Good article about being childfree/less...

[luvwinnie]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dy...24/AR2006112400986.html?referrer=emailarticle

 

[Hercules10]

Uh-oh...let the breeders vs. non-breeders begin.

 

[luvwinnie]

Just wanted to post it for those who will find it of interest. It doesn't put down parents at all.

 

[Christine]

luvwinnie,

I read this yesterday (and yes I have children) and I thought it was pretty good also. There were a few times that I felt the author had a bit a bitterness toward parents, but I guess I can understand that because people *can* be so rude about the issue.

 

[lulu71]

That was an interesting read. I am much more inclined to "hear" what child-free women are saying when they are rational and not judgemental, like the first woman she interviewed. The second one, the history teacher, sounded bitter. Her views seem to have come from judging one type of mother, the rich "child-as-accessory" type. Truth is, some people just don't always have the best intentions in what they do, and you can't paint everyone with the same brush. And her comment about the stroller entitlement, puhlease, would she say the same thing about people in wheelchairs? Methinks she doth protest too much. People who are really okay with being childfree aren't hostile.

 

[BamaTigger]

That is a great article. I get asked all the time if I have kids. I reply by saying yes...4! My two dogs and two cats!

I suffered a miscarriage in 2002 after trying for 6 yrs to get pregnant. Did infertility drugs, and finally got pregnant. Lost it...found out at the ultrasound to find out what the sex of my baby was. But my baby was dead. I was devastated. So was my DH. Thats all I have to say about it, cause it is still too hard to talk about.

So, found out I have endometreosis and Im infertile...i have to have laproscopy every 2 years to burn it off my female organs. My sister had it as well, and had to have a hysterectomy. She is also childless due to the disease.

Everyone asks me.."why dont you adopt". Well, I tell them If it was meant for me to be a mother, then I would get pregnant and have one of my very own. Plain and simple.

After years and years of contemplating what to do, me and DH decided that it just wasnt in the cards for us to be parents. If I would of had they baby, I wonder how my life would of turned out due to the events that followed later. I run a family business that my parents couldnt run anymore due to health reasons and he works full time as well. My step mother suffered a brain aneuryism and she is like a child in most ways and has to have 24 hour care. My dad is diabetic/heart disease/COPD and I help take care of him as well. My life is full, and we travel when we can and take my parents too. That's life. Thats OUR life.


Whoever looks down on me because I dont have kids needs to walk a mile in my shoes to see why. Kids are great, and I love my nephews, and my great-nephew and they can get all my love.

Thats my story.

 

[luvwinnie]

That was an interesting read. I am much more inclined to "hear" what child-free women are saying when they are rational and not judgemental, like the first woman she interviewed. The second one, the history teacher, sounded bitter. Her views seem to have come from judging one type of mother, the rich "child-as-accessory" type. Truth is, some people just don't always have the best intentions in what they do, and you can't paint everyone with the same brush. And her comment about the stroller entitlement, puhlease, would she say the same thing about people in wheelchairs? Methinks she doth protest too much. People who are really okay with being childfree aren't hostile.

Same goes for me when listening to mothers. People who act as if being childfree is some sort of crime just raise my hackles. It's a CHOICE either way...some people don't see it that way.

 

[NMAmy]

I was a bit puzzled by the woman who felt compelled to explain all to the owner of the pizza place who was probably just making conversation. I am a mom but dd is a teenager. I love kids' movies so I will take a bunch of my friends' children with me--the last time, a lady asked if they were all mine. All I replied was, "Nope, they're not! I'm just a glutton for punishment." Why would I feel necessary to explain the situation to a stranger?

 

[JunieJay]

I have met a few childfree people who have acted superior because they don't have children. The woman in the article sounds like one of them. I've also met a few parents who think they're special because they have children. They are the extreme though, I think most people are actually pretty much wrapped up in their own world and really not into putting pressure on someone else over a decision as important as whether or not to have children.

As for people who come right out and ask women those sort of questions (i.e., when are you going to have children/why don't you have children?), I just wonder if they are living under a rock where they are excluded from the rules of etiquette? I mean, I was about 10 years old when I learned that was an inappropriate question to ask someone, along with what their salary is or who they are having sex with or what their political affilation is. Its just one of those things I assume someone will tell me if they want me to know and not something I should go rooting around for an answer about. Geesh.

 

[kennancat]

The second one, the history teacher, sounded bitter. Her views seem to have come from judging one type of mother, the rich "child-as-accessory" type.

I think I can understand where that woman's coming from. I went to a private school for ten years, and many of the children there were treated that way. I can still remember my mom's shock at one of our end of the year graduation ceremonies. Two women she sat near spent the whole time talking about what summer camps they'd chosen for their kids so the kids "wouldn't interfere with their tennis schedules." Seriously. People make both good and bad decision for having/not having children.

 

[luvwinnie]

I think I can understand where that woman's coming from. I went to a private school for ten years, and many of the children there were treated that way. I can still remember my mom's shock at one of our end of the year graduation ceremonies. Two women she sat near spent the whole time talking about what summer camps they'd chosen for their kids so the kids "wouldn't interfere with their tennis schedules." Seriously. People make both good and bad decision for having/not having children.

You are so right.
I think though what it comes down to is what you WANT. I can go on forever for all the logical reasons I have for not having kids, but what it really boils down to is that I have never felt that "urge" that so many women speak about.