Given enough rope she will hang herself.

[bjgrazi]

Last week I posted how my ex-stepdaughter was making my son's life a living hell at school. Well I got that straightened out. Things seem to be fine there now.

Friday night I found out at the HS football game, that she was telling kids that her Dad brought her brother a gun to kill the animals that wandered though their yard. One of the kids went home and told their parents. Well this must have went through the telephone chain in the neighborhood and supposedly they called local police on them. I don't know the out come and I don't really care at this point. I'm just hoping that this gets them the help they need. I hope she learns to keep her mouth shut and to watch what comes out of it. She's had so much trouble this year with opening her mouth and saying things to people.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

How do you have an ex-stepdaughter? If DH and I ever broke up, I would always include my DH's (step, I try avoiding that word, I hate it) kids in my life.

 

[IceQueen777]

Try not to get too excited at her troubles.

 

[eeyore kelly]

I understand that this child has caused you problems, but remember, she is a CHILD. You coming across as this excited over her troubles, disturbs me.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Ooops nevermind I thought the comment was at me.

But I wanted to add...these were kids that you had welcomed into your life when you married their father. Look at how you are talking about them now.

 

[DawnCt1]

I agree with the other posters. Children are the first casualty of divorce. She is a kid was some big problems. There is no joy in that.

 

[sweet angel]

If the OP's ex-step-daughter is causing problems with HER biological child, she's got every reason to be concerned. She's protecting her own. She may have had problems with the step from the beginning.

I think the above posters are being a bit harsh and judgmental. Not everyone gets along with their stepkids, and no matter what anyone says, the tie to your own kids is stronger.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

It's always easy to criticize. None of us have walked in bjgrazi's shoes.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

The OP is an ADULT. The Stepdaughter, excuse me, ex-stepdaughter is a CHILD. If anything she should feel pity for the girl and not be excited that the family is in trouble.

I understand protecting your own, but when I took my marriage vows, DHs kids also became my own. It hasn't been easy. We have had (have) many issues. But I love them, and will always love them.

If the 13-year old was able to run off the OP and if she caused so many problems, the adults are to blame, not the child.

 

[sweet angel]

Where does it say the girl is 13? Did I miss that?

I don't see the OP getting "excited", and perhaps it's not the OP who's to blame for the family's troubles, but her ex-spouse.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[eeyore kelly]

Originally posted by Miss Jasmine
The OP is an ADULT. The Stepdaughter, excuse me, ex-stepdaughter is a CHILD. If anything she should feel pity for the girl and not be excited that the family is in trouble.

If the 13-year old was able to run off the OP and if she caused so many problems, the adults are to blame, not the child.

Couldn't said it better myself

 

[bjgrazi]

I'm not excited over her problems, do you see me jumping for joy? If noticed I said I hope they get the help needed. Possibly I just needed a place to vent my frustrations. I can't say anything negitive to my children and I don't want them to look any worse to the people that already know them. But I do need a place to get this out.

How can I call her my ex-stepdaughter? When I have her mother screaming at me for all the horrible things I did to her and I'm standing saying what are you talking about? I was only married to her Dad less then 2 months at that point. I never treated his children poorly at all, just the opposite. I wish I could say that my children were treated as well. BTW, 3 days after we were married their Mother moved away so she didn't have to deal with them.

When she goes into school and announces to everyone around my son what a *****, sl--, sk-nk, and other names I could not use here. How I stole things from her house. It goes on and on. How my mother called the wrong number by accident after we moved out and she on the phone said things to a women over the age of 75 that I wouldn't say to my best friend as a joke about my worst enemy. She had my Mom in tears and got her very upset.

I tried to get their Father to help them, my hands were tied. His head is in the sand and their mother is too wrapped up in her own life to really care. The end result is you have 2 children whose lives are being destroyed. That breaks my heart, but again there is nothing I can do except move on and make sure my children suffer no harm from what happened.

 

[Hagred]

If her behavior at that football game enabled the school or some outside person to get involved to help her, then that's something I personally would be jumping for joy over.

Hang in there, bjgrazi. I know how you feel. Those who aren't going through what you and your children are going through don't have a clue.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I hope the kid gets the help she needs. It's sad to see a kid that young saying things like that. The thing about the gun and shooting animals is what really struck me.

If someone posted that here, we'd call them a troll. Why do "trolls" do what they do? Because , it boils down to wanting attention. They know that saying thing like this will get a lot of responses and it makes them feel good about themselves in some strange way. It's sad. And so is this. This girl obviously wants attention and has probably figured out that the only way she's going to get it is by saying terrible things.

I hope it does not get beyond just talking. But it seems like right now, aside from you, she has no adult in her life who cares. I can see how that would be frustrating.

Have you ever thought about trying to let just her back into your life? For her sake. Not for her fathers. I think she is desperately crying out for help and desperately needs a role model.

Sounds like such an awful situation to be caught in. I do truly hope it gets better, somehow.

 

[bjgrazi]

There is no way we could allow her back into our lives. There is a part of me that wishes I could, but the consequences are too great and her father won't allow it. I spoke with the school (after what happened with my son) and alerted them to some problems. Her father had a stroke over it. I was told by him I had no right. But I did, her behavior was affecting my son in school and the teacher seemed to be unaware of the gravity of the situation. I let him blow his top and when he was done, I apologized for upsetting him, but tried to let him know that my goal was to help her.

I found out from the school that there were a few complaints about her behavior to a few kids. Her bestfriends parents tried to talk to him. They no longer allow their daughter to have any contact with her. Neighbors on the block no longer include her in things. Yet I no longer live there and am still welcomed.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by bjgrazi
There is no way we could allow her back into our lives. There is a part of me that wishes I could, but the consequences are too great and her father won't allow it. I spoke with the school (after what happened with my son) and alerted them to some problems. Her father had a stroke over it. I was told by him I had no right. But I did, her behavior was affecting my son in school and the teacher seemed to be unaware of the gravity of the situation. I let him blow his top and when he was done, I apologized for upsetting him, but tried to let him know that my goal was to help her.

I found out from the school that there were a few complaints about her behavior to a few kids. Her bestfriends parents tried to talk to him. They no longer allow their daughter to have any contact with her. Neighbors on the block no longer include her in things. Yet I no longer live there and am still welcomed.

Sounds like your exH is very immature and definately in denial.

I'm so sorry you are stuck in the middle of this. I know you can't help her, and I can imagine how helpless a feeling it must be to see this happening and not be able to do anything about it.
I hope she gets help before it's too late.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
Have you ever thought about trying to let just her back into your life? For her sake. Not for her fathers. I think she is desperately crying out for help and desperately needs a role model.

Edited to add: I see your H (not an ex yet is he?) is not helping much. Like I said, the blame falls on the adults not the child. She is just a product of what has happened in her life. Poor thing.

 

[septbride2002]

Edited to add: I see your H (not an ex yet is he?) is not helping much. Like I said, the blame falls on the adults not the child. She is just a product of what has happened in her life. Poor thing.

So blame the father and mother who obviously ignore her. Don't blame the OP who is trying to help her by getting people outside involved in her life while trying to protect her own.

~Amanda

 

[sweet angel]

It's so easy to sit in judgement when you haven't been there.

Much like the people who don't have kids, yet know all the BEST ways to raise them.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by sweet angel
It's so easy to sit in judgement when you haven't been there.

Much like the people who don't have kids, yet know all the BEST ways to raise them.

Just because someone does not have kids of their own does not mean that they don't have a lot of experience with kids or spend time with kids on a very regular basis (teachers, counselors, doctors or family members like aunts and uncles who have their neices and nephews part of the time to help out etc).