Green-eyed family members who are jealous of your trips to Disney?

[lsteadman]

Unfortunately, I am the first one in my immediate, first, second, third and fourth "removed" family to ever go to Disney. Because I have learned to manage my money better and every since our first trip, we try to go every year. This year my daughter and I are blessed and we are going to do a Disney World and Disney Cruise.

However, when my daughter returns from her trips she wants to share with other family members about her trip. My daughter never knows about the trips until the morning we leave. So the only time she can talk about this is when we get back. She usually starts with "Guess what...Mommy took me to Disney we just got back...."

The responses she get from the "adults." Not the children are "fighting" words. I have asked my daughter not to discuss with anyone in our family when we take trips because it always causes the adults in my family to say stupid things that only makes them looks even more stupid.

Another example, my car recently was stolen and when I said "I don't have money to get another car so I hope insurance will cover it all! My sister said, "If you wouldn't take so many d**n trips to Disney maybe you would have some money." Of course, it started a huge arguement. In which, I reminded her that what I do with my money is my business and that is what the INSURANCE is for. I was just stating that I hope they cover all of the repairs. I got the car back with the stearing column broke and other damages. (Insurance did cover it all - minus my deducticle, of course).


Everyone knows that I am obessed with Disney....if you walk into my house you would understand. Disney everywhere!!!!

I see by the signatures that there are many other people on this boards who go to Disney yearly. How do you deal with the people who just don't understand your yearly trips to Disney? Do you have family or friends who are jealous?

What I have decided to do is not go around "those" family members...a lot of them... I am just not going to let them make my daughter or myself feel bad about our trips to Disney.

 

[Skylarr29]

You know what, just enjoy what you have with your daughter. The memories you will make together are priceless . If any one else can't understand that then it is thier problem. I don't have a great deal of money but dh and I always somehow make money for disney(and for our happiness)!!!!

 

[disneyag]

Enjoy the fact that you manage your money responsibly!

I am sure you are creating great memories for your DD -- hold on to that and ignore the rest.

 

[marcyinPA]

Well, not family members but friends who do that. Actually, only one of my friends. We don't go every year, but usually every other. Well, this past trip I started planning our next one for Dec. 2005. My friend said "You just got back...how can you want to go again". I also get "Don't you want to go anywhere else"...amongst the looks from her like I have 3 heads. I don't know why, but it really bothers me, so much that I sometimes reconsider planning another trip.

My dh just became employed last year after being laid off for almost two years, so we really DON'T have the money to spend on vacation (we have it, but we should use it for other things IYKWIM) so alot of times when I talk about going to Disney, I get from some family members "Can you afford that"...none of their business. We just sacrifice other things in order to afford a Disney vacation with our kids.

I am actually considering maybe throwing in a trip inbetween this past one and our next one with just dh and I. That will really get people talking

 

[TDS373X]

I too am from a family who doesn't get the Disney thing and often wonders where I came from. I have been 18 times my 4 y/o dd has been 4 times...it has always been a special place for us . It used to bother me alot the comments I'd get from friends and family but the older I got the less I cared about what they thought...Many families have a favorite vacation spot ours is WDW some go to the beach, some to the mountains. to each his own. In the last 4 trips to WDW my brother has had 4 houses, 3 kids and 3 VERY expensive purebred dogs. I don't agree with all of that but it's his life..and I know he thinks I'm nuts for going to WDW every year...we just don't talk about it

 

[mamalle]

I really dont care what they say- my kids are only young once and love every minute of it. I wish I could take them there more often as it is. my inlaws dont get it at all much less sil who lives 20 minutes away from wdw and wont come over to meet us- unless you count the one time she did because I paid her way in. I work hard, provide for my family and by golly we are going to go to disney as often as we like.

 

[dsnycrzy]

I get it a lot from some of my family members and my co-workers.
I agree with mamalle, your kids are only young once and you should enjoy every moment. They grow fast and wasting time wondering if you should skip a year to please grown crazy people is out of the question. Look at your pictures from each trip, see the difference in growth? Keep taking your trips and just keep your daughter away from the negative people

 

[kelscross]

My family wouldn't approve of us going this year as we just went last year.

My mom goes with us so that's no big deal, but when my grandfather died last year several months before our trip comments were made that if I could afford a Disney trip then I could afford a baby sitter so that my grandparents didn't have to watch the kids which supposedly "killed" my grandfather

That is not what "killed" my grandfather and they volunteered to watch the children even after I told them they shouldn't because he was getting sicker and sicker by the day.

My brother is so jealous he and his wife went as far as to call Children's Services on me saying that I beat up my girls!! Of course the allegations were unsubstantiated and Children's Services said things were okay and my girls are obviously not abused and very happy and healthy.

I can not help it that I save my money very wisely in order to take trips. For goodness sake this will only be our second trip in a row. I never let any of my bills go without being paid so I can go on vacation unlike others in my family.

I am a Nursing Student and I work, and I raise my children all by myself...we deserve it!!

Sorry had to vent...it is frustrating and I know how the OP feels.

 

[Sandy Feet]

The cruelty of family towards each other is unbelievable. If our children aren't starved for the essentials in life: food/shelter/love, and we can adjust our budgets to afford a trip, then we're doing all right.

Some of my in-laws are struggling financially and think we're rich by comparision. HA! So they're gonna flip when they find out where we are going. Sure as heck not going to let on how much it's costing. They won't understand how much/long we've saved for this *magical* time.

I was worried about our upcoming trip for two reasons (1) the cost, and (2) that perhaps we should have a trip somewhere more "real/cultural" or what ever (please don't flame me for saying that). But a close friend explained that it is important for families to have family only trips sometimes and that it's important to do FUN stuff with your kids. These are things that create close bonds and memories. And each to his own. One family may prefer to go camping, one to go to the city and others to Disney.

When I was a child every "big" holiday was spent visiting my grandparents who lived far away. This was important to us and we felt very close to them despite the distance. But my mother later said she wished we'd been able to travel more and to different places. Keeping that in mind, we try to plan visiting family holidays and family only holidays to different places. I had asked Grandma like to join us, and asked if my nephew could. But since my nephew may be visiting Grandma this year, neither of them can come. And you know what? I'm kinda happy about that!

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

 

[seashoreCM]

I forgot the thread but I think it was under "Theme Park Attractions & Strategies"

The person was trying to figure out how to handle things when his parents moved to Florida and wanted him to visit them rather than take his family to WDW.

Originally posted by Sandy Feet
Some of my in-laws are struggling financially and think we're rich by comparision. HA! So they're gonna flip when they find out where we are going. Sure as heck not going to let on how much it's costing. They won't understand how much/long we've saved for this *magical* time.

Just my opinion but, when the siblings and inlaws' families differ economically, the poorer family should put their limited money into a Walt Disney World trip (if they wish) even if it means much more meager Christmas gifts (by comparison) to the relatives.

Originally posted by lsteadman
Another example, my car recently was stolen and when I said "I don't have money to get another car so I hope insurance will cover it all! My sister said, "If you wouldn't take so many d**n trips to Disney maybe you would have some money."

If you have the choice between collecting insurance (legally and propery) or foregoing the trip to Disney, by all means go to Disney and take the insurance. Admittedly society (all of us) pays in the long run when more peole take the insurance but sociey is to blame for not cracking down on crime and car thefts.

Hints for getting along:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/family.htm

Get The Club(tm) When thieves see that big red rod on your steering wheel they will go after somebody else's car instead.

 

[Sandy Feet]

Originally posted by seashoreCM

Just my opinion but, when the siblings and inlaws' families differ economically, the poorer family should put their limited money into a Walt Disney World trip (if they wish) even if it means much more meager Christmas gifts (by comparison) to the relatives.

Exactly. Only my in-laws either give little gifts or none at all but their kids expect us to give them big ones. Don't get me wrong, we totally understand why they give small gifts, but to expect to get BIG ones?? Sigh...

 

[DisneyPhD]

Now that we own DVC we get less of the "Your going THERE again" looks. It makes more sense to them (like I care). But they still think we are a little nuts.

One of my brothers travels around the world monthy (for work or pleasure.) They know what they are doing and never let normal problems (sickness, lost stollen things ect..) get in there way of enjoying the trip. If they wanted to they could do WDW (and have for conventions) but perfer "real places". They also don't have kids.

One brother is a widower. He has 3 kids and often we take one of them with us on vacation. (sometimes WDW, sometimes the ocean to visit family or camping.) We hope to go all together some time with our DVC membership, but his youngest son has some senosry problems so we are waiting for better cooperation and tolerance before this trip happens. (for his and our enjoyment).

My other brother has a child a year older then our DD. I know when we go she is very jelous that she doesn't get to go to WDW every year (or more often when we have an AP) like her younger cousin does. However they don't manage money well, and don't travel well (something always comes up to make the trip less of a vacation then staying home.) They do love their DD very much and the day will come when they make the trip for her, but more of those wait until they are 8 or 9 and go once trips.

I would love for my parents to come with us, I don't see that happening with my father's current health issues. I am glad I have memoires of him being ther when I was younger.

My husbands parents sometimes visit us while they are in FLA for the winter. His brother and wife (after much ecouragment from us, and using our DVC room) came on a trip one year. It is fun to share with family, but more work then going alone.

By now most people who know us have accpeted this is our "thing" and when they paln a trip to WDW ask us for advice.

 

[melindaandrob]

A friend of mine got really hostile with me recently about our trips to WDW. I mentioned we were hoping to go in January. In a matter of seconds I pointed out to her the things we don't have that they pay for, a second car,a pool, a hot tub. THEN she mentioned her household income probably being less. I was surprised too, her's is double. I don't think she'll mention it again.
I'm still struggling with the people who comment, I don't really care but it gets frustrating, why should I have to justify it?

 

[bubbasmom99]

I succumbed to the pressure earlier this year (the "you're going there again?" pressure) and decided that we should try vacationing somewhere different.

We took the kids to Washington DC and Colonial Williamsburg last month and the only person that had a good time was my husband (the social sciences buff). I spent too much time worrying that the kids were bored and/or miserable to enjoy myself (they are 5 and 2). Everything was a comparison to Disney. It was really not a 'vacation'.

What my husband and I learned was that we are happiest when we are at a Disney park. And that I should never let what other people think dictate whether I go to Disney every year!

 

[stacie_d]

I can somewhat understand.

Neither my family nor my friends "get it."

It seems none of my family can "justify" spending some money on what would probably create the most amazing memories they would ever had. Growing up, vacations were non-existent. In fact, the only "vacation" we ever took while I was young was a two-night trip to Sea World. But still, I remember it fondly. And that is why vacations are a priority to me now. Because, I think that while you forget, or at least appreciate and understand, the sacrafices, you always treasure the memories.

My DS is 5 now, and honestly, I do not know of how many times he has been to disney off the top off my head, but I think it has been five. His first trip was a day or so after his first birthday. That was my DH first trip as well, and my 2nd (1st was with a school trip in high school). My DS, like any child his age, loves everything about Disney. So, "justified" because I just graduated law school, and DS will start Kindergarten this year, we are going to DW in August.

My DS really wants his grandparents to go with us. In my very biased opinion, he would be the best "world" guide ever. But, in all honesty, I don't expect either my parents, nor my husband's parents, to ever go with us. And it is not that they can't afford it. It is just that they don't see it as a priority in a way that they want to save up for it for a few months (because they don't have paid vacations.)

Besides, both my friends and family think nothing about spending nealy the same amount we spend on our trips to disney to go elsewhere. It's like they have a preconceived idea about what a disney vacation costs. But, from what we have seen, it does not cost us anymore to go to disney that anywhere else.

Sorry for rambing, but I just wanted to say have fun, and make those memories with your DD, beacause it is those memories that she will remember.

 

[Miniefan]

You know I think this happens to anyone who really enjoys WDW, we get it from our family members/ friends, and it's almost as if they think we are living beyond our means. We went in March and are going back in Oct, and I asked my Sil if her and Bil and Dnephews would like to join us and she said oh we can't afford to go to WDW. It's like people think WDW costs a fortune or something, they would rather just assume it costs too much for them to go then check and see what deals they could get. My dh and I are not rich by any means but we were able to go with $700 last time and still came home with $200. We were there for 5 days, and tickets and room were prepaid though. I think a lot of it is just pure old fashion jealousy. but there's always going to be people like that.
Kim

 

[mistaroo]

Ugh, I can totally commiserate. Isn't it annoying??

In Nov we went to WDW and my Mom came along with us (not that it matters, but my Mom paid her own way to help us out). Thankgiving was just a couple weeks after we got home and all my brothers and their families came to my Mom's for dinner. My Mom was excited to tell everyone about the trip as it was my son's first birthday and our first vacation together in a long time. My SIL had the nerve to get snippy with my Mom and said her sons haven't been to WDW yet and they are five...as if my Mom was a horrible grandmother for not taking her kids! SIL didn't want to hear about the trip or see the video or anything! It was just plain mean and rude. My Mom said "well your kids have been africa twice already" and my SIL got quiet (africa is my SIL's home country and even though they are flat broke, go and spend thousands of thousands of dollars). Some people are just jealous no matter what and nothing can be done about it.

Sorry your relatives are so jealous, too. Just ignore them and enjoy yourself at WDW!!!

 

[SKFamily]

We haven't even told certain family members we are going because it would be held against us and somehow construed as us throwing something in their faces. (never mind the fact that they said three years ago they were going, and have yet to... they are taking their kids to Six Flags instead this year) These are the same people who hold against us (saying that we throw it in their faces) these things:

1. Dh has a university degree and has been using it since he graduated. The other family member has a college diploma and only recently started using it after however many years of not being able to find full time work in his field. (to this we actually say so what? at least now he's in his field and happy with it)
2. We have a newer vehicle than they do - by one whole year.
3. We also have the baby of the family. For some reason this bothers them.
   [/list=1]
   
   Due to this pettiness, we simply don't have anything to do with them anymore. It isn't worth our time, or the stress it causes. The fact that they would hold our child against us just floored me. And then to say that we "throw it in their faces" We go to family gatherings as just that... a family. We don't flaunt anything, we have nothing to flaunt. Nothing they couldn't have.
   
   So we will go on our trip, and enjoy ourselves. When the snotty comments start at the next family gathering after we get back, I will try desperately to bite my tongue and walk away.

 

[susy]

True! True! I can totally relate to what everyone is saying!!!

It recently occured to me recently, however, that "we" are not the only ones "obsessed". Look and listen. What does eveyone else talk about? Houses-homes-fixing up their homes- property values..blah..blah..blah...

I can tell you from experience-I used to live in a two story-five bedroom home with a pool on Alton Rd in Miami Beach. I was miserable!!! A fancy house will NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!!!!! Having an investment is one thing...being "house poor" is another. Most of our family and friends spend a disproportionate amount of money on their mortage=no money for anything else.

Last weekend we came home from the Beach Club and I thanked God for this two bedroom, 35 year-old condo that permits us to live like kings on my husband's income. It is no slum, don't get me wrong. We are on a golf course, ten minutes from the beach , right between Miami and Ft Lauderdale. I bought it dirt cheap ten years ago and here we are! We always get the "When are you going to buy a house?" "Mmmmm", I say, "When I decide that I would rather spend every weekend in the hot Fl sun doing yard work, than going to WDW!"

Sorry for the ramble, but just wanted to point out that we aren't the only ones with an obsession!

We aren' t the only ones obsessed!!!!!

 

[SKFamily]

And if our families are clothed, fed and sheltered, and we are not asking for handouts, is it really anybody else's business what we do with our money? I think not. And it is certainly not their place to judge us for it, either.