Girls in the men's room.

[DizBelle]

To look at my son you see all of the above. But to know him and the autistic mind he is he is not capable of understanding stranger danger or anything above and beyond that. What you see can be very much different from what is really there. Never judge another situation by the cover of your own book based on your visual standards.

We always parent our kids to the restrooms at Disney or anywhere for that matter. Sometimes in the Family ones, sometimes they cant wait.

Never did I say that there were no circumstances where a child over school age would need to be accompanied by a parent into the restroom. There are lots of special circumstances and situations. I think this thread is focused on the typical circumstances where the child has no special conditions affecting their maturity.

 

[Emagine]

Of course. But clearly the majority of people in a standard bathroom line at DW are not facing those challenges

Compared to the crowd your prob right but the Special Needs Population is growing at Disney due to how they treat our kids. They are wonderful (I heart DW) We go often just because of it. *wink* So yea, there are some perfectly looking normal kids/peeps standing nearby why underneath are someone different.

 

[kim_d]

I am much more concerned about my 6yo DS using the men’s room alone than I am of my 4yo DD using the women’s room.

However, it could be that the “10yo” wasn’t truly as old as she looked, maybe she was developmentally delayed, maybe there were cultural differences, maybe the father is overprotective…who knows? There are a 1000 reasons why it could happen and I for one really could care less.

 

[pilferk]

Being a stay at home father of two toddlers, one boy and one girl, I have to say...some times it's unavoidable.
I certainly not going to leave my 2 year old daughter outside while I take my 4 year old son to the bathroom.
And sorry, but I'm not going to worry about what any of the men in the room think.
That being said, 10 would be too old I think.
But they might not have been that old. I know alot of people miss judge the age of my girl because of her size. She's really tiny. The opposite I'm sure is true there's probably alot of girls who look 10 that are alot younger.
And unless your a parent of a child that age you might not be the best judge in ages.
And you are at Disney, there's all kinds of families there wiht little girls, not all of them have mothers with them for whatever reason.

So I would say, if you worried things like this might happen, use a stall
and close the door.

I agree, 100%.

I have a soon to be 7 year old daughter, a soon to be 5 year old son, and a soon to be 3 year old daughter.

Sometimes, I've got the kids with me, and we're out shopping, and the kids gotta go. I'm OK with sending my 7 year old into the ladies room, alone...but I can't send my youngest daughter in. She's just not old enough to take care of business on her own (though she is potty trained).

We head into the "accessible" stall if it's open, or one of the other stalls if it's not. But she goes into the men's room, with me.

My wife does the same thing with our 5 year old son...soon, he'll get sent on his own, but not quite yet.

I agree...I think 10 is too old. But sometimes, it's just unavoidable. If every place provided a FAMILY rest room option, there'd be no problem. But they don't....

 

[Emagine]

Never did I say that there were no circumstances where a child over school age would need to be accompanied by a parent into the restroom. There are lots of special circumstances and situations. I think this thread is focused on the typical circumstances where the child has no special conditions affecting their maturity.

Never accused you of saying anything. The comment was if a child can do X they should be able to Y & Z.

I stand by my reply that you never know what really appears to be one thing is really another. Trust me it happens often! Looks can be very deceiving.

 

[MusiqChic99]

Child molesters don't look like monsters. They can - and are - respectable looking people, even nice looking older ladies can snatch your child! IMO it has nothing at all to do with how well they can wash their hands or follow directions - it is about their safety!! A child can be standing outisde the restroom, right where they were told to wait by their parent, and be taken in an instant. I would never, ever trust a stranger to watch my child -- I do the exact opposite and instruct them not to trust strangers at all - even if they look "nice".

I completely agree.

 

[BostonRob]

I can understand why some men might be uncomfortable if a father takes his 10 year old daughter into the men's room - people are so sensitive these days that some adult men are afraid to even talk to other people's children, let alone urinate in front of them.
On the other hand, I think it is ridiculous that any grown man would have a problem with an adult woman bringing her young son into the men's room - that woman knows how I'm equipped, she knows what I'm doing, and she's completely disinterested, so who cares?
I won't take my 6 year old daughter into a men's room. She's old enough that she can go on her own; I wait right outside the door and yell into her from time to time.
Oh and what does the poor dad do with his daughter when HE has to go to the bathroom? My solution has been not to go! I go before I leave home. If I'm going to be out for a while, i don't drink a lot. Seriously.

 

[eastcarolinafan]

Since we just never know what kind of sickos are out there lurking in the bushes waiting to abduct and molest children, I have decided to keep them with me at all times and attach them to me with bungee cords. That way they will grow up physically safe and psychologically unimpaired, right?

In seriousness, I think there is a difference in a child (even an older one) who needs assistance to have a parent with them and this out-of-control fear of child molesters that abounds in our society. Most pedophiles will offend in secret - on children they know. Not in a WDW restroom that is full of parents and decent human beings with witnesses.

I am going to bow out of this discussion now. I don't see any good coming of the direction this topic is taking. Be well, all. Good luck!

 

[pioneer89]

This argument seems to be getting a little heated and taken out of context. One thing I think we can all agree on is that the chances of a molester actaully TAKING A CHILD from a bathroom line at DW are remote at best. I mean, how many militant, molester-attacking parents would it take to deter an attempt to harm a kid wating in line for his or her parent?

I, for one, would respond instantly if I heard a child say something along the lines of "This is not my daddy." I would be (and I suspect thousands of others would be) on top of it. No questions asked.

"Your Daddy is badly hurt, and they took him to the doctor, you need to come with me to go see him."

I don't care how much we coach a 6yo about strangers, you can throw them an emotional curve, and their focus will change from "Don't talk to strangers" in an instant.

Molesters don't walk around with burlap sacks ready to throw them over some poor child's head. They are skilled emotional manipulators, and they can get a well coached child to walk away willingly in a matter of seconds.

Sure, as you say, the odds are slim. But it's a risk I can control with no effort, why not control it?

 

[NikitaZee]

"Your Daddy is badly hurt, and they took him to the doctor, you need to come with me to go see him."

I don't care how much we coach a 6yo about strangers, you can throw them an emotional curve, and their focus will change from "Don't talk to strangers" in an instant.

Molesters don't walk around with burlap sacks ready to throw them over some poor child's head. They are skilled emotional manipulators, and they can get a well coached child to walk away willingly in a matter of seconds.

Sure, as you say, the odds are slim. But it's a risk I can control with no effort, why not control it?

Well said!!

 

[pampam]

Restrooms are a "danger zone" according to all of my child safety training. It's the one place we let our young kids go alone. Look at what happened to Matthew Cecchi- he was 9 years old, and his aunt did everything right. I think that our children's safety comes before other people's sensibilities.

With that said, WDW is one of the safest places around and they have tons of family restrooms, so I don't see any reason to take older children into the regular ones. Just wait until the family restrooms are empty and let them go by themselves.

Believe it or not, there are no family restrooms in WDW. Only companion restrooms. I know I will get flamed for this, but these restrooms are not for families, but for people needing help with toileting. For example, a husband can take his wife in her wheelchair there, to assist her. Many make the mistake that they are for young families, and, yes, young families do use them, but they are not family restrooms.

 

[dmil]

Just saw a post about bathrooms at Disney and it brought to mind our last two trips there. There were girls in the men's room. I have seen this several times. They come in with an older male (their father I guess) and some are as old as I would say 10. Most are foreigners I think. I know ladies take small boys to the restroom with them, but the ladies room has closed stalls, unlike the mens room which have some closed stalls. It just makes me feel a little uncomfortable to see girls in the restroom while I'm standing there. Maybe I am just to old fashioned.
Has anyone else seen this?

I think that 10 would be to old. I know when our DD was 3 I had to take her into the mens bathroom sometimes. Unless it is a complete emergency I wouldn't do it now and she is 7.

 

[DizBelle]

"Your Daddy is badly hurt, and they took him to the doctor, you need to come with me to go see him."

I don't care how much we coach a 6yo about strangers, you can throw them an emotional curve, and their focus will change from "Don't talk to strangers" in an instant.

Molesters don't walk around with burlap sacks ready to throw them over some poor child's head. They are skilled emotional manipulators, and they can get a well coached child to walk away willingly in a matter of seconds.

Sure, as you say, the odds are slim. But it's a risk I can control with no effort, why not control it?

Because, eventually, unless you want your child living with you forever, they're going to HAVE to learn how to function without a parent. At what point do you let go? If 10 isn't old enough, what about 11? 12? 16? 25? Even 30 year olds can be abducted. Are you going to accompany them everywhere for the rest of your/their life?

Eventually, you have to let them grow up. And unless you teach them how to function as an adult, they will never learn how to.

 

[pilferk]

Since we just never know what kind of sickos are out there lurking in the bushes waiting to abduct and molest children, I have decided to keep them with me at all times and attach them to me with bungee cords. That way they will grow up physically safe and psychologically unimpaired, right?

In seriousness, I think there is a difference in a child (even an older one) who needs assistance to have a parent with them and this out-of-control fear of child molesters that abounds in our society. Most pedophiles will offend in secret - on children they know. Not in a WDW restroom that is full of parents and decent human beings with witnesses.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/orl-bk-typhoon-lagoon-exposure-incident-071409,0,4418731.story

http://www.mouseplanet.com/8915/Walt_Disney_World_Resort_Update

Look about 1/3 of the way down for this headline:

"More molestation at Typhoon Lagoon – should you worry?"

Being at WDW is absolutely no reason to check your common sense at the door (and no, I'm not saying that's what your suggesting) or to adopt a sense of (false) security in how "safe" it is.

It's a public place and, as I'm sure everyone knows, you need to keep that in mind and not let the "magic" obfuscate the fact there are potentially real dangers around. It's sad, but true....

 

[beattyfamily]

Bathrooms in Europe (and Disneyland Paris) are unisex, as we learned on our trip to Paris. No biggie.

I have no problem with moms and dads doing what they feel necessary to protect their children. I will not judge if/when I see a 10 year old boy in the ladies room...he may be autistic.

My DH had to take my girls in the men's room on occassion when he was out without me but that stopped after about age 6. Every child is different though.

 

[WillCAD]

Exactly.

My 6 year old would never walk away without permission. That would not stop someone from picking her up and carrying her away. She weighs all of 38 pounds.

"Your Daddy is badly hurt, and they took him to the doctor, you need to come with me to go see him."

I don't care how much we coach a 6yo about strangers, you can throw them an emotional curve, and their focus will change from "Don't talk to strangers" in an instant.

Molesters don't walk around with burlap sacks ready to throw them over some poor child's head. They are skilled emotional manipulators, and they can get a well coached child to walk away willingly in a matter of seconds.

Sure, as you say, the odds are slim. But it's a risk I can control with no effort, why not control it?

In the 54-years since Disneyland opened, there has never been a child abducted inside any of the DLR or WDW theme parks. I've never heard of a child or an adult being molested inside one of the parks, either.

I'm not saying that you should be careless, or that you should ever let your guard down. I'm not even saying that kids should not be taking into opposite-sex restrooms when there is nobody to watch them outside while the parent uses the restroom. But being so completely paranoid about something that has such a small likelihood of ever happening is counter-productive; it distracts your attention from other, more pressing dangers.

With all of this discussion, let me ask another loaded question - how many of you who are fine with kids being taken into opposite sex restrooms would be in favor of simply abolishing the two-gender restroom system and having unisex restrooms throughout WDW property?

 

[Beauty & the Best]

Just posting another take on this:

I asked my husband if this has ever happened when he's in the restroom. He said yes, and it wasn't a problem except...

Sometimes younger boys who are still getting the hang of potty training will be at the urinal and since their pants don't have traditional flies, they have to take thier pants completely down to go, obviously exposing their backside.

In this case, I can see how it wouldn't be the best to have a girl in the restroom - an adult female mother who's taking her boy to pee, no problem.

 

[SuperTink]

It's sad to think of all the kids growing up being so suspicious of strangers. No wonder so many people don't get along.

We taught our kids that most people are nice and friendly. Fact.

We also taught them that there are some people in the world who are not nice and friendly. Fact.

We let them know the rules for protecting themselves against the dangerous folks. These changed as they got older.

My DH would have brought my girls into the men's restroom up until about age 8. Older would wait outside. We do not consider a 5 minute wait outside a restroom at DW a big risk.

Anyway, try to have fun at DW folks. Be safe *and* happy.

 

[robinb]

Yippie! It's a new bathroom thread .

Since we just never know what kind of sickos are out there lurking in the bushes waiting to abduct and molest children, I have decided to keep them with me at all times and attach them to me with bungee cords. That way they will grow up physically safe and psychologically unimpaired, right?

In seriousness, I think there is a difference in a child (even an older one) who needs assistance to have a parent with them and this out-of-control fear of child molesters that abounds in our society. Most pedophiles will offend in secret - on children they know. Not in a WDW restroom that is full of parents and decent human beings with witnesses.

Stella, you are 100% correct. The fact is that a child is by far more likely to be molested by someone they know and trust and NOT a stranger. The problem is that you and I are trying to rationalize with the "Better Safe Than Sorry Parenting" crowd who is consumed with irrational fears of Boogiemen who lurk in every corner of WDW.

And for those of you who asked ... I have left my 9-year old DD alone outside of a WDW restroom while I used it. She didn't need to go and there was no reason for her to walk in and hang out by the sinks while I used the toilet.

 

[pilferk]

I'm not saying that you should be careless, or that you should ever let your guard down. I'm not even saying that kids should not be taking into opposite-sex restrooms when there is nobody to watch them outside while the parent uses the restroom. But being so completely paranoid about something that has such a small likelihood of ever happening is counter-productive; it distracts your attention from other, more pressing dangers.

Abductions? I don't think there have been any, that's true.

"Molestation"? Depends on what you mean. I posted a couple links a few posts back. Certainly, there has been some improper touching and alleged lewd acts at WDW (and these certainly aren't the first we've seen reported).

"Slim chance"? Maybe so. I'm not sure that's reason enough, in and of itself, not to be mindful that there IS a chance, and to do what you can to prevent it. Especially when it comes to something as valuable as my children.

With all of this discussion, let me ask another loaded question - how many of you who are fine with kids being taken into opposite sex restrooms would be in favor of simply abolishing the two-gender restroom system and having unisex restrooms throughout WDW property?

100% honest? I could care less. I've been in places where the bathrooms WERE unisex, and it's never bothered me. In THAT whole debate, my concern would be more if others were uncomfortable or not....