Grandparents watching Grandkids

[disney junky]

Just curious how many others of you are out there.

I am 62 and a retired school teacher. Have a real estate license and not using it currently other than to refer to agents who are working. My wife is still working and has another three or so years until she can consider retiring.

My current role is watching my three year old grandson. His mom, my daughter-in-law, does some cleaning during the day. My granddaughter is in first grade so she's out of the equation. Some weeks I watch him over 20 hours, others, not so much. I was a high school teacher, so my skills with 3 year olds are limited to my own two kids passing through that age....

I'm teaching him to eat poorly and leave the toilet seat up.

I'm told to treasure these times. I'm finding that hard right now...

What are some others' experiences?

 

[NYCgrrl]

LOL to the toilet seat up and junk food.
I don't get to be a "real" grandmother who spoils 'em and sends them home.
One of my granddaughters lives with us 3/4s of the year so I'm just a "boring" second mother.....the man never got the memo so indulges her as much as he can get away with.

 

[AP1209]

So daughter in law is stay at home mom but you still watch your grandson 20 hours a week sometimes? That seems like a lot. Guessing this is not what you want to do for retirement. I don't have any answers but wish you the best.

My mom still works but we have an agreement that she will watch the kids one weekend a month. We are very blessed to have that. My wife's parents are not the type to watch the kids longer than a movie date.

 

[hereyago]

This is my experience and I love it, most days,lol.

I work full time then come home. 2 hours later, DD goes to her job and I watch dgd3.

I do have to ask just for clarification: the mom has your keep him so she can clean her house or does she have a side job cleaning?

 

[disney junky]

She cleans other people's homes. Sorry for the confusion .

 

[tazdev3225]

I have been watching my grandkids since the oldest DGS was born 20 years ago. When I retired I became the full time watcher of kids to my daughters children while she worked. I have joked that I retired from one job with pay to the best job in the world with no pay. Now that the kids are getting older and in school I am not needed as often, after school or in the summer, but I treasure every moment of it. I did not have the luxury of being the spoil them and leave them grandmother but I have something much better. They love me and have memories that will last long after I am gone. I wouldn't trade a second of it.

 

[china mom]

I used to pay my son to watch his grandmother - does that count?

 

[MissManda]

My mom and dad watch my three year old while I work full-time. He also goes to preschool a couple of days a week so that gives them a break. My Mom has always babysat children for a living and is used to having little ones around - currently my son is the only one that she watches. My dad ended up retiring earlier than planned due to cancer treatments (he is fine now) and he is home all day as well. Let me tell you, my three year old thinks that Grandma and Grandpa hung the moon. He loves them so much and on the weekends he tells me that he's sad because he misses them. It really can be a special time. It doesn't hurt that they spoil him rotten and he's picked up a few bad eating habit from them too (so you are not alone!).

I hope you are able to find that with your little grandchild and see make beautiful memories!

I for one am very, very grateful that my parents were willing to watch him for me.

 

[MrsPete]

I think the question is, Do you want to watch the grandson 20 hours a week and welcome the time with him, or are you doing it because you feel sort of trapped into it?
I don't have any grandchildren yet, but I'd love to do exactly what you're doing. Are you looking for ideas for activities? Go to Pinterest. You can find loads of educational ideas, which -- as a fellow teacher -- I assume you'd welcome. Look around for some group activities to which you could take him. Three is a great age -- those little brains are just exploding, and those little fingers are really becoming capable of writing and crafting.
If you don't want to keep doing this, tell your daughter-in-law.

 

[bellebud]

We paid my mil to watch our infant daughter (years ago) 1 day a week. This was for about 6 months. My mom came to help her (give her a break) for a few hours in-between her jobs (my mom still worked, and my mom wouldn't take money from us). Other than that, I can count on 1 hand the amount of times we've asked either of them to babysit. We were lucky we didn't need to ask (we owned our own business and brought the kids to work when we needed to, then I started staying home with them).

 

[lorimay]

I have been a grandma for 10 years now!
My daughter started young and so I was a grandma at 44.
I worked then and she was home, she had her 2nd 19 months later.
She went back to work a couple years ago and I became a stay at home wife in 2011.
I now pick them up from school most days, sometimes I keep them with me till she is done at 430.
The days my son in law is off, I pick them up and bring them to him (they have one personal car and he has a work car)
My son and daughter in law blessed us with a new little one 6 months ago, they live with us while they save to purchase a home.
I have him every day and I love it.
I am working harder now than I can remember ever before, but grandkids are the best

I am a fulltime grandma addicted to her grandkids!!

 

[mrsheppo]

I babysit my 3 yr old grandson approximately 20 hours a week too. He's a smart little guy that makes me laugh. He loves to help me around the house like putting the clothes in the dryer and dusting. He loves going to the grocery store too. He just got potty trained and the only thing I have to correct him on lately is putting his hands in his pants.

I started watching him as an infant when his mom was having cancer treatments. She's great today and back to work and so we have our Tuesdays and Wednesdays together. Enjoy this time with your grandson. He'll be grown before you know it!

 

[SG131]

I have a different perspective to offer as the child who was watched full time by my grandmother when I was little. I am so glad I had that time with her and we had such a special bond that carried on through adulthood. I have so many wonderful memories of her from when I was a kid and was so lucky to have her. We did some crazy things my mom never would’ve been ok with and had a blast.

I can’t express in words how special she was to me. She was still working when my brother was a kid and my cousins live out of state and I feel sorry for them that they didn’t get to experience her the way I did. I’m sure I drove her nuts sometimes, at one point when I was a little older I decided to pretend I was Harriet the spy follow her around and right down absolutely everything she did! Thankfully she was pretty patient with me. If you are able, keep doing what you’re doing. All the time spent with junk food and leaving the seat up will only make your bond stronger when he grows up.

 

[mummabear]

I'm told to treasure these times. I'm finding that hard right now...

The days are long but the years are short

 

[tvguy]

My mom watched my son full time from age 3 months to age 2 1/2 when he started pre-school. When our daughter was born 4 years after our son, my mom insisted that she would be watching her from 3 months to age 3 1/2. Once both kids were in school they were at my moms for school holidays since holidays are not days off for my wife and I.
. She was 64 when she started watching our son and had been retired for 2 years. She was 68 when started watching our daughter. My mom thrived on it. She passed away 5 years ago when my kids were 22 and 26 and the bond they had with my mom is irreplaceable. I never knew my Grandparents, 3 were deceased by the time I was born, and the 4th passed before I got to meet him.

 

[cinnaminny]

I am not a grandma yet, but I will be one soon. I will be a pretty young granny since I will be 43 when it happens so I don't really anticipate the same situation.

Having said that, I was a young single mom with two kids twenty years ago (I had one more since then) and my parents helped me a lot. My kids were lucky to grow up with a really close bond to their grandparents. My parents were lucky to have that close bond with their grandchildren. I wished I had that bond with my grandparents.

 

[BLAZEY]

My mum and SMIL & FIL watched DD9 when she was 1-5. I was off on maternity leave for a year, went back when she was just shy of her 1st birthday. she went to daycare Mon & Tues, Wed was with my mum and Thur /Fri was with my inlaws. I worked for all of us. We paid less for daycare, but she still got socialization with her peers, and built strong bonds with her grandparents without over burdening them. DD's now 9 and in school. My inlaws still get her Fridays after school, we get her back Saturday. My mum takes her if she's sick so I don't need to miss work, and on ProD days. I take her to school and DH picks her up as our schedules are off set to make this possible.

 

[gemini2727]

My mom had to go back to work when I was about five, so my Grandma took over for her and took care of me every day. She was an angel, and we became so close as I grew up. (It didn't hurt that she had a never-ending supply of M&Ms and Ring Dings.) I tear up just thinking how much I miss her still, she's been gone for quite a while now. That time together, with someone who loves you so unconditionally, is such a gift.

 

[Skellingtonj]

My in laws watch my nephew 87 Times a week. He is always over there. They have a wedding, a party, one had to work, the other has a headache, he is there. My parents watch my kids here and there. My dad works full time and so does my mom. I don’t like to ask them too much.

 

[MrsPete]

We paid my mil to watch our infant daughter (years ago) 1 day a week.

My grandmother babysat my oldest when she was a newborn, much to the joy of both. She (my grandmother) suggested a great plan about money: She said she WOULD NOT accept money to babysit her great-granddaughter, so she suggested that we figure out what we would pay if we'd been using a day care ... and put that money into the baby's college fund. My grandmother had been a teacher and was VERY, VERY interested in all us kids' educations, so she loved knowing that she'd contributed -- not in cash money, but through her actions -- to the baby's college account.

We intend to make the same offer to our adult children when the time arrives.

My kids were lucky to grow up with a really close bond to their grandparents.

I grew up very close to my grandmother ... and my parents started out being close to my children, but then they retired and started traveling and were gone more than they were home, and that bond was broken for 7-8 years ... and they lost the connection. My husband and I're close to retirement, and we've been talking about our retirement goals. One goal is to spend lots of time with /develop a close bond with our (future) grandchildren.