Good idea or gruesome?

[jetprincess]

LOL!!! It's a deal then! I promise not to wear your husband if you don't wear mine!!

I get you on the spiritual thing - but I know that personally I would be heartbroken. But that's just me.

 

[JessicaR]

My mother had pendants made for my sisters and I when my grandmother died. I love it.

 

[minkydog]

DH and I always say that we want to be cremated. Several years ago I heard about life gems and I actually like the idea. DH says it's too expensive but hey he wont be around so... I mean what are you going to do with the ashes anyway. Currently I have my father's ashes in the spare bedroom closet. Little do most of my guests know they are "sleeping" with dad.

Now that is funny! I wonder if they would be wigged out if they knew?

OP, I don't think it's creepy at all to be talking about what you want done when you die. In fact, I wish more people did that. I have two words for you--Terri Schiavo. If people would have this difficult conversation families would not be faced with the terrible decisions of "what would he want". Everyone should have an Advanced Directive and they should share it with their family members. It makes things abundantly clear at the end. And let's face--sometimes adults *do* die young. No getting around that. To me, its a travesty when they *don't* have an AD.

Now as far as the diamonds, that's your choice. If my DH were to die I would not waste the money on that. My kids would much rather have the money go into a trust than wear a fake diamond.

 

[minkydog]

According to him, we will have enough $ from life insurance to pay for it, so I'm not worried about that. The one company I did get info from, their prices start at 30K, so I'm going to look around some more.

Holy cow! Thats $90,000 for the three of you! NO WAY would I spend that money on jewelry. I'd split dear old dad into 3 boxes and keep him on the shelf.

DH & I have had this conversation many times, as his is disabled with severe lung disease and will in all likelihood die before me. We both want to be cremated. I told him that I'm gonna buy a motorhome with the insurance and strap him into the front seat so he can go sight-seeing with me. He's going to take me and dump me under the bushes at our favorite mountain campground so the kids can come visit me in the woods.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Personally, I find it creepy.

I believe we are not our bodies, it's just temporary transportation. I really don't even visit grave sites. I just don't feel a connection to the people there. I would also not keep someones ashes around in an urn either. I would perhaps spread them in a place the person loved. But that is just me.

I think if the worse happened and you wore a necklace made from with your dead husband it would be a turn off to potential new partners down the road. Seems like it would keep you stuck in your first relationship and make it harder to move on. JMO.

Hopefully this will not be something you have to think about for decades!

I wish great things for your family. I hope your hubby can work through this period and he can emerge a happier guy with a bright and long future.

 

[EllenFrasier]

You have to do what you think is right for you and your kids. For me, however, I find it repulsive to think about wearing a deceased loved ones ashes in any form as jewelry.

Just think of the awkwardness. A friend says "oh that's a lovely necklace" - what are you going to say "it's my husband"? Or the kids can say "it's my dad"?

Why not buy some real diamonds or other gemstones, you know from a jewelry store, and have them set as rings or whatever in remembrance of your husband?

 

[DVCLiz]

Whatever you decide doesn't affect me in the least, so I don't really have an opinion on what you could or should do.

Personally, though, I'd sprinkle dear old Dad (or hubby) in a pretty scatter garden somewhere, then drive to a jewelry store and buy a REAL diamond - or a set of them. If my budget is 30K I'm going to end up with some nice ice I can insure and replace.

That's just me, though.

 

[JessicaR]

Depending on the size, you can have them made for as little as $3000.
LifeGem has lots of info.

You could also look into locket type jewelry that contain ashes and are then sealed. I have a white gold and diamond locket like this.

 

[FireDancer]

I find it creepy and wouldn't wear the remains of a family member. To each their own though. If it is something you want to do go for it.

 

[ZachnElli]

I don't think it's creepy or gruesome. In fact, I told my dh not too long ago he could do that with my remains if I go first. He and I were just talking about what we wanted when we do go and neither he nor I want to be cremated, but then I said unless you have me cremated to be made into a diamond, I'm ok with that! He doesn't like the idea, but he's convinced he'll go first anyway.

 

[4nana]

Very interesting topic!

Personally I feel each individual should do what they're happy and comfortable with and make their wishes known . It's a very personal decision between couples/families and not anyone elses concern.

Truthfully, cremation goes against DH & my last wishes, but certainly think we're all entitled to whatever burial privilege desired. I believe once my physical being ceases, my spirit will flee to a higher realm for eternity, therefore my body will be an empty shell . Think Carrie Underwood's new song "Temporary Home."

With that being said, I really don't spent a lot of time thinking about death , rather, prefer to enjoy living each day to the fullest with my loved ones.

Best wishes to you and your hubbie, I wish only good things for your family.

 

[suzannen]

I am very sentimental about my jewelry, so this is not something I would choose to do. I prefer that any diamond ring that I wear is something that DH and I actually picked out together and that he personally placed on my finger. Rings that are then worn while we experience all of the wonderful (and challenging) times of our life together. Then, if he goes first, everytime I look at them, they are truly filled with his touch, warm memories and his love for me.

Also, how could you ever really be certain that what they send you were actually made from the specific ashes you sent?

As far as better than being in an urn on the mantel, I know my parents are planning on having their urns placed in a marked niche in beautiful memorial garden in their church. I do sort of like that idea.

But, ultimately, it's up to you and your DH.

 

[Evil Genius]

If you and your daughters would be comfortable wearing the pieces than do it. It is an expensive process though.

As far as knowing for sure if you are getting back the ashes you sent, well the same question can hold true for when you receive ashes from the crematorium.

Dh's ashes sit on the nightstand on what was his side of the bed. It's a comfort at the end of the day to see his urn

 

[Ember]

You know what I think it creepy? Traditional burial. Filling someone full of chemicals, painting them, putting them in an expensive box, putting that box into another lead lined box, and then putting them into the ground. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it (from an emotional/moral point of view, ecologically is a different story) but the whole concept gives me the heeby jeebies. I'd much rather be cremated. After that, I'm becoming part of a coral reef like my mum.

But if having a tactile reminder of your loved one, such as a life stone, brings peace and comfort, then it's not creepy in the least. People place so much judgment on death and how others handle it. But there's no right or wrong. Burial isn't my choice, but I'd much rather people do what will ease their pain during a terrible time in their lives than go by what someone else finds "creepy."

 

[allison443]

I had never heard of this ashes into diamonds...very interesting.

OP I know you said your husband was the one that wanted to have rings made for the girls. If I was doing this, I wouldn't get diamond rings for my dds because if they get engaged/married they most likely will have diamond engagement rings....my dds are not the type to wear more than one diamond ring at a time....but I guess some people might, so just something to consider.

 

[jazzielady]

I had never heard of this ashes into diamonds...very interesting.

OP I know you said your husband was the one that wanted to have rings made for the girls. If I was doing this, I wouldn't get diamond rings for my dds because if they get engaged/married they most likely will have diamond engagement rings....my dds are not the type to wear more than one diamond ring at a time....but I guess some people might, so just something to consider.

Interesting food for thought....when/if the time comes I will ask the girls their preference - rings or necklaces, or whatever else is available.

 

[Buckalew11]

My main concerns would be "Is that diamond really my DH?" I know it can happen with remains anyway but I'm not *wearing* them.
2) losing it.
3) so, if a man loses his wife and has a diamond made and then gets engaged to another woman, how can be sure he isn't giving you his first wife? Yikes! lol

 

[Stitchfans]

Did not read all of the replies so I repeat someone sorry.

When my cousin passed away after her fight with cancer we were talking about taking some of her ashes and putting a little bit in pendants or paperweights or something like that. Not sure why that never happened.

IMO I would not mind or would like to have my DD's have something like that from my ashes. Was not aware that ashes could be made in to diamonds. Learned something new.

 

[MIGrandma]

I have read about it, and it's quite expensive.

If my husband dies before me, I do want to have him cremated (he doesn't care if he is buried or cremated) but will just keep his ashes in an urn here in the house.

I feel that if I had his ashes made into a diamond I would never want to wear it, for fear of losing it...and him...if that makes any sense.

I have nothing against anyone else doing it, I just wouldn't do it myself.

 

[minkydog]

You know what I think it creepy? Traditional burial. Filling someone full of chemicals, painting them, putting them in an expensive box, putting that box into another lead lined box, and then putting them into the ground. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it (from an emotional/moral point of view, ecologically is a different story) but the whole concept gives me the heeby jeebies. I'd much rather be cremated. After that, I'm becoming part of a coral reef like my mum.

I totally agree.