Girls and Boys!

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today i flirted a whole heck of a lot! it was fun. FUN FUN FUN!!

jarrad is so sweet and funny and nice and actually kinda shy around me. you could tell he was super prepared to see me today, when i saw him in the hallway i ran up to him yelled heyyy jayy babyyy!! and gave him a huge hug. he hugged me back and was all, heyy jesse boo.;) . then he magically pulls my sunglasses out of his pocket and gives them to me. he was carrying them around the whole day with him. he is shy around me though, he always is kinda quiet but today we were joking around the whole time. we are going to the track meet tomorrow together and its gonna be super super fun! :goodvibes i just can't help but like him. mmmmm! i love little hearts, <3 he puts them in everytrhing to me all of the time. toady i was really bored in french class and wrote him a three page note. the thing is i talk to him all of the time anyways, it was just extra-ness. idk. whatever else is going on at least i know that i like him!
 
So. Today was decent on the scale of crush-sightingness. Ryan and I had quite the talk about love on the bus today. And he used that as a segway into the whole "so, are you an John just friends or is there something more there?" conversation. Ryan is the guy that got me and Alex together, so if he thinks something's worth a shot it usually is.

Gave John a head/back massage today. He is so incredibly tense that it can't be healthy. At all. His muscles were so knotted (and there's a lot of them). I have, 100% reached the conclusion, though, that he has the softest hair any guy can have. It's so much fun to touch because it's so soft. And he purrs just like a cat when you give him head massages.

And we had track practice in the rain today. Outside. It is so hard to concentrate on practice when he's over there in a shirt that was already flattering before it got wet and now you can see every little outline of muscle on his body.

And his hair spikes really well. Found that out while I was playing with his hair in the rain.
 
I told the guy i liked's girlfriend's best friend that i liked him...

on accident
 

Im so upset, I just wish someone could hold me and say "Dont worry, it will be alright" even if they dont mean it.

My crushes, crush...she...he...when will it end?
When will I be the person who doesnt get hurt in the end?
When will it ever be ME that has a smile?
WHen will it ever me.
When will it ever NOT be me?

Im tired of being put down by everyone else, when if you have ever met me, you would probably like me.
Im tired of the way I look being a bother, Im tired of everything.


Maybe my teacher was right, maybe I do need to change myself.
Maybe I do need to wear makeup to shool. *insert BAWLING face here, smilies just cant describe this feeling I have right now*
 
Im so upset, I just wish someone could hold me and say "Dont worry, it will be alright" even if they dont mean it.

My crushes, crush...she...he...when will it end?
When will I be the person who doesnt get hurt in the end?
When will it ever be ME that has a smile?
WHen will it ever me.
When will it ever NOT be me?

Im tired of being put down by everyone else, when if you have ever met me, you would probably like me.
Im tired of the way I look being a bother, Im tired of everything.


Maybe my teacher was right, maybe I do need to change myself.
Maybe I do need to wear makeup to shool. *insert BAWLING face here, smilies just cant describe this feeling I have right now*

I'm sorry about how your feeling, I can relate though.
Don't listen to your teacher about wearing make up if you don't want to wear make up.
Honestly the best thing to have is confidence and a smile.
I think that is an awful thing for your teacher to say, I'm sorry.
 
I'm sorry about how your feeling, I can relate though.
Don't listen to your teacher about wearing make up if you don't want to wear make up.
Honestly the best thing to have is confidence and a smile.
I think that is an awful thing for your teacher to say, I'm sorry.

Not only that, but it was my school counsler.
She said "If people make fun of you, wear makeup, I cant help you anymore" "cant you tell me that its going to be okay?" "No. All I can say is in a situation like this, its all up to you" "thank you" "whatever"


:(
I dont know.
I just dont understand why Im the ugly duckling.


Mycamera083.jpg

See?
:sad1: :sad2: :sad1:
 
oh my gosh.
Your school counselor is just basically telling you to conform to everyone else.
I don't think it's about anyone thinking your ugly because your not(I think you are naturally pretty and don't need a ton of make up). I think its more about you being unique and standing out.
I think it's good that you don't conform to everyone else even though some people don't think so. In the long run looking back I think you'll appreciate it.

As for the make up I don't think you need any unless you wanted to wear it just for fun.
Your eyes already stand out so much and you have really nice skin.
 
Thanks.
I really needed to hear that, even if its not true.
 
I will for sure...

I hope she doesn't tell her who would tell him...

omg i hope not

well sorry to tell you this but..
she probably will.
wouldn't you tell your best friend if someone liked her boyfriend?
im sorry to say it, but i wouldn't be surprised of she did.
 
Not only that, but it was my school counsler.
She said "If people make fun of you, wear makeup, I cant help you anymore" "cant you tell me that its going to be okay?" "No. All I can say is in a situation like this, its all up to you" "thank you" "whatever"


:(
I dont know.
I just dont understand why Im the ugly duckling.


Mycamera083.jpg

See?
:sad1: :sad2: :sad1:

okay i sometimes say that people are pretty just not to hurt their feelings, but im dead serious right now. you are drop-dead gorgeous! oh i love your nose :) thats always the first thing I look at for some odd reason. I would kill to have hair like that mines way to curly and frizzy. and you look beautiful with out any make up. thats something that most girls would die for. you have natural beauty dont let any one tell you otherwise
 
so does anyone ever send those forward texts to your crush just to see what they would say back... the ones that are like am i your? 1.best friend 2.crush. etc etc...? I just sent one to mine and it said.
"out of these nine things what would you most enjoy me doing to you?
1.hug you
2.kiss you
3.love you.
4.hold you.
5.cuddle with you.
6.bad one...
7.another back one...
8.lick you... i guess thats bad too.
9.befriend you."

He sent back.. 1 2 3 4 5 9.

I dont know why but that put the biggest smile on my face :)
 
Today was a wonderful day =)
I'm in his group for Social Studies, which is awesome, because I think that's what we're doing all next week.
And he played a song for me a few times in music class.
He makes me happy.

Now I have 5 for days until I see him. Dumb long weekend.
 
today, my crush (who has a girlfriend) was telling me i should get a boyfriend. he wants me to be happy, he says. UGH!!!
 
Aww its okay.
My crush isnt going out with anyone (...well we kinda promised..its a long story)
I told him no matter what happens, I will always be happy as long as hes happy. He smiled and he said "Same goes to you". :( The worst part is, I know that everything I said I meant straight from the heart, but I doubt he meant that.

Seriously, the other day he asked me If I was his friend.
I thought that was kinda obvious.
Of course hes MY friend, I just dont know if Im his.
My friends gave me lots of hugs lately, and I didnt even ask. It was so amazing :) I just...needed it.


Things are going well.
I guess now I dont like anyone, even though I completely do.
Guess Ill stick to my 2 husbands.

Freddie Mercury
+
Glenn Miller
;D​
 
So today was kinda rough. There's another girl, Sophie, whom I consider almost a younger sister. Well, in the beginning it looked like that's how John saw her, too. But now it's all jokes about them going out and him checking her out and I'm so confused about it all.

Half of my friends see John and me as a cute couple- like we belong together.

The other half sees John and Sophie as high-school sweethearts almost. Except she's a freshman and he's a graduating senior.

And sometimes, I can't help but think about how much he smiles when she's around. I can get him to smile and he lets me touch him more than anybody else gets to, but she's the one that makes him laugh the most somedays.

I guess I just didn't notice until I had him to myself for a week and then we came back and there she was.
 


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