare everything for the substitute so that the students are adequately being taken care of. So, "she can't take vacation time from school??" Probably not, or it's in her best interest not to; it's a huge sacrifice to her, her students, and the school; it also takes away from sick days. Maybe your friend and his wife are just prioritizing, and her job just might be a little more important than the perfect timing for the group vacation.

At the same time, I know that group vacations are not as blissful as many expect them to be, especially if it is a WDW vacation. You want to do one thing, they don't, but you want to "stick together". Everything is not going to be perfect, unfortunately. I've been in you exact situation--it can be very stressful.

IMO, try to understand their situation. All of you ARE going to WDW together, albeit not at the preferred time of year. Make the best of it. Yes, they will be there a few days before the rest of you, but if you say anything about your disapproval, I can guarantee you that your dream WDW vacation with your buddies will be ruined. There would probably be a lot of hurt feelings, and since it seems you really care about your friends and this vacation, I can bet you would not want that. Just ask your buddy nicely not to spoil any surprises for the rest of you (which wouldn't be fair), and maybe you all can agree on certain rides/attractions that you will all experience together for the first time to make the vacation together very special to everyone. I'm pretty sure everyone would agree to that.

 

[lilsonicfan]

I think you should just tack on 3 days to your trip as well, and just don't spend those first 3 days all together... perhaps they just want some time to experience it for themselves, maybe they are worried that you guys as "veterans" will spoil the magic in that way.

 

[jann1033]

actually them being there for a few days may be an advantage as they could have gone on some of the rides you don't like and don't want to do again. but just resign yourself that going with a group is not going to be as easy as by yourself since you are not all going to want to do all the same things. that is why I have had to sit through iasw every stinking trip but the upcoming one( free at last!)! the more "easy going" every one is about that the better . I don't mean not planning, i mean not insisting that no one goes on what someone else doesn't want to go on and not wanting to wait or throwing a fit , just go on with a smile on your face.(earplugs if iasw.) and enjoy their reactions or sit it out... you know your friends and their temperments, you can still have lots of fun.

we have always gone enmass before and while it is fun it is also nice to have some time alone...the last group trip we were with the bunch morning, noon and night ( not sleep time but you get the idea) and it got a little tiresome ( even though we were good friends), others we have toured together but not had evenings together or vice versa and that worked the best. especially if they are newly married maybe they want to have so "alone" time. you could do what you miss in those "alone" times.

 

[hogie1]

Well, I thank you for your replies, and I am happy to report that all has worked out. We will all be traveling & staying together for the same week for our wonderful visit to WDW. We now are counting down the days and look forward to planning our trip together!!

 

[prncess674]

i still suggest some alone time. Even the best of friends need time to themselves. Last time I went with a group of friends several times I said "let's meet an hour from now at XYZ attraction." I used my alone time to shop and do things by myself without having to please others. Also a separate dinner for each couple one night will also sometimes be a welcome break. too much togetherness can be a bad thing.

 

[mudnuri]

Having done "group" trips a few times, most recently 6 years ago.....with 2 sets of BIL's families, and the In-laws to boot....10 Adults, 4 kids- plus me 8 mo pregnant in Virginia in August...

All I can say is SEPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do NOT plan your trip to be together all the time!!! Even during the day- VENTURE AWAY FROM THEM!!...going on vacation with someone is like living with them...........man I could NEVER live with my BIL's...

You need to sit down and plan it all- what time do they want to get up in the morning..how late do they want to say up at night...are they into intense rides, are they more the walk slow and poke around type..

Oh boy- this is getting the hair on the back of my neck to stand up on end..I better stop now...

Just an FYI--NEVER NEVER EVER EVER again will we go on vacation in a group........oh boy never!

Brandy

 

[TRAPPED-PARENT]

I agree with most of the others:

a) It's okay and beneficial to plan alone time or to throw out "you guys go ahead, I think we're going to take it easy today ... let's meet up later at ???" .... also, if someone says this to you, don't get in a funk because you expected them to behave in another manner.

b) Talk, talk, talk about expectations for the trip BEFORE HAND ... I cannot stress this enough!!!! What do you absolutely have to see? What are you expecting re meals/prices, etc?

I've known so many people that think because they go on a trip together, they have to be joined at the hip! NOT!!! Everyone has paid a lot of money for the trip and it is not fair to put those kinds of pressures on others (or them on you).

With a little preparation, I'm sure you'll all have a great time.