Grace is repeating kindergarten....Update post 22...

[AmazingGrace]

We didn't send her to preschool, and when she started Kindergarten in Mississippi, this wasn't a problem. Her teacher had quite a few kids who didn't do preschool, so Grace didn't have any problems. Then Katrina hit. Altogether she missed four weeks of school, one of those weeks was spent in a shelter and waiting for daddy to come home.
She starts back to school. Things are slowly limping back to normal. Then we find out we're moving to Texas. Mississippi, on a good day, is behind Texas school wise. She's been so behind with her letters. She cried every day for a couple of months after moving here. She's caught up a little bit, but is still pretty behind where she should be. Plus, I feel like she didn't get a good kindergarten experience. So, I'm going to let her repeat. Her birthday was in March. She's be a little older, but we're okay with that. We have her ARD meeting this Tuesday and her counselor is trying to tell me that if she promotes to first, she can go to resource room and reading recovery to catch up. My thought on that is, I want her to go to first grade not needing those things. I don't want her to be behind.
Any other parents keep their kids back in kindergarten and how did that go for your kids? Was it a good decision?

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I held my DS back in pre-school. He is now finishing up 1st grade. He turned 8 in April and some of the kids in his class aren't even 7 yet.

But he does not struggle. We still spend about 1/2 hour-1 hour on his homework about 3-4 times a week. And he got straight A's last semester. I see some of the younger kids struggle in his class. I don't regret it. Better now than in 4th or 5th grade, when she'll really be falling behind. Good luck to you and DD.

 

[CEDmom]

I think given your circumstances you're doing the right thing. In many ways a child's success in school has to do with their own self confidence - I think I can, I think I can.

It sounds like your DD needs to get that confidence back and repeating is likely the best way to do it. Many children repeat kindergarten for all kinds of reasons and really blossom because of it. Good luck to your DD - I truely hope it'll be an uneventful year for all of you.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I really think you are making a great choice for her. I was just reading an article the other day how most of the hurricane evacuees kids have really struggled with their school relocation this year.

I think there is a very good chance that 5 years from now, you'll be very very glad that you did this for her.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have no children, but my boss did this with her child and it made a world of difference in his school experience.

His Kindergarten teacher the first year said "they will form a lot of their perceptions about school in their first years, so make them positive". hHe is now finishing first grade, and is just better able to sit still longer and focus more than he would have been a year ago at this time, when he would have been in 1st grade had she not kept him back.

She's a little girl and has had a traumatic kindergarten year. I think your plan is sound.

 

[LadyZolt]

I totally agree that you should let her repeat it. I think she'll do very well and that this will actually help her be successful in the rest of her schooling, too.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[Daxx]

Holding her back will make her a stronger, better prepared student for first grade and will make her foundation more solid. This comes from a Kdg. teacher - me. Do not make her struggle in first grade and be taken out for resource room. If a child feels like a failure early on, that failure chain will continue throughout their education. I absolutely feel it better to hold back in Kdg. than holding back in 3rd or 4th grade when the other kids know and might make fun.

I had one child repeat Kdg. last school year. Let me tell you that it was the best thing for that child. He is at the top of his 1st grade class this year. He really needed the extra year for reinforcement. I could have promoted him but felt he'd be a stronger student w/the additional year. Thankfully, his mother and I grew up together and she trusted my judgement. She comes to my classroom every so often, thanking me for holding him back b/c he's doing so well. It was wonderful to see the changes that the year made w/in my classroom. And now, his self confidence has grown and that he will carry a positive attitude about school for the rest of his life.

This year, I have a child who will need to repeat for maturity reasons. The child has recently shown some improvements in class, but not enough to be 1st grade ready. I'm thrilled that his parents have seen this and are agreeing to hold him back.

If anything, the extra year in Kdg. gives added self confidence and reinforces for a stronger foundation. You're not doing your child a disservice by holding her back. Your plan sounds great!

Warmly,
Daxx's Wife

 

[JoyG]

My twins are both going to repeat K next year. They are doing fine in public school but they were just accepted at a private school that is known for being academically challenging. So they would have been unprepared for 1st grade in that building.

I don't think an extra year in K will hurt them. They are both goofy and some extra time to mature won't be bad...and I'm all for them getting even stronger in their basic reading skills...

 

[twocjsmom]

I think you're making a wise decision to have her repeat kindergarten. In fact, it makes me squirm to think that it was actually proposed to you that she could be identified as needing special education services if she went on to the first grade. Normally, I am not a big supporter of retention, but given your circumstances, it seems like the best fit for what your daughter will need. The reason I was surprised by the idea of moving her on to the first grade as an identified special education student is that it clearly states in the regulations for LD that a student cannot be classified under that category if there has not been "opportunity to learn". In my book (and keep in mind, I'm a school psychologist) missing 4 weeks of school due to a natural disaster and then transferring to a new school with a curriculum that is advanced compared to the old curriculum seems to fit the bill for not having had the opportunity to learn.


Good luck! I do think that you are making the right decision!

 

[LBAK]

I think that's a great decision. I wanted to retain my daughter in second grade but the school wouldn't allow it. She had learning disabilities and low self esteem. She struggled all through school. If given the chance I would rather have my child repeat a year and be in the top of the class rather then promote and struggle at the bottom. That also can be a problem.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I held back both of school age children due to late birthdays. I've never for one second regretted it!

You are giving your daughter the wonderful, simple gift of time.

Lori

 

[Disney Hot Mama]

I think that's a great decision. I wanted to retain my daughter in second grade but the school wouldn't allow it. She had learning disabilities and low self esteem. She struggled all through school. If given the chance I would rather have my child repeat a year and be in the top of the class rather then promote and struggle at the bottom. That also can be a problem.

I think you are making the correct decision for your daughter too. She will come out of this a stronger more confident child. She will not struggle with assignments and will be more mature than her classmates (or right on par)
Dont second guess your choices. After all it is your child and you are her #1 cheerleader.

LBAK - don't you as the mother have the final decision???!!!!!

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

We are going through this decision right now. My daughter was just diagnosed with ADD. The biggest thing that I am struggling with is if we should put her into a different school to start over. She is currently in a private school along with her older siblings. I hate the thoughts of her being in a different school although they will only be there for another 2-3 years before they are in high school.

The thoughts of her not advancing with her friends or being in the same classroom bothers me, but I am also not sure how she will react when she sees her friends in a different grade. SHe had been talking up a storm about graduation and being in first grade. She will be able to graduate no matter what our decision is. But I can't imagine telling her she won't be in first grade.

The pyschologist recommends putting her in the public school because private school is not required to do anything for ADD students and with a new school she won't see her old friends so the transition would be easier.

Our family doctor says that in public school she would get lost in the crowd and that she would get more attention at the private school.

Throw in that my husband is in law enforcement (one reason we chose private school), we both came from strong private school backgrounds, and my older children are doing very well at the school. I also hate the thought of her being in a different school from her brother and sister. I know they are not in the same grades but at least they are there to watch out for her on the bus and they do see her throughout the day. I know they will be out of there in a couple of years, but by then she will be older also.

Needless to say this dilema has been bothering us very much. We want to do what is best for her.

I have also been leaning towards telling them we won't make the decision until August and enrolling her in a specialized reading program at the local college and seeing how she does with that.

Sorry for posting under your thread, but I thought maybe those who have suggestions for you may have them for me also.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Quinn222]

Good for you for making what had to be a hard decision. This is really going to help your daughter have a good experience in school.

 

[zurgswife]

My dd repeated K mostly at that time due to the fact that she was the youngest in the class and had a few clues that she might have learning problems...Fast forward 2nd grade she has pretty large issues learning to read; showing similar tendencies to dyslexia like her older brother. She would have been soo lost if I hadn't kept her back. At least right now she has a strong personality and can handle some of the education set backs. She is in a small church school and she probably would be better off in a public school but tearing her away from her peer group is very difficult for me....

 

[Robinrs]

I had to make this same decision for my son in kindergarten. That year I was VERY ill, every night he would come home and with his sweet little 5 year old heart, take care of ME... It's just me and Michael, he was all I had.

When they told me they were considering holding him back I blamed myself over and over. I felt like I let him down and just beat myself up about it.

My Mom, God rest her precious soul, told me something that changed my life... "Robin, the boy's not STUPID, he's the wisest soul I've ever known. This way HE'LL realize it."

In her wonderful "MOM" way she was telling me to let it go. He would struggle for the rest of his school days if he was pushed through and he'd NEVER catch up.

I agreed and it was the best decision I ever made.

Michael is now in the 6th grade. He is the oldest and the most mature child in his class and his teachers LOVE him. He has excelled in middle school, on his last report card he had a 90 average. It has done wonders for his self esteem.

Yes, there were times that he was a bit upset about it, like when his school mates from his FIRST kindergarten graduated from elementary school. They met up again this year and they were thrilled to see him. His attitude about it is a reflection of how we see it, Mom, and we must continually remind them that they're OKAY.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[lbgraves]

You know your child best!!! This sounds like the perfect decision for your DD. I agree that it will be better for her to stay back one year than to advance being at a disadvantage. I have been in the classrooms & the kids that are pulled out for special needs miss classroom instruction...so they fall behind with that course work as well. DD started Kindergarten this year. She didn't turn 5 until after school started. I talked with her teacher & the principal last year when she was registered and they knew that if she didn't have a solid foundation by February, I wanted her to repeat Kindergarten. It wasn't until then that we started talking to her about going to first grade. Up until that point she was going to go to a different Kindergarten class next year. She had chosen the teacher already & it was a positive thing for us.

 

[minkydog]

I think that's a great decision. I wanted to retain my daughter in second grade but the school wouldn't allow it. She had learning disabilities and low self esteem. She struggled all through school. If given the chance I would rather have my child repeat a year and be in the top of the class rather then promote and struggle at the bottom. That also can be a problem.

I agree. It is the one thing I wish I had done differently. My oldest child has learning differences and I wanted to hold him back, but his teacher urged me to put him in first grade. He never really did catch up and we eventually homeschooled him to get him on track. He did repeat a grade--10th Not a fun year. He graduated at 19, with all the other boys who were held back in kindergarten.

 

[GBsMom]

I would not worry- some kids take a little longer the first time. My DS took
1 grade again and know he is a 7 grade and doing just fine. He does not remembering repeating first grade or care about the age difference. When I see him in class- he looks like a normal kid in class, same height, weight and mouth. So don't worry, when we first explained this to him it was difficult- but we encouraged him how well he would do the 2nd time around and could help the other kids who are struggling and that is what happened and he still help people out.

 

[liamandcaili]

To the OP, it sounds like you are doing what is right for your DD. In my area, it is not unusual for children to repeat Kindergarten or if they are born in the late spring to summer months, to stay out another year, so they enter when they are six. Just as an example of the work DS does in first grade: he has a spelling test every week that lately has included words like favorite, school, won't, can't; he understands multiplication; they are studying polygons; he is expected to read every day for 20 minutes and he can read silently; he knows all his states and most of the capitals; he knows how many times ladybugs flap their wings in a minute. First grade is much more intense than it was when I was little. Any advantage you can give your child is good.