Suemayou, you were told somewhat wrong. Note, there is usually an exchange fee regardless of where you are transfering from or to so the fee possibly had nothing to do with getting perks; if in fact, it was a fee to get the perks, then someone fibbed. Be aware:
1. The early park advantage applies to everyone staying on site at WDW, so that was not really giving you anything.
2. Those other perks -- DVC restaurant discounts and the golf membership apply to DVC members only and not people who are exchanging into the resort. You may get lucky though because when people stay on points even when not a DVC member, they usually issue a room key that says DVC member on it. However, that is the way it always works for rentals because the DVC member makes the reservation. For exchanges, I am not sure that will occur.
If you get the DVC member room key you can use that for the restaurant discounts. That might also work for the DVC golf card but may not -- the rules clearly state only DVC members may get the card and since it is good for a year, they might ask for your actual DVC membership card for that one.
Note, you should not get too excited about the DVC restaurant discounts (usually about 10%). Those have limited application and really do not apply to the in park restaurants, nor to many of the resort restaurants -- they are mainly applicable to Downtown Disney restaurants and just some of the resort restaurants.
The DVC golf discount may or may not be good for you depending on a number of things. You have to pay $50 plus tax for the card and thus for any real discount you have to play enough with a discount to first make up for that $50 fee. It also applies only to rounds after 10, In the summer (May through September), it isn't much of a disocunt at all. The regular rates for the courses that time of year are between $95 and $115, depending on course, until 10. After 10, all the regular rates drop substantially, to $45 for three of the courses, and $50 and $60 for two others. The DVC discount cost is $35 so you are only saving $10 a round for three of the courses and somewhat more for the others.So you can see, if you pay $50 for the DVC card, you need several rounds at $35 a piece to end up with any true discount when the regular rate is only $45.
The DVC discont works out a lot larger during other timers of year. For example, during prime time (mid-Jan through April) the DVC rate is $89 per round but the regular rate all day at that time runs from $135 to $165 and thus your discount is $45 to $75 a round.