Good, Bad and Ugly of Private School

[connorlevismom]

I am in the middle of a serach for a school for my son. We had thought for sure we were going to go private and now we are not so sure.

For parents who have, or have had their kids in private school, please give me the good, bad and ugly of them. We have toured the schools but I want a parents point of view.

Kristine

 

[shelly3girls]

We have had our children in both public and private school. There are pros and cons to both. Below are my personal experiences with private. We ended up taking the girls out more for social reasons but also b/c there was only one Kindergarten teacher who was very good but not a good personality fit for our middle DD. We fully intend to send DS to private school at least through Kindergarten possibly higher. I do not think public Kindergarten in our area is very good. Our district is still half day and I found my DD learned very little.

Pro
Religious base
smaller classes
curriculum more flexible
not focused on standardized tests
advanced curriculum
no attendance requirement so no problems taking WDW trips

Cons
limited resources (including specialized help)
not all teachers certified
not forced to meet state standards although not usually a problem in advanced schools
fewer teacher options if you do not like a particular teacher
classes so small, less options for friends
kids did not live in our neighbor, had to travel for playdates
my kids felt left out of neighborhood friends
our school was not strict enough with behavior problems
not a good fit for a child struggling in any area

 

[CRdisMom]

We were in the same spot a year ago. My daughter is in private school now and loves it. Our school only has 600 or so kids (K-8) so you will get to know the parents fairly well. The other thing we love is that kids there because their parents want them there not because they have to be there. Her teacher is just out of college and so she has a lot of enthusiasm. At times this can be bad too because there is a classroom control issue. Her class size is 21. The price for us is not much more than what our district would charge us for all day everyday kindergarten. Plus we have been spending money on daycare since she was born so it wasn't that big of shock to the budget. Now when her little sister goes it will be a change but that isn't for another 5 years.

As far as downsides--it is a catholic school and my husband is catholic and I am not. So all school mass is a bit awkward but I still go. The gossip can be tough but just keep out of it.

Good luck!
Laura

ps saw you were in MN- what school are you looking at? We're in Coon Rapids

 

[Disneylush]

OP We are in MN too. I went to a catholic grade school and high school in st. Paul. I work at a catholic school / parish in Edina but my son is at a public school in St. Paul. Here are my reaons why:
Private schools are so small they only have one track of each class if your child needs extra help or is gifted you are stuck. They don't have special teachers for special circumstances. Plus knowing the insides of our Archdioceses really turned me off very quickly.

I think you have to go to the school with your child when school is in session and see where your child feels comfortable.

 

[wilderness01]

I send to private school and love it.

There are pros and cons but the pros mostly outweigh the cons.

I try not to get involved in the busy-body baloney and do my own thing. I do like the family atmosphere and have developed some close relationships with some families.

There are very few discipline problems and when there are, they are handled swiftly. There is more time to teach since there is less time on discipline. I like that.

There are 2 classes per grade for my kids so there are more kids to choose from. My kid's daily courses are harder in content than in our public school so for us it was an easy choice. My kids have scored very high on all their tests and my oldest just scored higher on his ACT then the average at the local public high school. As a matter of fact, he is scoring at where the honors kids are scoring and he is only 14. Seems our school is doing something right!

In our school all the teachers are certified and all are encouraged now to go for their Masters or lose their cost of living raise per year. So that is a great incentive to go.

Good luck with your decision. You can always change if you decide on one avenue and then it doesn't work out for you.

 

[shelly3girls]

I think the replies could be a little more customized if we knew what your public school is like. I listed small class size as a plus. I consider 21 kids big (our public school classes have this many with a teacher and full time aide). When I said small I was talking 10-12.

Our public school has about 250 kids in K-5

 

[ENSOCK]

Mine are in Private School also. We did the Catholic school but had alot of problems. After much soul-searching and speaking with our priest, we switched to a Private school that is in the same town. The public schools are not an option since the one we would have to go to has so many problems. Gangs, drugs, sex in the bathrooms, etc. Believe it or not we are in the country!

We love our school. The classes are small and most of the teachers are great. There is 2 classes for each grade with less than 30 kids in each. This year we have a teacher we are not happy with but DS is learning so I can't really complain. We are also lucky that it is only $7000.00 for 2 kids (one in high school) since I know that others pay much more. My DSIL pays that for 1 child in HS.

Good Luck!

 

[WDWorBUST]

My dd is at a private Christian preschool that offers regular school through
6th grade. I have chosen to send her to public school this fall (pre-K) for mainly one reason. In the town we live in there isn't another private school that starts at 7th grade that is the "next step" so to speak. So when she finishes 6th grade she would either have to commute to school with me 30 miles and then have transportation issues since me and DH both work 8-5 to attend another private school or go to public school - either way we're left with a little girl in 7th grade having to make all new friends. I can't think of anything much worse for a 7th grade girl.

 

[mrs.beast]

Public school teacher with kids in private school here.
Our public school is absolutely excellent, and I'm not saying it because I work there. It is the best in the state academically, and has a strong network of support and parent involvement. In my area, the private schools have programs for gifted, resource children, a strong sports program (which the public schools do not have until jr. high), music, art, drama, and so on. So in way of services, the programs in the public and private schools are similar. However, people go to the public school because it is where they live. My children go to an excellent Catholic school (just as strong academically) where we have a community of people who want to be there, and are not just there because of where a line is drawn to make a school.
I think the community feeling is one of the best parts of private school. It is a group of people with similar goals/morals together. Where I work we have had tragedy for staff and parents (death and severe illness) as well as at my children's school. At our public school everyone was sad and sent well wishes, but that was it. At my children's school each time there has been an illness/death carpools were set up, food delivered, practically everything you could think of was done. It was like family helping out in a time of need. To me, this outreach is what makes a private school special. My kids have noticed it and it helps them become better people. We do not have that at the public school.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I think the replies could be a little more customized if we knew what your public school is like. I listed small class size as a plus. I consider 21 kids big (our public school classes have this many with a teacher and full time aide). When I said small I was talking 10-12.

Our public school has about 250 kids in K-5

Excellent point! I just want to warn the OP that public vs. private is very different in many parts of the country so what one person says may not apply to you. For example, my DS9 is in a public 3rd grade with 19 kids in his class while a nearby private school (Catholic) has 30 kids in a class at that grade level! Our public school has free, all day kindergarten, the parochial schools are half day programs. Just a couple small examples, but there are discrepancies all throughout the country and even within each state. I'm sure you are aware of this fact already, just figured I'd mention it.

 

[Mkrop]

Oh Kristine, I thought your school search was going well.

Well based on your other thread, you know I choose a Catholic school for my kids. I love the family atmosphere, where I can walk down the hall and even the older and younger siblings know I am DS10's mom.

I too like that discipline issues are handled promptly and that there is discipline. When I was in school, no one cared if the public high shcools kids showed up for class.

I think the academics are stronger as well. I am an advocate of homework and many times I will talk to the other moms on the sidelines of sports games and their son in the same grade never has homework.

I love uniforms bc no one gets teased for not affording the designer clothes.

Our school does provide guidance, speech, reading and math help through the county Intermediate Unit, And many of the teachers also tutor. Our teachers are all certified and many have or are working towards their Masters.

What are your concerns? Maybe we can answer them for you

GL with your decisions.

 

[CRdisMom]

I think the replies could be a little more customized if we knew what your public school is like. I listed small class size as a plus. I consider 21 kids big (our public school classes have this many with a teacher and full time aide). When I said small I was talking 10-12.

Our public school has about 250 kids in K-5

Our public kindergarten ranges anywhere from 25-30. I agree if we knew what your public options were we might be able to provide more insight.

 

[badblackpug]

Excellent point! I just want to warn the OP that public vs. private is very different in many parts of the country so what one person says may not apply to you. For example, my DS9 is in a public 3rd grade with 19 kids in his class while a nearby private school (Catholic) has 30 kids in a class at that grade level! Our public school has free, all day kindergarten, the parochial schools are half day programs. Just a couple small examples, but there are discrepancies all throughout the country and even within each state. I'm sure you are aware of this fact already, just figured I'd mention it.

Yes thank you for this. It may just be my take, but it seems that there is a whole lot of public school bashing on the "families" board. My kids attend our local public schools. Class sizes are small 12-15 kids per class. The school system offers full day kinder and lots of enrichment programs, for both gifted children and children who need extra help. They also offer FLES Spanish and music lessons, along with a variety of extra curricular activities. They also offer after school programs, at a minimal fee, for K-6.

 

[wilderness01]

Excellent point! I just want to warn the OP that public vs. private is very different in many parts of the country so what one person says may not apply to you. For example, my DS9 is in a public 3rd grade with 19 kids in his class while a nearby private school (Catholic) has 30 kids in a class at that grade level! Our public school has free, all day kindergarten, the parochial schools are half day programs. Just a couple small examples, but there are discrepancies all throughout the country and even within each state. I'm sure you are aware of this fact already, just figured I'd mention it.

Exact opposite where I live. The Catholic schools are full day and the public school half day. The Catholic school has anywhere from 56 to 68 kids per grade and the public school has 300+ kids per grade. I know one lady that said her daughter was never in a class where she had the same kid in her class twice in a row in the 6 years she had been in school. That sure if one way to become friendly and have tons of friends though. No cliques there in class which is a good thing!

It all depends what you want. We also have 2 science labs, 2 computer labs, a sports program starting in 4th grade, a drama program, a music program, a chess club, etc. etc. We are fortunate for having all these things in our small catholic school. It works for us and I am a huge proponent of "whatever works best for your family." Good luck in your search. Go with your gut and don't drive yourself crazy.

 

[Mkrop]

Yes thank you for this. It may just be my take, but it seems that there is a whole lot of public school bashing on the "families" board. My kids attend our local public schools. Class sizes are small 12-15 kids per class. The school system offers full day kinder and lots of enrichment programs, for both gifted children and children who need extra help. They also offer FLES Spanish and music lessons, along with a variety of extra curricular activities. They also offer after school programs, at a minimal fee, for K-6.

Wow out here in the western suburbs of PA the only schools that have full day are the Catholic schools.

 

[triton45]

On top of the other pros mentioned, a big one for me was uniforms. There is no need to keep up with the other children, plus clothing expenses are way down. A child can survive on 6-7 outfits for a whole semester (or longer if they don't grow)

Andy

 

[disneyjunkie]

My son has attended both private and public schools that require uniforms. (Currently attending a Catholic high school)

Don't let the uniforms fool you. Kids still feel the need to keep up with other students. The focus isn't on the clothes, it's on the shoes, sneakers, boots, coats, Ipods, cell phones ...

 

[SmallWorld71]

Go with your gut and don't drive yourself crazy.

Absolutely!
And, look at it this way. If you go with a school, be it public, private whatever...you don't have to stick with it forever. If you are unhappy with you decision, you can change. I teach 1st grade and the transition for new students is very minimal at that young age and after a few days of being new, it's like they've always been there.

 

[connorlevismom]

Thank you guys for all your help.

Here is my situation. We currently live in a horrible school district and there is NO WAY I would send my kid to public school here. There is a problem though, we don't have any private schools in my area that I like either. So, we looked at over 60 private schools on paper and actually toured and spoke with the principals of 10 schools. We ended up finding one that we really liked. It has everything we want in it. 3 grades per class, 3/4 of the teachers have masters degrees, lots of sports and extra programs, all day K, spanish starting in K and specialists for kids that need help or kids that are advanced to name a few things. The thing that just floored me is that in ALL the schools we toured, not one school had locks on the lockers! These are k-8 schools and I think that is pretty cool to have that much trust in a school.

The problem, we will be moving to the area where this school is AND it is one of the best public school distrcits in the state. So I am struggling with should I send him there? Our schools have all day K but you have to pay for it. For my district I am currently in and we have to pay $1700 a year for it.

I have to be honest and say that the main reason I am considering public school is the cost. It would really be nice not to shell out $6100 a year for school. BUT I keep listening to my gut and I keep going back to four things.

#1. I like the disipline factor in private schools. I don't know that I will ever get that level of it at public school.

#2. The locker thing. I know it may seem silly but to me, in this day and age, for kids to be able to leave their things in a locker and not worry about things is amazing to me.

#3. The kids are required to do service projects thoughout the year. I like that they teach them about helping others and how important that is.

#4. They have this buddy program. They pair up older kids with younger kids and they read to the little ones, attend mass with them and those types of things. I think that it teaches the older kids responsiblity and the younger ones have someone to look up to. This one is pretty big for me as DS will probably be our only and I think it would be nice for him to have a "big brother" type at school.

So those are my four things that I don't know I will find in a public school. And again, that disctrict is great and I have never heard anything bad about it. I just don't know if giving those things up is worth saving the money. Know what I mean?

Kristine

 

[princessesrule4]

Thank you guys for all your help.

Here is my situation. We currently live in a horrible school district and there is NO WAY I would send my kid to public school here. There is a problem though, we don't have any private schools in my area that I like either. So, we looked at over 60 private schools on paper and actually toured and spoke with the principals of 10 schools. We ended up finding one that we really liked. It has everything we want in it. 3 grades per class, 3/4 of the teachers have masters degrees, lots of sports and extra programs, all day K, spanish starting in K and specialists for kids that need help or kids that are advanced to name a few things. The thing that just floored me is that in ALL the schools we toured, not one school had locks on the lockers! These are k-8 schools and I think that is pretty cool to have that much trust in a school.

The problem, we will be moving to the area where this school is AND it is one of the best public school distrcits in the state. So I am struggling with should I send him there? Our schools have all day K but you have to pay for it. For my district I am currently in and we have to pay $1700 a year for it.

I have to be honest and say that the main reason I am considering public school is the cost. It would really be nice not to shell out $6100 a year for school. BUT I keep listening to my gut and I keep going back to four things.

#1. I like the disipline factor in private schools. I don't know that I will ever get that level of it at public school.

#2. The locker thing. I know it may seem silly but to me, in this day and age, for kids to be able to leave their things in a locker and not worry about things is amazing to me.

#3. The kids are required to do service projects thoughout the year. I like that they teach them about helping others and how important that is.

#4. They have this buddy program. They pair up older kids with younger kids and they read to the little ones, attend mass with them and those types of things. I think that it teaches the older kids responsiblity and the younger ones have someone to look up to. This one is pretty big for me as DS will probably be our only and I think it would be nice for him to have a "big brother" type at school.

So those are my four things that I don't know I will find in a public school. And again, that disctrict is great and I have never heard anything bad about it. I just don't know if giving those things up is worth saving the money. Know what I mean?

Kristine

The reasons you listed are also some of the main reasons I send my kids to private school! ( not the lockers - no one touches anyone else's stuff but they've been taught that since pre-K ! I can understand why you are surprised,though, in this day and age!)

We've been there for 8 years and although we've had a minor bump or two, at the end of the day ,raising kind, responsible, compassionate children through service projects, religious education and the feeling that every child matters and is a part of a "community", is worth the tuition!